Comments on: Problems aren’t all bad, but I detest being fearful http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/09/30/problems-aren%e2%80%99t-all-bad-but-i-detest-being-fearful/ Bryan Hutchinson's thoughts about ADD ADHD Attention Deficit Disorder and other stuff Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:44:35 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: Bryan Hutchinson http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/09/30/problems-aren%e2%80%99t-all-bad-but-i-detest-being-fearful/comment-page-1/#comment-27069 Bryan Hutchinson Fri, 09 Oct 2009 05:11:47 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2371#comment-27069 Hi Andy, just noticed you joined our social network too. Great! Yeah, fear can be the pits, I have found that talking about it helps and sometimes when we say what we fear outloud we realize it is not as fearful as we thought it was in our mind's eye. Always nice to meet a fellow ADDer! Bryan Hi Andy, just noticed you joined our social network too. Great! Yeah, fear can be the pits, I have found that talking about it helps and sometimes when we say what we fear outloud we realize it is not as fearful as we thought it was in our mind’s eye. Always nice to meet a fellow ADDer!

Bryan

]]> By: Andy Olson http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/09/30/problems-aren%e2%80%99t-all-bad-but-i-detest-being-fearful/comment-page-1/#comment-27064 Andy Olson Fri, 09 Oct 2009 04:15:09 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2371#comment-27064 Hello! I stumbled onto your site and really liked what you said about fear! I'm that place right now... and it's horrible. The good news is, that this feeling will pass when I start to think of something else... :) Will keep up with your site. Thanks! Andy - Fellow ADDer Hello! I stumbled onto your site and really liked what you said about fear! I’m that place right now… and it’s horrible. The good news is, that this feeling will pass when I start to think of something else… :)

Will keep up with your site. Thanks!

Andy – Fellow ADDer

]]> By: Bryan Hutchinson http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/09/30/problems-aren%e2%80%99t-all-bad-but-i-detest-being-fearful/comment-page-1/#comment-26921 Bryan Hutchinson Mon, 05 Oct 2009 22:06:35 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2371#comment-26921 Yep, ditto Betsy! What kind of sense does it make to make anyone, child or adult feel worse in order to improve? Because a child behaves better out of fear doesn't mean they have learned anything except to be quiet and constantly on guard, or hide as much as possible. That’s a solution? Yep, ditto Betsy! What kind of sense does it make to make anyone, child or adult feel worse in order to improve? Because a child behaves better out of fear doesn’t mean they have learned anything except to be quiet and constantly on guard, or hide as much as possible. That’s a solution?

]]> By: Betsy Davenport, PhD http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/09/30/problems-aren%e2%80%99t-all-bad-but-i-detest-being-fearful/comment-page-1/#comment-26918 Betsy Davenport, PhD Mon, 05 Oct 2009 19:24:41 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2371#comment-26918 Physical violence is never all right. Punishment of any sort is at best unhelpful. Somewhere along the line people got it into their heads that we have to make children feel worse so they can act better. Stupid stupid and wrong. Not even practical, let alone humane. Physical violence is never all right. Punishment of any sort is at best unhelpful. Somewhere along the line people got it into their heads that we have to make children feel worse so they can act better.

Stupid stupid and wrong. Not even practical, let alone humane.

]]> By: Betsy Davenport, PhD http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/09/30/problems-aren%e2%80%99t-all-bad-but-i-detest-being-fearful/comment-page-1/#comment-26858 Betsy Davenport, PhD Sat, 03 Oct 2009 04:59:51 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2371#comment-26858 The best way to ensure children and other people learn, is to help them remain free of fear. This is something that makes me nuts -- when I hear adults deliberately evoking fear in children as a teaching tool. WRONG. Children who are unafraid are more able to think, and thinking is a very important thing to be able to do. So many of the problems we face as individuals, groups, nations and a planet are either based on fear, or unsolvable because of fear; or both. Good post, Bryan. The best way to ensure children and other people learn, is to help them remain free of fear. This is something that makes me nuts — when I hear adults deliberately evoking fear in children as a teaching tool. WRONG.

Children who are unafraid are more able to think, and thinking is a very important thing to be able to do. So many of the problems we face as individuals, groups, nations and a planet are either based on fear, or unsolvable because of fear; or both.

Good post, Bryan.

]]> By: Bryan http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/09/30/problems-aren%e2%80%99t-all-bad-but-i-detest-being-fearful/comment-page-1/#comment-26824 Bryan Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:59:58 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2371#comment-26824 Katy, I went to that link you sent me and the comments for that study really got the better of me. I know most of the comments were directed at the study, but it sure seems that many of them were for physically punishing children! It messed me up all day and I can't get over how they write as if CP is justifiable with disregard to lasting effects or the failure in discipline could be something more than just 'bad' behavior on the part of the kids. Katy, I went to that link you sent me and the comments for that study really got the better of me. I know most of the comments were directed at the study, but it sure seems that many of them were for physically punishing children! It messed me up all day and I can’t get over how they write as if CP is justifiable with disregard to lasting effects or the failure in discipline could be something more than just ‘bad’ behavior on the part of the kids.

