Motivational and inspirational writer, Bryan Hutchinson is the author of several books about life with ADHD including the highly acclaimed, best selling "One Boy′s Struggle: A Memoir" and the author of the hilarious eBook that went viral "10 Things I Hate about ADHD"

Finding Love

Finding, Falling and Staying in love 

Part 1
Finding Love

Searching for love is exhilarating, fun and a reason to visit the bright lights of the city at night and mingle, but it can also be frightening when we feel we are constantly rejected and if and when much time passes with no success and an abundance of rejection, it can become a dreadful and disheartening struggle. Often we go out with a smile on our face and tell ourselves we are just going to have fun and it just doesn’t matter if we are not approached or if an offer for a drink or to dance is turned down. Right, we don’t care, we are just out having fun after all.

Negative feedback is negative feedback and no matter how we prepare ourselves, the negativity of rejection is felt. Not only ‘skin deep’ and our emotions react. Continuously repeating the process one might over time start to lower so called standards and the search for love gets over run by the urge to just find a sexual partner.

We are human after all and our unfed urges become an overpowering desire and before we know it, it’s not love we are looking for anymore. It’s imperative to realize when sex becomes the overpowering desire it also effects who you seek out.

We have standards for sex and we have standards for love. Imagine a person you would like to fall in love with and then imagine a person you want to mesh your yearning flesh with. Too few people imagine the same person and yet can you have the ultimate satisfying feeling of physical pleasure without love? I am sure some singles will say yes, but I am convinced that once a single person finds true love they will also find that physical pleasure becomes so much more and satisfying.

Let’s start this book clearly understanding that sex with a person does not necessarily mean the individuals having sex together are in love with each other. Sex can happen the same day you meet a person and, it is often over as quickly as it started. Such sex is fulfilling for the moment only. That is not the description of love. Love is an emotional feeling and connection with another person that develops over time, continuously evolving.  In fact, the evolvement of love between two people in today’s world is a very real encumbrance for the modern person.

Blazing fast Personal computers, cell phones, high-speed Internet and satellite GPS have made a lot of people too used to getting and having things fast and now. Given the speed of the modern world and the ‘here-now’ attitude it is not hard to see why people have also become so impatient with their emotions too. Here is imperative information for those speeding along in this fast paced world of ours: Love is still the same emotion it has always been and no matter how fast technology becomes love is still a human quality, it is still like a flower which must be nurtured and developed from the tiniest seed. Love can still be real and a part of our lives in this fast paced age, but just because the world around has quickened due to our technological advancements we should not expect the same of human emotions and its basic human qualities.

Speaking of human qualities, I think that’s where we will start: A basic human quality which has become ignored by too many individuals and sometimes completely dismissed due to supposed political correctness is… next… Appearance

Finding, falling and staying in love

A couple years ago I wrote a book about love: Finding, falling and staying in love. It has never been published and to be honest I have not attempted to have it published, but for some reason I was clicking through the folders on my hard drive and I came upon it the other day. I opened it up and started reading it for the first time in a couple years. I finished writing it in 2005, before I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. While reading it I realized something I had not considered before. The book is written from my ADDer perspective and it could be of service to my readers on Adder World.

Okay, this is what I have decided: I am leaving it up to you, my readers to decide if I should publishing “Finding, falling and staying in love” – I am going to publish the first couple chapters or so, here on Adder World over the next few weeks or so and your feedback, either via email or in the comments section, will determine if I publish it or not.

~Bryan

The advice book on finding, falling and staying in love!
By Bryan L. Hutchinson
© 2005=2007

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