You are so correct…how can you even master something you can’t even really comprehend, something you can’t even experience because you can’t even slow down enough.When I started taking meds I started to see things that I literally never knew existed, and it still happens from time to time.  Now I know these other layers of life exist…and they’re still boring sometimes, and I have to learn to deal with all this “new” stuff I’m seeing, but I’m glad I’m seeing it. 

The meds can’t fix you, they can only help you see things differently so that you can make different choices (okay, and sometimes they make me so focused that even if I’m thinking something is dullsville I can crank at it a little longer). 

I’m still learning how to make those different choices, and I’m grateful for the chance, but seriously…sometimes things are just boring.I guess a good therapist can also help you start to see things differently too.  I’m just glad that mine doesn’t laugh at me when I have ridiculous meltdowns in her office about things like using timers…haha…those lil’ buggers put me over the edge…she told me I didn’t have to use them if I didn’t want to, and could find a better way to stay on task

Can totally relate about the pool analogy Bryan…grew up playing the piano, playing in competitions.  I could play anything by ear, it was easy, and I was good at it.  But played for eleven years and still can’t sight read.  Talk about missing the fundamentals…it was SO HARD, it was like I would try to do it and I couldn’t hold the whole process in my mind still long enough to even do it…but play me a sonata and I could play it back to you…I was functionally illiterate.  I would only have been able to succeed up to a certain point…right about the point that I stopped playing, because the pieces were too complex to learn that way….