A Star, A Hero, An Entertainer, An Attraction and lots of Fun – those are some of the gifts of ADHD
I think it is abundantly clear that ADHD can be crippling in today’s society, especially in the educational system where standards and rules must be clearly followed in order to succeed. However, that is changing a bit with schools opening specifically for children with ADHD. I think that alone tells us how prevalent ADHD has become. There is no way to ignore or wash over the aspects of ADHD which causes many with the disorder to become depressed and emotionally unstable. And with that it is no surprise to me to see how closely ADHD and Bipolar mimic each other. Those with ADHD tend to be praised one minute and put down the next and as oppressed as we may be, the truth is, from another’s viewpoint, we deserve both praise and discipline. ADHD is no excuse and frankly, it can’t be used as one – you can try, but let me be the one to break it to you, it’s not going to work, it’s not going to get you very far.
We are all accountable and it doesn’t matter what our issues might be. I have ADHD and I have to eat just like everyone else. If I want to be all that I can be I have to get along, learn and participate in the world as we know it. We have to learn how to cope and we have to learn how to overcome. And we can do those things – trust me, we really can. Does this mean I haven’t had it that tough? If you’re asking that question, then you haven’t read my book yet. And yes, that is the point – I have been there.
I have made a brilliant discovery, a brilliant insight, – well hey, I am brilliant you know… yes, I said it and darn proud of it!
~
Most of us with ADHD concentrate on the things we can’t do and we concentrate on our failures, our mistakes and our lack of this or that, much, much more than we concentrate on what we can do and what makes us feel good. It’s easy to feel bad, it doesn’t take any effort and we can just wallow in our own self-disdain all day long. No smiles, no joy and we can meet likeminded people and make it even worse for ourselves. Well, let me be the one to enlighten you:
There is nothing you can’t do! Let me be just a little more clear on that: there is nothing you can’t do!
Oh but, but, but – no, not going that route. There are no buts about it. There are things you can’t do, in the way others do them; however, if you find your way of doing those very same things, then you can do them and not only that, you could very well do them better than anyone else. The point is that you have to find your own way and not be fearful of taking a different route than everyone else. Did you know that many top companies praise and even reward employees who find new, better ways of doing things? Who better than someone with ADHD to find those new ways? Yes, change your focus and you will change your life.
Some of the most successful people in the world have either dropped out of college or dropped out of high school for one reason or another and some of those drop outs have ADHD. Dropping out didn’t destroy their lives or their careers and in some cases it helped them go the route they needed to go in order to be successful. I have mentioned that before and I have also mentioned that just because I mention this doesn’t mean you should drop out. I am just making a point. Do you know what my point is? Those people did not focus long on what society considers a failure, instead they focused on what they could do and went on and did it.
The truth is that society will overlook any apparent failure if it brings success. Oh wow… it’s true. When you think of Steven Jobs, do you think of failure? I didn’t think so. Didn’t Bill Gates and Paris Hilton drop out too? Oh and by the by… I think I might have… yeah, that’s in my book too. I like being a part of the elite.
Oops, I mentioned Paris Hilton again. More emails to come about how I should not put her in a positive light and she shouldn’t be a role model. The problem with my mentions of Paris Hilton is that folks concentrate on what they don’t like about her and don’t read into my point. She is successful in her own right, she is a media darling and many people love to hate her, but they can’t escape her. She has ADD, she doesn’t use it as an excuse, and she doesn’t let society dictate what she should or should not do. Yes, she is very, very rich. However, she has probably been ridiculed and chastised on a level none of us could ever imagine and in front of the whole world, on the cover of newspapers. Her failures and her mistakes are not her own, they are called out from the roof tops and many of us are a part of that. I admire her in many ways and one of those ways is that despite all the ridicule, the chastisements and her failures, she is still herself and she thrives despite all the odds. If you think being rich protects her mind, then maybe we should consider Britney Spears for a moment.
Paris Hilton is the real deal; she encompasses ADHD as no other ever has, except maybe Da Vinci. Only the late Princess Diana had as much media attention as Paris Hilton. What is different between Paris Hilton and Princess Diana is that Princess Diana was mature and stately. Neither of those fits the description of Paris Hilton, not yet anyway. And that’s part of society’s problem with Paris Hilton, she is not mature, she is childlike and she just seems to get in trouble with something all the time. Hrmmmm… what does that describe? ADHD? It sure does, more than many of us realize. Just imagine for a moment, if you have ADDH, what would it be like if your life, every part of it, was broadcast to the whole world openly and without restraint? What would society think of your failures and your exploits and how would you handle it? Would you use such fame to your advantage or crumble with shame? Sorry, but that’s a very important question. I think Paris Hilton could do a lot more for society and even take a stand and help bring awareness to ADHD of what it is like to live with it and I hope she decides to do so one day, that would probably bring her more good fortune than she could ever imagine and I imagine she can imagine a lot. Okay, enough about Ms. Hilton for now.
Name two of the coolest airlines. How about Jetblue and Virgin Air? Besides being cool, what else do they have in common? They were founded by two people who have ADHD. No, not everyone is destined to open an airlines and that’s probably not what everyone wants to do, but to think a person with ADHD cannot overcome and be successful is ridiculous. Focus on the positive and focus on what you can do. Many of us have focused on the negative so long that we don’t even see the positives anymore and have no clue about what we can do.
Get yourself a notepad and write down everything that you can do. Write at least a hundred things. Oh yes, I do believe that there are a hundred things you can do, probably more. After you have written down a hundred things, narrow it down to the fifty things you enjoy above the rest. From those fifty things, one thing is shining like a bright light in your eyes and it is the one thing you would like to be doing above all the rest. Yes, you might know what that one thing is before writing down a hundred things, but write down a hundred things anyway because you might make a wonderful discovery.
Yes, a wonderful discovery. When I wrote down my hundred things, I discovered something which was amazing… of those hundred things, fifty of them related to the one thing I enjoy the most and excel at the most and am the most successful at – here’s a taste:
Creating, writing, showing off, smiling, flattering, entertaining, being a showman, being the center of attention, sales, designing, observing, advertising, marketing, talking, being a part of something bigger than myself, helping others, attracting attention…
Do you see how all of these things relate? No shortcuts, write everything down, all hundred – you don’t have to describe what you like to do perfectly, generalize if you want. This exercise will help you discover who you really are and give you the vital insight as to where your focus could be better used.
Do you know what that one thing is that I excel at the most and enjoy the most? I used fifty ways to describe it in my list and the other fifty things on my list created a spinoff of things which are attached to that one thing. I wrote my book, created this blog and my videos thanks to that one thing. Know what it is? I am using it right now.
~Bryan
