My best friend is hearing impaired and went to the School for the Deaf for many years.

She also has Waudenbergs Syndrome (don’t know if that’s how you spell it). It means she looks different.

People still treat her as if she was less than. I bear witness to it.

And yet she is, and remains one of my greatest sources of inspiration.

Her heart is truly beautiful.

My wish is that more people were able to see the beauty that lies within the struggle.

I’m very much hoping that one day you may become part of Adderworld.

I believe that you have much to give; this will be hugely valuable to us all.

I am glad to here you are doing better and that you are with a new psychiatrist. I hope you can find the right combination of meds. It sounded to me that you needed a change. When you get on the right meds your life will change and you will be in a much better place.

Good luck and I hope to see you on the interactive site.

Hey, put me in as your referral. Bryan is running a contest and I want to win. LOL

Steve

In an ideal world, people would be judged by who they were, not how they looked or how they performed on tests. I like the idea of “emotional intelligence”. I used to fear emotions, both the negative ones I got from other people and the ones simmering inside me that I was afraid might come out. But I’d rather understand the people beneath the labels. I know we can’t eliminate labels completely. I’m glad that on this site it seems that people don’t mind when others express a wide variety of emotions and show ourselves to be the humans we are, whether we are an olympic athlete (and yes, I do stand in awe of Michael Phelps and of his wonderfully supportive mom) or whether we mop floors and clean tables at Burger King. If there is anything (well, actually there are a lot of things) but probably one of the most positive aspects of my blindness is that I am not distracted by how people look. It’s a good thing that my husband is also blind since he’s not worried about whether I’m wrapped in a beautiful package or whether I’m a treasure wrapped in brown paper and tied with twine. Thank you all for your acceptance and helpful advice and I hope to join you in the group soon.
Laura by

I am glad you found this site. You will find everyone in the Adder World to be very supportive as well as helpful. I think you will also find that there are a lot of women on here as well. I actually think there are more women than men at this point but Bryan would have to verify that.

I am Bipolar like you as well and I totally understand the depth of your depressions. I hope you have that under control with medications.

From your statement: “I struggle constantly with depression, despair and hopelessness that is darker than any physical darkness I experience.”

I wonder if you are on the right medication for your Bipolar. I was not properly diagnosed with Bipolar until I was 40, which was 10 years ago. I had those same feelings and had been suicidal on many occasions, which I assume that you have been as well from your comment.

I always felt like I could handle things on my own but looking back, I should have put myself in a mental hospital. It was the stigma that kept me from doing that. Being on the right medications drastically help save my life.

After I got my bipolar under control I was able to start to work on my ADD.

You certainly have an awful lot to deal with and focus is a big problem with ADD. My suggestion is to take each disorder one at a time and I really have a concern for you from what you say, that your Bipolar is your biggest problem right now if you are still struggling with the major depression, despair and hopelessness.

There are a lot of overlapping symptoms between ADD and Bipolar and trying to figure out which is causing the problem at a point in time is tricky.

It was just a few weeks ago that I found this site and after reading Bryan’s book and being on the site, I have learned a lot about living with ADD. I really never knew how it had affected me.

I see that Bryan gave you the link to the interactive site where most of the people who have responded to your post including Bryan keep in touch.

I hope you join us in the interactive AdderWorld site and I wish you all the best.

Steve

I would like to join the others in thanking you for being so honest.

I am curious about whether some of your depression and fear about sabotaging yourself might be helped by concepts in Carol Dweck’s book, “Mindset, the New Psychology of Success.”

I’m finding this book extremely helpful in my psychotherapy and coaching practices, and as a parent. Ms. Dweck examines two different mindsets – what she calls the “fixed mindset” and the “growth mindset.”

Those of us with fixed mindsets think that people are either smart or not, talented or not and each endeavor is a chance to fail and show that we are not so smart or talented, after all.

Those of us with growth mindsets focus on effort and realize that if we keep trying, we are likely to make progress. Students who have or are taught the growth mindset actually tend to learn more, as they focus on learning, rather than the possibility of failing at the next opportunity to prove themselves.

The book is filled with examples of people with each mindset. For example, supposedly John McEnroe lost in doubles at Wimbledon and didn’t play doubles again for 20 years.

Students with good grades who were told “you did really well, you must be smart” tended to shy away from more difficult problems (which might show they weren’t so smart after all) while students who were told “you did really well, you must have worked hard” were more likely to try the more difficult problems.

Perhaps it’s a stretch, but it seems to me that these concepts could help kids (and adults) with ADHD to avoid problems of low self-esteem and to improve actual performance.

I don’t think I’ve done the book justice, but any thoughts about whether focusing on growth, learning, and effort rather than “intelligence” and talent might make life a bit easier for those with ADHD?

Jonathan

Your post was so well written and so poignant. I admire how you’ve been able to rise above your difficulties and succeed so well! Please do join us at ADDerWorld – it is a wonderfully supportive and engaging place for all of us to connect with each other. Hope to see you there soon!

NerdyMommy

You are not alone in your feelings as I saw myself in many of the things you wrote. I hope you will join the group Bryan suggested above and visit with us there.

I am humbled by the things you have been able to accomplish in your life and you are a encouragement and hero to all of us with ADD.

I parent my ADD son and hyperactive daughter. They are 11 and 7. I liked reading your post. You were very transparent. You sound like an amazing woman. Retinitis pigmentosa runs in my family and both of my uncles are blind. I don’t know if I carry it or if my son has inherited it. You are an inspiration to be so bold as to tell it like it is and I appreciate it. Thank you for reaching out. I hope you receive the response you need and were looking for.

Sincerely,
Bobbi