Comments on: Is Sex important to someone with ADHD?

By: Bryan Hutchinson

Bryan Hutchinson — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 12:11:33 +0000

Indeed I did, Tom… I think you will want to read my soon to be published new book

By: Tom

Tom — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 10:09:15 +0000

Did you realy find it ? Or is this just an expression and a thought ? Please let me hope again

By: andrew

andrew — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 04:11:06 +0000

I have ADHD but have never been interest in sex. I’m adult now, and would say I am asexual. Is this common with ADHD?

By: Shauna

Shauna — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:22:43 +0000

I am the spouse of an ADDer. We are currently separated and one of the main issues was sex. He didn’t want to touch me sexually. He was snuggly, and for the most part sweet but had little interest in sex. I would feel degraded when I was constantly turned down. My self-esteem suffered. He had gone off his meds because we changed our lifestyle – better eating, exercise, meditation just before we married but he soon gave it up after the honeymoon. I begged him to tell me why he didn’t desire me. He went to see a counsellor, one he’d been seeing for years before he met me, and he just came home and said we needed to split. I still have no idea why. Before he met me, he bedded many women in a one-night stand capacity. Sometimes we would encounter them socially and I would ask if he slept with them. He would lie and say no. My trust disintegrated. Why would he lie to me about his past? What would stop him from lying to me now? I still don’t know for a fact if he was unfaithful and I know most of you will say he was. The truth is we love each other very much but he just won’t talk and I am so hurt and confused, I don’t know what to do. I suggested couples counselling, seeing his counsellor together right at the beginning but he refused. He also took a brand new job, travelling, and is now finding out he doesn’t like it. He thought it would make him happy but it hasn’t. Can any of you offer some advice, no matter how much it may be difficult to hear? I really need to move on but keep beating myself up!

By: Dana

Dana — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 06:03:43 +0000

Bryan, I just had another ADDer moment…….I found this post, noticed that it was from May 2009 and I did not recall ever reading it. Funny thing is that I came upon MY very own comment to this post and I totally forgot that I wrote a comment or even read this before!We can add this to your collection of answers on your other post titled, “YOU KNOW YOU HAVE ADHD WHEN……..” After reviewing the response of each individual, it sounds to me as if there are some ADDer’s who find sex boring, but there is another set of ADDer’s that do not find sex boring. Very interesting!My theory to this conclusion is that sex is only sex and NOTHING more when there is NO love, passion, connection, respect or deep emotions for the partner whom the individual is having sex with. This explains the reason for lack of excitement, intimacy, passion and AWESOME sex. No wonder they are bored……On the other hand, the individuals diagnosed with ADD/ADHD who definitely have had the positive experience of enjoying AWESOME sex with dramatic results, never a dull moment, but extremely satisfying, passionate and mutually exciting for the other partner then HIGH FIVES TO ALL OF YOU!In my experience, what makes the difference between “boring sex” and “”mind-blowing sex”(Like the 4th of July fireworks!) is the INDIVIDUAL who you are with as well as your RELATIONSHIP. There is no doubt in my mind that sex with someone I love deeply is far better than any experience on this earth and it does make an ABSOLUTE difference in how emotionally and physically satisfying the experience is.

By: Scott Hutson

Scott Hutson — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:53:06 +0000

Byran,I just found this post today, from related artictles to your post about your upcoming book “Adult ADHD can be Sexy”. And of course, it caught my attn.(chuckle).I thought about it for few minutes, and this is one of the thoughts…..For me, It’s kinda like being in route, on a vacation I have been looking foreward to. The anticipation and excitement is one of the best parts! …..The thoughts racing through my mind, like skiing on perfect powder, launching my boat onto a lake full of trophy Bass, walking up stairs to our room at a secluded “Bed & Breakfast”, or whatever.I always know that We will enjoy ourselves when We get there! We will feel satified and looking foreward to our next “Trip”, when We return home exhausted…but glad We went!Scott.

By: Gina Pera

Gina Pera — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 23:16:11 +0000

Great response, eh, Bryan? You articulated the experience of many readers, and in a most original way. Way to go!

By: EQ

EQ — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 03:15:22 +0000

HOLY *%^*IN SH** – You, whom I’ve never known, have just made me realize why I felt so odd ever since college. I knew I had ADHD. But I never made the connection with how I feel about sex. My ex-wife and I are still friends. But she always thought it was something wrong with her.
Thank you for this post.

By: jen

jen — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 22:12:36 +0000

Umm…..TONS of people get bored with sex with the same person after the first few times….that’s why so many people cheat. I don’t think ADHD has much to do with it.

By: C.J. MacKechnie

C.J. MacKechnie — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 11:57:28 +0000

Have you made the comparison with those who are and have been medicated and those who are not?
I have not been medicated for well over 20 years and I can say that there is a big difference between sex and making love. I have the ability to hyper focus and my skin is and has always been hyper sensitive. The Sex act to me is preferred over anything else. I have been married for over 18 years to one woman and have had only one wife. With my wife sex has become more meaningful than early on. Hope this has not been to graphic.