Comments on: Top Ten 10 Do and Don’t with your ADD ADHD partner http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/11/08/top-ten-10-do-and-don%e2%80%99ts-with-your-add-adhd-partner/ Bryan Hutchinson's thoughts about ADD ADHD Attention Deficit Disorder and other stuff Sat, 11 Feb 2012 18:44:35 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: Bryan Hutchinson http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/11/08/top-ten-10-do-and-don%e2%80%99ts-with-your-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-94953 Bryan Hutchinson Mon, 03 Oct 2011 03:19:37 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2798#comment-94953 Hi Sophia, you're correct, it takes two to tango! However, this post is clearly one sided, and it is meant to be. There are more than enough articles and posts about the other side of the coin. I am not sure what you mean by 'proven'? Bests, Bryan Hi Sophia, you’re correct, it takes two to tango! However, this post is clearly one sided, and it is meant to be. There are more than enough articles and posts about the other side of the coin. I am not sure what you mean by ‘proven’?

Bests,

Bryan

]]> By: Sophia http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/11/08/top-ten-10-do-and-don%e2%80%99ts-with-your-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-94560 Sophia Sun, 02 Oct 2011 14:49:46 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2798#comment-94560 this sounded like a post that put a lot of musts on the one side... sometimes I think that some people with adhd have become a liiiiitle too focused on that people must accept all kinds of things from them.... I don't buy that. It has been proven, that when there are dire consequences f ex, adhd come on time... so... the truth is somewhere in between... this sounded like a post that put a lot of musts on the one side… sometimes I think that some people with adhd have become a liiiiitle too focused on that people must accept all kinds of things from them…. I don’t buy that. It has been proven, that when there are dire consequences f ex, adhd come on time… so… the truth is somewhere in between…

]]> By: joe http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/11/08/top-ten-10-do-and-don%e2%80%99ts-with-your-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-31864 joe Tue, 26 Jan 2010 16:10:18 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2798#comment-31864 THANKS, unfortunately, writing in English is not easy for me. But - it has been helpful, GREAT. Thanks again, Joe THANKS,
unfortunately, writing in English is not easy for me. But – it has been helpful, GREAT.
Thanks again,
Joe

]]> By: Bryan Hutchinson http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/11/08/top-ten-10-do-and-don%e2%80%99ts-with-your-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-28655 Bryan Hutchinson Fri, 13 Nov 2009 12:23:47 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2798#comment-28655 <p>Oh my Riri, aren't you a rare treat ;-) </p> <p>At first, I was thinking how in the world, but something you wrote reminded me when I worked in my father's restaurant and he taught me how to properly wash the glasses, how to get them to sparkle and free of any smudges or soap stains etc... I became so focused on making them as clean as possible that it would take me forever to finish them, but I do remember enjoying the process... oh why did you have to remind me of this??? lol</p> <p>Thanks Riri!</p> <p>Bryan</p> Oh my Riri, aren’t you a rare treat ;-)

At first, I was thinking how in the world, but something you wrote reminded me when I worked in my father’s restaurant and he taught me how to properly wash the glasses, how to get them to sparkle and free of any smudges or soap stains etc… I became so focused on making them as clean as possible that it would take me forever to finish them, but I do remember enjoying the process… oh why did you have to remind me of this??? lol

Thanks Riri!

Bryan

]]> By: Riri http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/11/08/top-ten-10-do-and-don%e2%80%99ts-with-your-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-28652 Riri Fri, 13 Nov 2009 10:19:47 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2798#comment-28652 Bryan,I like washing dishes; in fact, I can hyperfocus while doing it. But off course, I do it in a true ADDer fashion, meaning it takes longer than the normal time for cleaning because I like to closely observe if they are grease-free, clean, and shiny. Once my housekeeper (I have two at home, btw) was so impatient to see me doing the dishes until she took over the job and told me to just relax. So, for the 'do' list, I would modify a bit as follows:"If she likes washing dishes, let her do it at her own time and fashion, unless there is a matter of life and death interferes. And if you think she can hyperfocus more when doing dishes than when having your intimate moment, don't be discouraged. It's not you, it's her. Seriously. After all, sharing such moment  never equals to washing dishes and you are not a greasy, dirty plate." Bryan,I like washing dishes; in fact, I can hyperfocus while doing it. But off course, I do it in a true ADDer fashion, meaning it takes longer than the normal time for cleaning because I like to closely observe if they are grease-free, clean, and shiny. Once my housekeeper (I have two at home, btw) was so impatient to see me doing the dishes until she took over the job and told me to just relax. So, for the ‘do’ list, I would modify a bit as follows:”If she likes washing dishes, let her do it at her own time and fashion, unless there is a matter of life and death interferes. And if you think she can hyperfocus more when doing dishes than when having your intimate moment, don’t be discouraged. It’s not you, it’s her. Seriously. After all, sharing such moment  never equals to washing dishes and you are not a greasy, dirty plate.”

