Motivational and inspirational writer, Bryan Hutchinson is the author of several books about life with ADHD including the highly acclaimed, best selling "One Boy′s Struggle: A Memoir" and the author of the hilarious eBook that went viral "10 Things I Hate about ADHD"

Another ADDer dilemma – Changes

Dilemma I hate change, I absolutely dread it! Few things upset me more than having to make a change. No, I am not talking about simple changes. I am talking about moving and having to meet and get along with new people. There’s just too much involved. I hate changes that rearrange the way I live my life and changes that take things from me, like family members who pass away. I hate those types of changes.

I am not good at changes. It takes me months, sometimes years to get along with new people. I am getting better at it, but I still would rather not do it. It takes a while for people to understand me, I can be extremely confusing.

I am usually forced into change. I won’t do it unless I absolutely have to and I will fight the change with all of my being until the bitter end. It’s no wonder that many of the Adders I have met have gone into law. I can find loop holes and work a rounds with the best of them, especially when I don’t agree with something.

The funny thing is, the changes I am forced into usually work out well and do great wonders for me. Keeping things the same all the time can lead to complacency and since we Adders need to do stimulating things, changes provide the stimuli that I need to make things work, even when I am against them. I have also been forced into doing things I would have normally refused and then later happy about the fact that I had to do it. My mother is rather good at knowing when I needed to do something and no matter how often I said no, she made me do it anyway. When my grandfather was sick in the hospital I did not want to go and see him. I could not see him like that. He was a great man, who I respected above everyone else and I did not want to visit him when he was in such a weakened state. Thanks to my mother’s insistence that I go, I was able to see my grandfather one last time before he passed away. I am eternally grateful that I was able to say goodbye to my grandfather. I would never have forgiven myself for not going. However, if my mother had not made me go, I would not have gone.

Change is another dilemma I am constantly faced with and usually try to reject.

What I have learned is that changes are often good and doing things I don’t necessarily want to do can lead to good things too. It’s weird like that. I want to be comfortable and left alone, but when I am left to living without changes like that I get bored and accomplish less.

I still hate changes though.

What about you? How do you feel about changes? Do they work out for you?

~Bryan

Lisa December 19, 2007 at 3:43 pm

Bryan, I feel alot like you and change. It usually is for the best but at the time I resist it so much.

Moving is a disruption to anyones life I would imagine. In my case, is so crippling at times. I’ve been in my current house over a year and still haven’t settled in,in many areas. Sure the furnitures there but the things that make a house personal, I sorta stopped at that point. I blamed it on the fact that since we move alot, no place feels permanent. Then I visited a house, where the family moves, more then mine does, and everything was in place and in order. They’ve been here less time also. I have to admit, when I see things like that, my self-esteem takes a nose dive. I compare myself and don’t measure up.

I don’t like having people over because to me, my house never looks good enough. Close to a 1,000,000 dollar house, and I still can’t figure it out.

This is a symptom of my ADD. I realize not everyone with ADD is like this.

So what does this have to do with change? Moving is a big change and challenge.

Going out of town….Thats another change I always dread, yet it’s one of those I’m always glad I did after.

My husband usually is the one who pushes the changes, and I hate it at first, but later can see it was what I needed.

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