]]> By: Bryan http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/09/30/problems-aren%e2%80%99t-all-bad-but-i-detest-being-fearful/comment-page-1/#comment-26804 Bryan Thu, 01 Oct 2009 09:55:08 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2371#comment-26804 Yep Katy, there are more and more studies coming out about this and it just stands to reason that such punishment never works. It's common sense really. Why we think it works is beyond me. I had someone tell me that spanking helped them grow up, so it is okay, it learned him, he says, but I rarely take the time to give consideration to such dribble when the person can't hold a job or treats others with disrespect because that's the way it's supposed to work, after all it worked for him... too sad really... I always take a good look at who tells me this and how they are doing, that tells me the influence they will have on me if I pay 'em too much attention. Meaning: you are absolutely correct 'acknowledging' is the first step to gaining one's power back, even if they never remember having the power in the first place! Yep Katy, there are more and more studies coming out about this and it just stands to reason that such punishment never works. It’s common sense really. Why we think it works is beyond me. I had someone tell me that spanking helped them grow up, so it is okay, it learned him, he says, but I rarely take the time to give consideration to such dribble when the person can’t hold a job or treats others with disrespect because that’s the way it’s supposed to work, after all it worked for him… too sad really… I always take a good look at who tells me this and how they are doing, that tells me the influence they will have on me if I pay ‘em too much attention. Meaning: you are absolutely correct ‘acknowledging’ is the first step to gaining one’s power back, even if they never remember having the power in the first place!

]]> By: Bryan http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/09/30/problems-aren%e2%80%99t-all-bad-but-i-detest-being-fearful/comment-page-1/#comment-26803 Bryan Thu, 01 Oct 2009 09:39:31 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2371#comment-26803 Hi Melissa, so true, sometimes what we fear comes upon us, but more often than not, what we fear the most never is as much as we think it is, sometimes it's just a little bump that our mind creates into this incredible mountain of mental frustration... Hi Melissa, so true, sometimes what we fear comes upon us, but more often than not, what we fear the most never is as much as we think it is, sometimes it’s just a little bump that our mind creates into this incredible mountain of mental frustration…

]]> By: Katy B. "Miss K" http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/09/30/problems-aren%e2%80%99t-all-bad-but-i-detest-being-fearful/comment-page-1/#comment-26791 Katy B. "Miss K" Thu, 01 Oct 2009 01:34:25 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2371#comment-26791 I saw an article about another study this week that indicates that spanking may lower IQ. It also supports some of what you are saying Bryan: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/booster_shots/2009/09/spanking-iq.html Very interesting! Fear certainly can be powerful and dangerous. The first step to taking you power back of course, is acknowledging...so...keep up the good work:) I saw an article about another study this week that indicates that spanking may lower IQ. It also supports some of what you are saying Bryan: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/booster_shots/2009/09/spanking-iq.html

Very interesting! Fear certainly can be powerful and dangerous. The first step to taking you power back of course, is acknowledging…so…keep up the good work:)

]]> By: Melissa Raines http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/09/30/problems-aren%e2%80%99t-all-bad-but-i-detest-being-fearful/comment-page-1/#comment-26787 Melissa Raines Wed, 30 Sep 2009 22:49:17 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2371#comment-26787 So true you hit the nail right on the head. My dad always told me to never let fear or being fearful of a problem stop you from sovling it . I will personally admit being ADD I have my times when I have had a problem & didn't know what do to solve that problem , I found alot of times that when ever i would get obbsessive on solving that problem that , being so focused on solving that problem would just make the problem even worse & then I would end up even more frustrated, it would be then I would just take a break & try to put the problem out of my head for a little while and get my mind on to something else . We know what they say, some times when ever you don't know what to do to solve a problem that when ever you don't know what todo , that some times the best thing you can do is nothing at all - then again it all depends on what the problem is. So true you hit the nail right on the head. My dad always told me to never let fear or being fearful of a problem stop you from sovling it . I will personally admit being ADD I have my times when I have had a problem & didn’t know what do to solve that problem , I found alot of times that when ever i would get obbsessive on solving that problem that , being so focused on solving that problem would just make the problem even worse & then I would end up even more frustrated, it would be then I would just take a break & try to put the problem out of my head for a little while and get my mind on to something else . We know what they say, some times when ever you don’t know what to do to solve a problem that when ever you don’t know what todo , that some times the best thing you can do is nothing at all – then again it all depends on what the problem is.

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