When I sit down to write an article or when I answer a question posed to me about ADHD, I pull from my experiences. And from my experiences, I would like to make one thing absolutely, positively clear:
You have got to have something to believe in, even if you have ADHD!
I have ADHD inside and out, from the right side of my brain to the left side and right down the middle! ADHD is not separate from who I am, it is not something which has divided a line down the middle of my brain and said this is my portion and this is where I stay. No, ADHD is part of everything I do, say and feel, act and contemplate. It is all encompassing. If I do something positive, ADHD is involved. If I do something negative, ADHD is involved. If I do something neutral, mysteriously enough, ADHD is involved. And by the way, yes, thanks to ADHD I can do some things better than other people can, because, they don’t have what I have. We are all unique individuals. ADHD is me!
You know, some people with ADHD have got it pretty hard, they can’t see how things are going to work out for them tomorrow. At any given time there is so much buzzing going on in their minds that concentration seems hopeless. Medication might be the answer to help control that buzzing, to dampen the impulses and slow down the motions, but, and this is an important but, what if the medication doesn’t work? What if the side effects are too much? What then? Oh, no, don’t even consider that I am against medication, because, I am not. When it works, that’s great, but, what about when it doesn’t? What if it only works well for a year, two years, five years… then what? The medication dance starts and the increased chances for negative effects start too. I wish there was a magic pill that any child and adult with ADHD could take and the buzzing would stop. I think we all wish that and to a degree there is medication which does in fact do that, when it works. Sign me up for that!
You want to know something? I learned to control the buzzing, impulsiveness and even learned to use hyper focusing to my advantage! (I truly believe hyper-focusing is a gift when we have control of it – yeah, I said it!) I did it without medication and it took years upon years to get there. The main reason it took years to get there was because I didn’t know I had ADHD at the time. I didn’t know what was wrong, but, even so, I didn’t give up. Why? Because I had heroes to look up to, people who had achieved things that had no right to achieve anything because they had serious disabilities or came from roots which should have disqualified them from the start. If they could do it, well, hey, why couldn’t I? If you know my story you know the dire straits I was in. You don’t go through a decade of therapy because things are looking great for you.
I was reading recently about the less fortunate ADDers who have it intolerably and it’s not right to give such esteem to famous ADDers like Einstein, Edison, Phelps, Branson or Bradshaw! By giving such esteem, it raises the bar too high. Let me put it this way, it’s not about the bar being raised too high. As a person with ADHD and has been there, it has nothing whatsoever to do with the bar being too high. Yes, some get down on themselves and dream of soaring and their ADHD mind is holding them back. Actually, it is from these exact challenges where we can find the resources we need to improve, to achieve, to find our very own brand of greatness. I am not saying it is easy. Far from it.
When I was playing pool, trying to make it, I had such a difficult time shutting down the buzzing going on in my head. I became so distracted that I showed my butt so often that I frequently felt humiliated. And thankfully, I had my heroes. I didn’t harbor any dreams of grandeur that I would become as good as my heroes, but, they gave me hope that if they could do it, there must be a way, somehow, some way. And for each and every one of us, I truly believe, yes, fully, totally, completely believe that there is a way. The way might not be my way, or, your way, but, there is a way – if we have something to believe in!
When I look at the searches for my site, 20 to 1 people are searching for something positive. Search terms
include: Love, Hope, Gift, Dreams and Hyper Focus. People are looking for something to believe in. People have been looking for something to believe in since the dawn of the human race and it is that search for something which propels people from all walks of life to find their very own brand of greatness. Greatness doesn’t always include bright Saturday night lights! It doesn’t have to be fancy, it just has to be the achievement they desire and who has the right to say that we should stop offering something to believe in? Or, that ADDers should stop looking to the stars? I cannot and will not agree with that, my experiences prove to me differently. Would we prefer anyone search for destructive outlets? Knowing there are people to look up to creates desire and willpower to seek help and proper treatment.
Back to the time I was showing my butt in humiliating fashion: let me go further and give more of that story. I had a girlfriend at that time, she cared about me deeply, she saw how it pained me to always lose and lose disastrously. My girlfriend wanted me to stop playing pool; she told me it wasn’t worth it to go through such pain and agony. She loved me and wanted me to give it up, but, I had tenacity. That’s right, I am calling it tenacity, many would call it stubbornness. Choice of verbiage is just as important; never underestimate the power of the words we choose. Thanks to eventually attracting mentors and seeking out specific mentors I learned to control the buzzing, I learned to find ways of meditating while playing and finally winning! Yes, I could always hit the balls with precision and control the cue as if it was on a string; however, with all the distractions I just couldn’t show my ability when it mattered. Eventually I overcame the struggle, I persevered!
I give thanks to many factors. I consider one of the most important factors to be the fact I knew others had paved the way; others had done it before I had and made it through. I pressed on. If you ever feel like giving up, or, giving in, find your hero! You don’t have to achieve the same status, but, when the going gets rough, and it most assuredly will, find your hero!
I will say it again:
You have got to have something to believe in, even if you have ADHD!
Perhaps we would all still be in the dark if Edison had given up on the lightbulb… after how many tries? Not bad for someone considered to have had ADHD and only 3 months of schooling… Yes, indeed, thoughts become things!
~Bryan
PS: After reading this, be sure to read the the rest of the story in my article:
“What you don’t know will hurt you.”
