As much as I have improved, as far as I have come—I am not yet flawless and a dose of reality reminds me that neither I, nor anyone else, ever will be. These feelings pass. Nah, I never actually thought I was flawless—far from it. I know I have flaws, difficulties, struggles and, yes, sadness. Who doesn’t? It is not perpetual; these are just moments, moments which can be amazing forces of devastation if we let them and without proper care these moments can indeed become long-lasting.
When we set out do something a lot of things can happen along the way. More often than not you will be met with resistance and misunderstandings. Even more frequently there will be those who do not want you to believe in yourself and usually it’s for selfish reasons. If you look bad, feel bad and have no real belief in your abilities then somehow that makes these other people feel better! I know that’s weird, but that’s the way it is.
Some people just don’t want to be motivated, inspired, positive or happy. They live a life of perpetual dissatisfaction and mediocrity and somehow that makes them satisfied. That would not be so bad if these folks kept it to themselves and didn’t complain about those who want to live better, more meaningful lives. Well, if they would keep their complaints in their thoughts or at home, alone, I wouldn’t be writing this, but, these folks, losers that they are, don’t extend their dismal ways to loneliness. Nope, these folks try to be infectious and bring others down with them. They want company and the more the better. You know who they are: they complain about everything and with a straight face try and make the complaints seem as valid as possible, then they look to you for confirmation—an agreement of some sort. I hate to hate, but I really hate that.
So—how do we overcome these infectious negative people?
Yesterday I was doing a little more research into self-publishing. There is some very good information out there on how to go about it, which companies have good reputations and some more good advice from those who have succeeded. Basically, if you have written something and you want it to be available to others self-publishing will do that for you. Self-publishing might not have all the bells and whistles of traditional publishing, but it does get the job done and sometimes better than traditional publishing.
While researching I came upon a forum for writers. In this forum I found a section for self-publishing and naturally I decided to check out what people had to say. I really wish I hadn’t. There was so much negativity and pompousness in that forum. I kept searching the postings for something positive about self-publishing and I could not find anything. Unfortunately, while searching I read a lot of posts and after a while I started to feel let down and uninspired. My motivation, inspiration and hopes seemed to be draining from me and as they went I also felt my strength and energy slowly but surely leaving me too. Negativity isn’t productive or helpful, so once I realized what was happening I clicked out of that forum. It was dreadful!
At first I just tried to forget about what I had read and shake the negative grime off of me. You know grime though; it can’t just be shook off like flakes of dust. Negativity tries to stick, it has little sticky tendrils and those things implant themselves given the chance! Ah, but I have been there, I have been to the bottom, the so-called rock bottom of the well and I know what it is like to look up and have nothing but your fingers and willpower to claw back up the slick high walls—back to the sunshine—to a firm positive belief in self. Having had been there negativity cannot stick to me as it once did.
Sitting at my desk, with surely a look of dismay upon my face and perhaps even a posture of loss and defeat, I put my positive thinking cap on—it comes on naturally these days, but, sometimes even I need a lift. I wrote a post in the powerful intentions forum telling a little of my experience and J.S. aka Jamie came to the rescue with a wonderful uplifting message and a line in her message read:
“Thank you for finding the positive in a problem (ADD) I have thus so far seen as a negative.” J.S.
Her short quote really sums up the story of my life and therefore my memoir (book). It took a lot for me to get to the positive of ADD, I lived through a lot and my story is valuable to those who want that positive lift. I spare very little detail of the pain and suffering and I have climbed out of the well and into the positive sunshine! My story is about living a life with undiagnosed ADD; however, it will be a benefit for anyone who has been to the bottom or anyone who just wants a lift. It raises awareness and spreads hope. My book is a one of a kind, it is the story of my life and I have searched through almost every book written about ADD and there is none other which is even similar to mine and none can be! Everyone’s life is different with or without ADD!
Bravely, I went back to that forum of negative posters against self-publishing. I knew what I was getting into this time and my sense of self belief and positive reinforcement was back and ready! Searching through the posts again a realization came over me. Not one person posting negative comments had been published, either traditionally or self-published! These were just people seemingly giving themselves excuses not to even attempt to be published and one after another were justifying each other’s decision to not self-publish. No poster had a single verifiable true life experience in the self-publishing market! Please, excuse this form of vocabulary, but these postings were pathetic—they reminded me of me way, way back. I allowed them to get me down? Now I was slightly insulted. Ah well, with a click they were gone and out of my life forever. Bye—I won’t be coming back soon, now, you hear? Wish y’all the best! I made it out of that well once before and will not be going back—those folks could surely benefit from my story. (note to self – write about positive experience with publishing)
My vision is to have my book published and available to you. Self-publishing will accomplish that in a professional manner. In many cases self-publishing is better than traditional publishing. It’s quicker and I retain all rights. I have been approached by a traditional publisher; however, you would have to wait too long for the availability and I would have to give up certain rights I want to keep, or at the least, share. I would like to have my book in your hands by December! It’s worth it and I feel supremely positive about that!
—
Even something as simple as
Forgettin’ to fill up on gas
There ain’t no explanation why–
things like that can make you cry
Just gotta learn to have a laugh
When everything is goin’ wrong
Don’t worry, it won’t last for long
Yeah, it’s all gonna come around
Don’t go let it get you down
You gotta keep on holding on
Up–up–up–
Can only go up from here
Up–up–up
where the clouds gonna clear
Up–up–
There’s no way but up from here
Shania Twain – Up!
—
~Bryan