]]> By: uberVU - social comments http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/11/08/top-ten-10-do-and-don%e2%80%99ts-with-your-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-28581 uberVU - social comments Wed, 11 Nov 2009 22:44:57 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2798#comment-28581 <strong>Social comments and analytics for this post...</strong> This post was mentioned on Twitter by RogerMacRae: Top Ten 10 Do and Don't with your ADD ADHD partner | ADDER WORLD ... http://bit.ly/2V8d0H... Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by RogerMacRae: Top Ten 10 Do and Don’t with your ADD ADHD partner | ADDER WORLD … http://bit.ly/2V8d0H...

]]> By: Bryan Hutchinson http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/11/08/top-ten-10-do-and-don%e2%80%99ts-with-your-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-28578 Bryan Hutchinson Wed, 11 Nov 2009 21:11:52 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2798#comment-28578 <p><span style="LINE-HEIGHT: 115%; FONT-FAMILY: 'Calibri', 'sans-serif'; FONT-SIZE: 11pt; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA"><font face=Calibri>Inwardsea, I am sorry to hear that you are getting divorced. Having been through divorce myself, I know it is not an easy thing. With that said, the assertion that we know right from wrong, is mostly correct, as I see it; however, the assertion that we should be better able to control it isn't a fair remark and an obvious lack of understanding of what ADHD ADD is and how it affects us - yes, indeed with treatment we can improve and succeed, heck even overachieve in some cases, but ultimately we still have a lot to work with and overcome day in and day out AND this has nothing to do with taking responsibility or control, as in my latest post If we could fully control ADHD well, then we wouldn't have it, now would we? <br /><br />I feel you and hope this goes as smoothly as possible for both of you. My thoughts are with you!</font></span></p> Inwardsea, I am sorry to hear that you are getting divorced. Having been through divorce myself, I know it is not an easy thing. With that said, the assertion that we know right from wrong, is mostly correct, as I see it; however, the assertion that we should be better able to control it isn’t a fair remark and an obvious lack of understanding of what ADHD ADD is and how it affects us – yes, indeed with treatment we can improve and succeed, heck even overachieve in some cases, but ultimately we still have a lot to work with and overcome day in and day out AND this has nothing to do with taking responsibility or control, as in my latest post If we could fully control ADHD well, then we wouldn’t have it, now would we?

I feel you and hope this goes as smoothly as possible for both of you. My thoughts are with you!

]]> By: InwardSea http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/11/08/top-ten-10-do-and-don%e2%80%99ts-with-your-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-28566 InwardSea Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:42:43 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2798#comment-28566 I sent this to my spouse. A couple of days later I asked her what she thought of this post and she said she agreed with some of it but felt the rest of the reasons were nothing more than cop-outs for irresponsible behavior, because "You're all adults who should know right from wrong, so you should work harder to stop the behavior." She also told me recently she no longer finds it possible to stay in a relationship with an ADD person. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to the divorce. I sent this to my spouse. A couple of days later I asked her what she thought of this post and she said she agreed with some of it but felt the rest of the reasons were nothing more than cop-outs for irresponsible behavior, because “You’re all adults who should know right from wrong, so you should work harder to stop the behavior.” She also told me recently she no longer finds it possible to stay in a relationship with an ADD person. Needless to say, I’m looking forward to the divorce.

]]> By: Bryan Hutchinson http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/11/08/top-ten-10-do-and-don%e2%80%99ts-with-your-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-28506 Bryan Hutchinson Tue, 10 Nov 2009 06:40:17 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2798#comment-28506 <p>You mentioned something, Dana, which I often need and that is time alone to regroup and think things through without interruption. A nice long walk through the park or the woods always does the trick. However, I must admit since I have been with Joan I need far less time alone as we have very good communication where we can talk about things while building each other up and comparing experiences. Her experiences interest me as much as my own and, quite honestly, I haven't had that before... Now to work on the other list Patrick asked for :)</p> <p>Bryan<br /></p> You mentioned something, Dana, which I often need and that is time alone to regroup and think things through without interruption. A nice long walk through the park or the woods always does the trick. However, I must admit since I have been with Joan I need far less time alone as we have very good communication where we can talk about things while building each other up and comparing experiences. Her experiences interest me as much as my own and, quite honestly, I haven’t had that before… Now to work on the other list Patrick asked for :)

Bryan

]]> By: Bryan Hutchinson http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2009/11/08/top-ten-10-do-and-don%e2%80%99ts-with-your-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-28505 Bryan Hutchinson Tue, 10 Nov 2009 06:34:05 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/?p=2798#comment-28505 <p>Hi Katy, didn't seem like you were dismissing such :twisted: we know full well how difficult we can be at times :cool: </p> Hi Katy, didn’t seem like you were dismissing such :twisted: we know full well how difficult we can be at times :cool:

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