I write about relationships quite a bit, I like to write about them and I hope what I have written has meant something for those who read my articles.
The ADD ADHD mind is very complex and not everyone is the same, we can relate on a lot of levels and in a lot of situations and I believe when it comes to relationships we relate quite well with each other too.
Have you ever had that relationship that stays in your mind, fresh and alive, it never goes away and sometimes that past relationship provides a smile when you need it most and other times it brings sadness and ultimately it keeps one from potential new relationships or it complicates new relationships? I have had that relationship, so powerful and real. It was my first relationship and as the saying goes and holds true “Your first love is never forgotten”. I write about this in my memoir, but I want to write about it here too. It was that special and relates well to the articles I have already posted.
~
I was a young teenager, lost in his thoughts and I kept to myself for the most part when an interesting young man moved into our neighborhood, he was my age and enjoyed a lot of the foolishness I enjoyed. We synced together right away. We climbed trees together, very high up, too high and we explored the forest behind our homes—we’d go out there for hours and hours, making up stories and just enjoying our time of freedom together. We synced so well that we actually fought each other at times, but we usually forgot about our fights shortly afterward as if they never happened. But then I met his sister, his glorious, beautiful sister. It was love at first site, I was struck, the world stopped. I thought she was an angel and to me she was an angel.
We ADDers sometimes can have a difficult time maintaining more than one relationship and I did something I have somewhat always regretted, I gave up my friendship with my new friend for the friendship of his sister. She and I synced together right away too and more importantly she was my first real female friend. It took a while, a lot of pursuit and she became my first girlfriend. While perusing her I stopped paying attention to my friend and my mind was going in one direction only, her direction.
My first love and I stayed together for nearly a year, being inexperienced and naïve I made a lot of mistakes, mistakes I have tortured myself over for years and years. When she finally moved away it was very painful and I had never kissed her or even held her hand. She touched me in a way I had never been touched before or ever again. I guess that’s what the first love is all about. It’s a relationship that doesn’t get a do over or a repeat. It comes and it is amazing, but when it goes, it is so painful. For people like me with ADHD memories can take on lives of their own and stay with us, on the surface of our mind, for a very long time. Our relationship stayed on the surface of my thoughts for 17 years and to this day, from time to time, I still think about those days long ago. That’s a part of my childhood I will always treasure.
The problem for me was that the memory was so strong I let it control decisions I made in future relationships. I was always looking for the same relationship, the same look, the same feeling; I wanted something I couldn’t have…
I am married today to a wonderful woman who is everything to me and all I could have ever wanted. And yet, to move on there was something which had to be done, even though I didn’t realize what it was. Never in my imagination did I ever consider that I would one day be in contact with my first love again, especially not after 17 years… that part of the story is written in my memoir. I warned you
~Bryan
~~
> If you enjoyed this post, please share it via icons below. Enjoy a free ebook and scroll down to comment too! You may get an error when commenting, but your comment will post.
Lisa posted the following on February 22, 2008 at 7:21 pm.
I read about this story in your memoir and I tried to do the same myself with my first love, only I had no luck….I won’t give away the details of your story, I’ll just say I’ve always felt sad that I didn’t get to do what you did…. I don’t know what the result would have been but I have to accept it wasn’t meant to happen.
I’m married also and theres a million reasons why my husband of 19 years was a better choice then this guy ever was, yet that first love stuff is pretty powerful. I think part of it for me was this:
As a young teen with undiagnosed ADD, among other problems, I think it was more the timing of when I met this person then anything else. I had hit rock bottom, my only parent was dying and my future looked hopeless and I was scared of life because I sucked at it. This person, who had more problems then I did, was like a angel to me as well and when I was with him I felt normal. I wonder if it’s more the memory of the way I felt with him that I hung onto to all these years.
"One Boy’s Struggle is a real eye-opener. It should be read by all parents struggling to understand how best to support their ADHD children. Adults with ADHD will likely find validation and new hope from reading Bryan’s story.” ~Dr. Edward Hallowell
CHADD Educator of the Year for 2010, Dr. Katherine Nell Mcneil, "Highly recommends" One Boy’s Struggle
“A very brave and moving memoir.” Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, Katherine Ellison, author of 'Buzz'.
"Gripping account of both the struggles and positive polarities of ADD written beautifully in a honest, open and courageous manner." David A. Crenshaw, Ph.D.
"Anyone with ADD or with friends, loved ones or colleagues with ADD will be informed and touched by Bryan’s book." Bryan Robinson Ph.D. author of 'The Art of Confident Living'
Thank you!
It is an honor to have written a book that is meaning so much and benefiting so many. It is my hope that one day ‘One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir’ will be read by every teacher and parent, as well as read by every adult with ADHD. If you own a copy and have read it, please consider passing it on, loan it out to friends, a support group or donating it to your local library.
All material provided within this website is opinion only, and is not to be construed as medical advice, instruction or direction of any kind. No action should be taken solely on the contents of this website. Visit a health care professional before making any decisions about your health.
I read about this story in your memoir and I tried to do the same myself with my first love, only I had no luck….I won’t give away the details of your story, I’ll just say I’ve always felt sad that I didn’t get to do what you did…. I don’t know what the result would have been but I have to accept it wasn’t meant to happen.
I’m married also and theres a million reasons why my husband of 19 years was a better choice then this guy ever was, yet that first love stuff is pretty powerful. I think part of it for me was this:
As a young teen with undiagnosed ADD, among other problems, I think it was more the timing of when I met this person then anything else. I had hit rock bottom, my only parent was dying and my future looked hopeless and I was scared of life because I sucked at it. This person, who had more problems then I did, was like a angel to me as well and when I was with him I felt normal. I wonder if it’s more the memory of the way I felt with him that I hung onto to all these years.
Reply to Lisa