I received a very interesting email this week about someone who wants to accomplish something, but the things involved such as time and school are holding him back. Not only that, this wonderfully talented person has a gift for craftsmanship, but hasn’t seemed to find a way to make that pay off in the monetary form. His email really hit home and clearly points out one of the Adder Dilemma’s.
What really jumped out at me, more than anything else in this email, were the time lines involved. The writer is very concerned about the time it will take to accomplish certain tasks for school etc. He didn’t seem too worried about if he could pass a class or a course or even a test—it was the time involved that really seemed to be the issue. Time, for Adders, is a very serious dilemma, one that can paralyze an Adder from action. It is important to understand what time does to an Adder—how an Adder reacts to time. By our very nature we are very impatient people. We want to be recognized now! Rewarded now! We want whatever we want now! We have a very difficult time seeing into the future and seeing what we can achieve and then go about achieving it. It’s a strange sort of dilemma because we are great dreamers, great visualizers, and great artists.
Time holds us back—time can be the bane of our existence. Yes, we have plenty of issues which can be described as the banes of our existence, but time is one of the most confounding. The thing about time is, most of us do not even realize that time is our biggest and most challenging adversary. Why? Because we cannot ‘see’ the end of it. Well, everything has a beginning and an end, but time doesn’t. Each Adder must discover for him or herself a way around time. That’s right—a way around it! What’s so unique about us is that we can worry about completing 4 years of college simply because it takes 4 years and before we know it we are retiring from a job after 30 years—and we will still be upset about college and those confounding 4 years it would have taken!
Getting around the time dilemma involves ‘seeing’ the outcome, the completion and then working towards that completion without dwelling on it. College is just an example, it could be anything or everything, the important thing I have discovered for myself is to be able to visualize what I want. Not just visualize it, but make it my drive. In order to get around time, time cannot be the focus or even the consideration. We must find a way to make the goal our focus and the most important consideration. I have found that meditation helps the most with this. Take that ‘time’ to sit down, close your eyes and visualize what it is that you want. Create your dream in your mind, imagine every aspect of it, even the most minor of details—the clothes you will wear when the visualization is completed, the color of your shoes, the fabric you will wear, the people you will meet, everything! Visualize until it becomes you—put yourself into the picture of the future and then stop thinking about what it takes and then go about doing it. Don’t even start to think about the process—you know the process, keep the end result in mind and go from there to achieve it. A great way to do this is write down the process, the qualifications you must meet and then put that list somewhere safe and only use it to check off each task. Once it is written down you will not need to dwell on it—think of the results.
The more you can visualize the end result the more enthusiasm will encompass you. We thrive on enthusiasm and it is imperative to become enthusiastic about a goal and the best way to do that is to be able to visualize it clearly, putting aside all arguments and inner discussions which keep you from accomplishing your tasks. When an Adder dwells on the tasks one must accomplish in order to achieve, that dwelling can become a hyper-focus which can paralyze action. Understanding this and knowing that this can happen is imperative!
Now, the most important part of this article: Therapy. Seek out and find a professionally licensed therapist who specializes in ADD and ADHD. Discuss your ambitions openly with your therapist; let him or her know what concerns you. If you wrote that list of tasks you must accomplish in order to achieve, give that list to your therapist and discuss it openly. Having a therapist can be of the utmost assistance in getting through ‘time’. I do not recommend an ADD ADHD coach alone, if you have not yet had professional therapy. There is a very good reason for that—each of us has emotions and thoughts bottled up and only a licensed therapist can help you resolve those. An ADD ADHD coach in combination with therapy is a good idea, but let your therapist help you decide and choose the right coach. Without proper therapy, I am afraid an Adder’s life is much like the man in the box below – trust me, I know.
***Please, remember that these are my opinions and in no way will diagnose or treat anyone!