ADHD has brought us together in a community of caring and common cause. We have discovered that Depression, PTSD and Fear are not simply the result of ADHD, but more often the negative treatment of one with ADHD by others due to apparent shortcomings in ADHD tendencies. Not only that, but also the way we treat ourselves for ‘not’ measuring up. Through our sharing we give each other hope and aspirations for better tomorrows.
Let’s give thanks that The Brilliant Reality of ADHD is finally seeing the light, we are discovering that there is more to ADHD than the negative connotation associated with the abbreviation.
The Brilliant Reality of ADHD is that you and I are not alone and we are possessing valuable talents and traits which are valuable not only to ourselves, but to the community as a whole. ADDers are the ones who were being left behind in society as misfits, but that is once again changing. Not every one of us will become the next Richard Branson, Albert Einstein or Michael Phelps, but thanks to ADDers such as them it is becoming more apparent that ADHD is not simply a negative reality. If anyone has noticed, and I have, many of the most successful over achievers of our time have ADHD! Is the negative stigma created to hold us back and make us feel lesser than others? Well, it’s not created to be that way, but one can argue that it has gotten carried away. To be successful with ADHD means being who you are as an individual, using our innate talents and traits for the good of self and others.
I was talking to a therapist recently and he explained to me that his treatment with ADDers is often not about the symptoms of ADHD, but rather the chastisement and ridicule they have suffered from and the expectations they have of doing things as those without ADHD would do them. After all, coaching, medication and most treatments for ADHD are to help ADDers be organized and perform as normal people are expected to. Even in relationships ADDers are expected to be a certain way and usually cannot meet those expectations without serious help and will power.
I am the first to admit that my ADDer tendencies helped lead to my divorce from my first wife and even so, there were two sides involved. The blame doesn’t fall entirely on the partner with ADHD, but it seems that this is becoming the excepted wisdom.
Okay, let’s be clear that we ADDers have a lot to overcome and it doesn’t matter if it is due to society or ourselves, we still have to work to improve ourselves. This goes for just about anyone and everyone. Who doesn’t want to improve who they are and do better in life for others and themselves? An ADDer could be wrong in a relationship and causing hardships, and also those without ADHD could be wrong in a relationship and causing hardships. Divorce is not limited to ADDers alone.
ADHD can be a gift. ADHD has positive attributes. ADDers tend to be creative and unorthodox thinkers who offer new insights and perspectives which lead to new inventions and creations. Even the mainstream media is catching on to recognizing that the reality of ADHD might not be as cut and dry as many have been lead to believe over the last couple decades. Here are two recent articles by Tara Parker-Pope which show how far we have come and how far we still have to go:
Can attention deficit be framed as a gift? Herald Tribune
Michael Phelps and the Potential of A.D.H.D. The New York Times
Indeed, ADHD is not all bad and we do not need to correct every little aspect of our natural nature of being. Let’s give thanks to each other for being the friends we are and coming together as a community of caring people who strive to be better, not simply because we have ADHD, but because we want to become better as human beings for which it is a natural process to want to improve and aspire for more.