Thanks to the science of ADHD we have medication which is helping people cope day to day, and for some fortunate people medication has completely changed the way they live their lives for the better.
Without science ADHD would not be classified as a disorder and we would still be stuck in the dark ages of ADHD, meaning ADDers are considered dumb, stupid, lazy, and unmotivated etc…
Without the science of ADHD some may still be spanking and punishing children in ways that are unhelpful and destructive. Science has pointed out that such corporal punishment can be detrimental to a child’s intellectual and emotional development. I may never be able to put into words how thankful I am for this type of research.
We now know that the symptoms of ADHD can be quantified, thanks to scientific research and accordingly diagnosed by qualified professionals.
I am extremely thankful to the science of ADHD!
However, I think it is very easy to get carried away with it. Some are letting the science of ADHD limit them; they insist that ADHD is what the science says it is and that’s it, that we are doomed, so get used to it. I do not agree. I believe science has moved us forward enabling people to receive treatment to improve their lives beyond the science of ADHD. Scientific research is often funded to not only identify, but also help create or discover solutions to improve the lives of those with ADHD.
Do we think for a minute that employment laws, (Americans with Disabilities Act), or effective professional treatment would be available for people with ADHD without the scientific research to back it? I know I don’t. Let’s give credit where credit is due.
Let’s not knock the scientific research of ADHD! I really don’t know too many who do that anyway, but just in case. At the same time let’s not abuse it either. Scientific research is not meant to be a trap.
Science cannot quantify the human spirit and it cannot quantify emotions, it cannot quantify imagination, hope, love and happiness or intuition. I am just saying that science has limitations and if we base our life solely around scientific facts, we are limiting ourselves in ways I do not believe are intended by scientists.
Here are two of my favorite quotes by Einstein:
“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.” & “Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.”
Albert Einstein
From time to time I receive an email that asks me to scientifically quantify positive thinking in relation to ADHD. The people asking me obviously already know the answer: impossible. However, that only means science is limited in what it can quantify.
Does anyone truly believe that positive thinking doesn’t exist or that people with ADHD cannot think positively or learn to lead successful, happy lives? We are humans and not robots, therefore we all possess the human spirit, which of course is not quantifiable by science either.
So we come to the “gift of ADHD”. Can science prove that ADHD is a gift? No, it cannot, it does not and it never will. The issue really isn’t whether ADHD is a gift or not, the issue has to do with the context involved in using the term ‘gift’ in relation to ADHD and, just as importantly, one group usually doesn’t like what another group believes, especially if it is working for them (I sometimes think that’s really at issue in the debate).
If you believe that ADHD provides you with certain advantages you choose to call ‘gifts’ that’s your right. Science won’t back you with that type of thinking, mainly because what is involved can’t be quantified by science; however, think about this: Many doctors believe that the way one thinks of their condition(s) either positively or negatively, will impact their treatment.
Negative and pessimistic thinking is contagious, it’s easy and reliable. Positive thinking is difficult because it requires getting past negative and pessimistic thinking, getting past those natural thoughts which float around in our minds which are already telling us ‘we can’t’ and ‘we won’t’. The Id (or whatever you want to call it) within us loves company and reinforcement, and it takes a lot to rise above that, which is part of the reason why, when we finally do rise above the Id, that those challenges and problems suddenly seem to have been gifts, because, we now exist on a new level which we would have never achieved without the issues that got us there. Is that wrong? It’s all in the context.
It can then be argued that whatever we achieve, could it have been done without having ADHD? The way we choose to conquer the challenges we face in life make us who we are ultimately. Some choose science, education, hope and/or inspiration, while others remain in despair and negativity. How one deals with the challenges faced in life, positively or negatively, will have an impact.
Even so, this is not to say that we may still wish not to have had ADHD in the first place. I for one would have appreciated not being a late bloomer, not being punished and chastised as a youth (and as an adult) due to ADHD traits. However, I do have ADHD and it is not curable, it is not going anywhere. I choose to meet the challenge daily, knowing each day could be my best day ever and my positive mental attitude toward having ADHD is much involved in that process. Some of my ADHD traits I do now see as gifts, and you know what? It works for me. And, I think it can work for others, but, that part is not up to me. And, with that, there really is no debate.
When the ‘gift’ of ADHD is taken out of context it takes away from the very real difficulties we live with day to day; however, the science of ADHD can be taken out of context too and I believe that deserves to be mentioned as well. The science only determines what it can quantify, but that doesn’t mean nothing else exists. Science cannot tell us the meaning of life, or why we are here. Let’s be grateful for the science of ADHD, but at the same time let’s not be fooled that the science of ADHD is all there is, anymore than you should be fooled by the ‘gift’ of ADHD when taken out of context.
