To Be Perfect or Not to be perfect?
We ADDers can be, at times, perfectionists. And when we become Hyper Focused on getting something perfect it can become an obsession. Nothing is perfect. I have to stop and tell myself that sometimes, but it’s hard to accept, because I really do want to get it right and I try so very hard to get it right. Maybe this or that is wrong, maybe if I adjust this it will come out even better, maybe if I hold it upside down and stand on my left foot and bounce six times, that will do ‘er up just right!
I am not perfect, I have wanted to be perfect, and I have beat myself up to be perfect. When it’s not right I can go around all day long wondering what I can do to make something better, you know, well, perfect – Hyper Focused to the max. Then I think I missed my chance, I blew it—and yet still, I think what can I do?
But you know what? It might seem the wrong thing to do and maybe being perfect isn’t what it’s all about, it isn’t really. None of us can be perfect; however, I have learned to control my efforts, you know, the compulsion to be perfect, and yet I don’t always hold it back, because this drive for perfectionism gives me the tenacity, the will to continue on. I remember being on the verge of being eliminated from a very important pool tournament and I knew I could do better, I wanted to do better and I told myself that. I went back to the table determined, down by 7 games with the winner only needing 11 games to win. He had 8 and I had 1. I continued on and I won. I could have given up; I could have told myself it’s not necessary to be the best I can be. I didn’t do any of that negative stuff, I strived to win and although I wasn’t perfect, wanting to do better, to improve my level of play, gave me the necessary drive to stand up to adversity and overcome.
That’s how I have made it all of my life. I survived because I always wanted to be better. For the longest time I wanted to be perfect and be like others and that provides drive, what I needed to survive, but it wasn’t healthy and over time it made me physically and mentally exhausted. Through therapy and discovery I have learned to keep that same drive and that same unyielding tenacity to never give up and continue forth despite overwhelming odds.
I am going to tell you what I have learned, which is that there is a way, but remember tomorrow is another day and you can do better tomorrow. Learn from today and use what you have learned for tomorrow and the next day. Love yourself and remember the most important person in the world is who you are, who you believe you are—not the opinions of others. No, that’s not who you are. Believe in yourself. You are you, the magnificently amazing you. Strive to improve and do better, but always remember that you do it to be better for yourself, not really to be perfect. Do it for positive reasons and let go of the negative reasons.
We must have a desire to continue, to strive and to overcome. There is nothing wrong to correct something you have learned from and that’s what I do. Be positive towards yourself and do what you do for the right reasons and that’s close enough to perfect for me.
Okay, now with that said, I am done rewriting the previous article: The Tale of an ADD ADHD Memoir. I wanted to be perfect with that article, but finally, instead of being perfect, I decided to write what I feel and believe and left it at that. Nobody is perfect, but we can improve when we strive to be better.