Your gifts are what you make them and no one can take them away from you! Furthermore, science itself does not make moral judgements, nor is it opinionated – people do and people are.
The next time someone asks me to scientifically quantify positive thinking in relation to ADHD, or, to quantify the ‘gift’ of ADHD, I will simply ask them to quantify love first. Anything can be a gift to the person who chooses to see it that way, but no one else must see it that way – the question I want to ask is: who has the right to try to take one’s positive, enabling perspective away from them?
~Bryan
BTW: ADHD is not diabetes, it is not a missing limb, it is not PTSD, it is not depression and it is not cancer and is not comparable on an apples to apples basis with any other type of illness or disease (at least, as far as I know). ADHD is ADHD. Also, remember these are just my opinions, always seek a medical professional for evaluation. - Why I was asked to quantify via science in the first place, I don’t know, so I ran with my thoughts on the matter, as I see them using the term quantify as it was put to me. - Many who have read my book “One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir” have sincerely asked me why I would consider any part of ADHD, in anyway, a gift or gifts due to my history. Actually, I do believe I answered that question within the pages of “One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir” and is part of the reason I was eventually able to write it.
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Personality is a big topic. Science has barely begun to quantify it. We see bits and pieces in the study of depression and personality disorders. Genetic research tells us what our predispositions are. Science has brought us medicines and better understanding of how we are and how we do things, but it cannot define what we are and what we choose to do. We are affected by everything in our lives, good and bad. Constructing an outlook for your life and managing your deficits given the cards you are dealt is the job we all do, ADD or not. It is part of growing up. Whining about how hard it is, or what you don’t have doesn’t help.
It is helpful to talk about our shared difficulties in support of each other, but we need to not forget how our difficulties have made us stronger, more resilient, and yes, more creative. Creativity is also nurtured by practice-just as is a positive outlook.
Being positive takes practice. It is easy to give in to the other side. This not only makes life more unpleasant for yourself, but also for the people around you. We sure don’t need to hear from Chicken Little-we all already have enough of that on our own.
Yes, Deb, thank you. Chicken little has so much, and puts so much, energy into announcing the sky is falling, what if that energy was used constructively to empower and help people in need? Now that’s an idea. Let’s quantify that.
So much here to comment on. First of all, you’re not a scientist and you don’t claim to be one Bryan. It is apparent to me that your perspective is that of a person “in the trenches” seeking to inspire others “in the trenches” of living with ADHD. And why not? Why not try to inspire people to meet their challenges with positivity. Your eBooks generally seem to focus on sharing suggestions with people, of what may work for them when dealing with their own ADHD. And may I point out…one of your books is called “10 Things I Hate About ADHD”. That is not a title that anyone spewing unrelenting sunshine/unfairly positive realities would write. There are a few other sources out there that I feel DO spew some unrelenting/unrealistic positivity, but I’m not feeling that here.
You know how I roll: I think it is important for us to see whatever our situation is in total, in 3-D so that we CAN celebrate the positive attributes of our unique selves, AND can learn to adapt to our real challenges (in positive ways), not ignore them. And we do all have those challenges…one of the generally accepted criteria for diagnosing ADHD is impairment. (And even as a very high functioning ADHDer, boy-howdy do I have some impairments.)
In reading your post I kept thinking that in a way, ADHD is sort of beside the point. And there IS quantifiable evidence that positive thinking is pretty much beneficial to ALL people. Period. So…probably not the “quantifying” that you are being asked for…but it’s there. Hunt some of those articles down
It’s only probably one of the more established theories in modern psychology/psychiatry.
It’s like you’re being asked to equate religion and science. There’s all kinds of cans of worms there…not even going to touch most of them. But I will say this: personally I think religion is silly. Yes, it’s true, I do. Does that mean I’m going to tell other people it should be silly to them? No…because I don’t really care and it’s really none of my business, people turn to religion for all kinds of reasons, sometimes even just for a sense of community and that’s something I see as very positive. I might tell them why it doesn’t work for ME, but their journey is theirs to define. If religion is what will make the difference for them between being a better person or not, and whatever they are getting from it “works” for them? Then…right on for them.
It’s not really about whether ADHD is or is not a gift, but how we choose to deal with it–that’s what I think anyway. I think it’s silly to say it is ALL gift, and I think it is silly to say it is ALL doom, because clearly, neither of those labels is true.
No matter what the 3-D reality of ADHD is, or is for each of us individually, I prefer to try to choose to address it and move forward in my daily life with as positive a mind-set as I am able at that moment–even if some of the “facts” I’m staring at feel kinda discouraging or crappy. I’m certainly not going to sit around going “wow, I have a chronic, lifelong, likely neurobiological condition that kicks me in the butt, I think I’ll sit around and flog myself over it for the next 50 years”. No…I’m gonna go “crap, this is kicking me in the ass…but I still have to figure out what to do, I’m creative I’ll figure out a solution”. (Am I creative BECAUSE of ADHD? I don’t know, and really, I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. It just IS.)
I am always grateful for honest, hard facts about ADHD BECAUSE, they allows me to them choose positive solutions for dealing with it. Apples and oranges. If there’s one thing I have learned in grad school…pardon my academic geek moment here…it’s that there are a ton of great theories out there in the world. And none of them really mean anything until the rubber hits the road. I believe that one of MY ADHD strengths (not because this is a strength for everyone with ADHD, but impatience is one of the hallmarks of ADHD for me personally) is that my intellectual impatience pushes me to seek applications of those theories that I learn about in school. It puts me at odds with some of my more patient, theoretical classmates. But you know what? It makes me a wicked valuable team member for them when we’re in a group because they’re sitting there stuck in the theory and I’m going “damn guys, you know what we could DO with this?!” (sometimes blurting it out in a group discussion, lol). Can I scientifically prove that this is ADHD at work? NOPE. Do I care? NOPE. It’s a positive spin I choose to believe about my (likely) ADHD enhanced impatience, because it gets me through grad school. And I have a 3.8 (sorry, I struggled so much as an undergrad, before I learned to infuse my life with positive action, that I have to gloat a little about that at every possible juncture!).
Don’t worry Bryan, I know you’re not trying to blow unwarranted sunshine up my bum. I really appreciate your enthusiasm and positivity…AND your willingness to admit some of the ways in which ADHD challenges you and kicks you in the ass, which any regular reader knows (the McDonald’s door hitting you in the head…damn dude, that was painful to read…and on the positive side…hilarious? Or am I just a sadist?).
I love blogs/sources that insist on total fact and truth, because total fact and truth give me tools to understand my ADHD. I love blogs and sources that emphasize positive thinking (as long as they also acknowledge imperfections and challenges) because THAT is probably the most useful way to meet our very real challenges. There’s room for everyone! Why can’t we just get along!?
(Heehee…)
Oh Katy, you had to mention the McDonald’s post didn’t you!? Actually, that post is a perfect point in fact, because when it happened it was very painful and I may have said some nasty words (may have – mind you), but later when I sat down to write about it I found the humor in the situation and wrote from that perspective, so it’s okay if you laughed about it ‘with’ me. I didn’t get worked up and want to sue McDonald’s or cry foul – I wasn’t paying attention to opening the door properly, I klutzed up! That’s me and ADHD, but life went on and I now have a mark on my forehead which always reminds me to get something to eat on the way home! I want to write more about your creativity comment, but I don’t have time right this minute, but I am going to respond further to your comment soon
McDonald’s… hrmmmm
Katy, I was on the move yesterday, so didn’t have a chance to reply to some of your comment that I wanted to. I am also grateful to sites and books which provide the ‘facts’ and nothing but the ‘facts’ without opinionated leanings. However, with that said, there are sites which provide very good input into individual realities dealing with ADHD, such as yours, for example. If you would have met me about 12 years ago you would not have recognized me. Not from my looks, but rather from my attitude. I was very negative, all doom and gloom, because that’s the way life seemed to be treating me. Some of the negative things you may have read across the web may not hold a candle to how I felt and chastised myself. I didn’t know I had ADHD! I was very lucky to meet Dr. Gary my therapist. The thing about treating ADHD for a lot of us is that ADHD really can’t be the first thing treated, if it is, the anticipation of overcoming ADHD traits is so high that failure is imminent.
I think I was even luckier because I was diagnosed with inner conflict and depression first, by treating my state of mind with regards to my negative self image and beliefs first I was able to approach ADHD from another more positive point of view. Even so, it took years to get past the denial stage and some never get past it. Denial that my negative self image was my paramount problem, or that I was ‘negative’ and not just stating facts was very difficult for me to accept. Even worse, I had attracted people to me that kept me in my shell of self-defeat, they agreed with me, the accepted me and they gave me more ‘facts’ to back up my own self-defeating facts. I think there are a lot of people stuck in that type of atmosphere as I was and my blog is sometimes unintentionally directed at them, or, rather at myself from years past and I think it is working because my blog touches that ‘nerve’, or it seems to be and once the nerve is touched, the questions come, the denial starts to fight and sooner or later, one can hope, the light starts to turn on a bit. I had my nerve touched by Dr. Gary the first year plenty of times, and wanted to stop the visits, but something inside me told me that he was right and I started taking inventory of the things I said, the people I attracted and my surroundings as a whole.
I don’t know if creativity is a trait of ADHD in of itself; however, I do believe it is a byproduct of the ADHD mind, how we are distracted and daydream or fall into the void. The mind is always working, whether we are aware of it or not, we come up with some things others would never dream of simply because we do think differently, we are not attracted to the same things and we daydream about random things around us all the time…. Oh look at that… something no one else might take notice of…
B.
Bryan,
I like your discussion of both the benefits and limitations of science as far as ADHD is concerned, as well as what you write about the effects of positive and negative thinking.
I agree that it is not what happens TO us in life that matters, but rather how we respond to it. This concept imbues us with a great deal of personality responsibility for the subsequent choices we make, our resulting behaviors (including our thoughts), and the way we live overall. While the word “responsibility” could be seen as negative, responsibility isn’t “bad.” It just means that we’re taking charge of our lives. Taking personal responsibility empowers us to live our lives as fully as possible and for the greatest good, to reap the consequences (“good” or “bad”) of our actions. Just my opinion.
You ask, “Who has the right to try to take one’s positive, enabling perspective away from them?” I wonder why it is that some people TRY to do so? Though I have some ideas on this, I’d like to hear what other folks have to say.
The complexity of your post made me think. thanks!
Hi Jacquelyn,
Yes, I agree, sometimes it seems that personal responsibility is like a curse word; however, we all eventually become adults and must earn a living and hopefully get along with others. That’s just the way it is. That doesn’t mean it is easy, but that’s part of the detriment of living with ADHD.
Unfortunately, I think some people TRY in order to feel better about themselves, none of us want to feel as though we are alone. Life is much about companionships… perhaps?
Bryan
I see what you are saying…depression can be really awful.
Me…I’ll chew my own legs off with a smile on my face…which carries its own perils.
But I can see that for those who for whatever reason, find themselves on a darker path…finding the light to lead them forward is even more important…
Katy! Dont’ chew your leg off!
I agree that science has helped us with ADD. The problem is that there are not enough people in the medical field that belives it exists, which is sad. Some Dr’s I have seen in the last few months see on my records that I have ADD and the meds I take and the Dr’s think I am crazy and tell me I am under stress or any pain I have is fibromyalgia. I tested 5 Dr’s and the ones that had no idea of my ADD did tests and believed I had a probelm the Dr’s that did know I had ADD, treated me like an idiot and said here is another antidepressent. I talked to my counselor about this yesterday and she agrees that many Dr’s do look at ADD as crazy people and think their problems are in their head.
Now all you here is that Autism is growing as fast rates. No it is just that Dr’s are finally testing for it.
You article s great and wish everything on paper meant that it can be used…
Makes you think……Keep them coming because that is how people will become more aware…
Yes, Mindy, I agree, it is heartbreaking when your doctor does not believe ADHD exists or that it is a problem at all. I think we are moving out of the dark ages though and awareness is spreading. Yes, autism awareness is growing thanks to our president; however, so is ADHD awareness. Dr. Parker is currently writing a book about ADHD medication that will help both the patient and doctors better treat you and me.
Thanks for commenting.
Bryan
Bryan,
I have to agree with you, on the subject of ..positive thinking. And the importance of not letting science dictate how I personaly deal with A.D.D..
I am now trying to convince myself, that A.D.D./ADHD, did not control me and give me “gifts” as a child. I go back and forth in my mind, on this subject. And state things, that I am not sure about, but I think are proof.
I am still learning, and I need to slow down, and not judge others, but learn what others think about themselves. I will take this post as a step foward for me… in my journey.
Thank You for this Bryan, You have helped me today!
Hi Scott,
The whole ‘gifts’ thing has gotten way out of context and isn’t really a debate anymore, because, really, few know what is being described as ‘GIFT’ anymore. Whatever you see as a gift to you, is a gift to you and it doesn’t matter if someone agrees with you or not, that’s irrelevant. The symptoms and traits still should be treated for what they are.
Good to hear from you and I very much enjoyed your blog post on your blog btw!
Bryan
It’s been a month and a half that someone mentioned that my son could have ADD. Everyone who’s known him from his birth expected him to be excellent at school, the best of all kids. And he isn’t. He is 7.
Nowadays I’m strugging against everyone’s opinion. Just to mention a few: the psychologist tested him “slow”, his teacher says he is audacious, my family says he has traumas because of his drinking father’s behaviour (it’s my fault I didn’t divorce him on time), my friends say he is manipulative, i.e. attention seeker.
The reality is: He radiates brightness; he is excellent in two languages, he is learning English as his third because he loves it; he can express his opinions, conclusions and feelings as an adult; he might have traumas (which could be my fault because I didn’t divorce earlier) and he is not manipulative at all. He’s got ADD.
Do you believe me at least? I know you do and I thank you for that.
I’m reading your posts, recognising many things and feel great relief.
Regards to all, Bozana
Yes, of course I believe you Bozana! First, don’t blame yourself for an abusive husband/father, that never helps. You’re out of the relationship now and you cannot change the past, that’s what I think on that. Also, it’s important as a mother/parent to believe in your child and see the positives, that will help him much… even so, what will also help him, I believe, additionally is to listen to the professionals which are around your son in his learning atmosphere and find out exactly what can be done to improve those situations so that your son can have the best chance of gaining a good education and not feel ‘less than’ others. I wouldn’t say that you must give in in to every suggestion; however, taking a 3rd person perspective and trying to see the situation from their standpoint as well, may give you additional insight that you might not have as a protective, loving mother, that you are… trauma is tricky and kids have a way of disguising it, trust me, I know this well from personal experience. If just one person noticed such, it might be easier to dismiss; however, you are indicating that others are noticing it too, that should raise a few warning bells to at least seek further testing or counseling… thanks for commenting and I hope to see you on our ADDer World Social Network… remember, these are just my thoughts, from my personal experiences, it is always best if you find a good reliable, trustworthy professional physician in your area to do the proper examinations and possible treatment.
Bryan
Bozana,
Bryan is giving you very good advise, and I agree with all of it! Bryan said he speaks from personal experiences. I can tell you, from my own…I can remember many things from my own childhood, and the way I thought about things.
I am 48 now, but I still have the same thoughts I did when I was 7, and the way I looked at life, and tried to cope with life. It would have been so much better(Ibeleive), if ADHD was being looked at by Dr.’s, and taken seriously in the 60’s.
I wish you and your son the best of luck, in finding the right Dr.’s, that are now taking ADHD and the reality of it seriously. They are out there, but some still live in the 60’s, and are not facing reality.
I promise you, your son will remember the good things, that a good Dr. helps him with, 31 yrs from now.
Scott.
Dear Bryan, Scott and all,
Evan if the whole world denied existence of ADD/ADHD I would believe that there is a disorder like that.
Because my son (and all of you) are TOO SMART TO BE DUMB. Yet, my son doesn’t perform at school.
Whatever I read, all your posts, description of the symptoms in wikipedia, etc. every word applies. He’s got ADD.
I now realise that there are 2 cases in the family of people who have ADHD. They don’t know it.
My nephew was thankfull when I mentioned ADHD as the possible reason for the “failures in his life”. He said he would make an appointment to check it.
I soon have an appointment at the ADHD Centre in Rotterdam and they will tell me what their medical opinion is.
So far I know that they consider my son ADD/ADHD. I know him well, he is ADD but he is bored and restless when he is being tested and he looks like ADHD.
At home and at school he is obedient and easy to deal with.
I am definitely keeping an open mind for advice, especially from people on this website.
Thank you for considering me a good mom. I probably am. I love my son and it breaks my heart to see him being bullied and called names by other kids who are less smart than him.
Even if we disregard intelligence as the most important thing in life, my son has compassion and he is trying hard not to hurt people and animals. He is full of love and I’m proud of him for that reason.
I am also thankful for the new age technology and that I can now communicate with all of you who are so far away.
Regards,
Bozana, The Hague, Holland
Hi Bozana, seems to me you are taking the right steps. Not all people with ADHD fail in school, some excel, taking advantage of the regulated atmosphere and let me tell you, classes in Holland are far more controlled and regulated than in the USA… ya’ll are far stricter with behavior, but it doesn’t change much from class to class, it’s fairly equal and that, I think, helps. It is also something parents are aware of before the child starts school and isn’t abusive in any way or fashion, unless there is an exception and that is usually dealt with quickly. This type of atmosphere is something which is desperately lacking in the states and is usually only available in private schools, which are rather expensive.
Btw: my mother lives not too far from you; she’s a native of the Utrecht area. We just visited Holland over the summer, probably will again next month.