There’s a certain question or group of questions which are basically the same that I get asked time and time again. The questions are: “What would you tell your younger self if you could go back in time?” – “What message do you have for the youth today suffering from ADHD?” – “What’s the one thing you would tell a student that would help them achieve academic success…?” And many more, but in the end the answers I give relate to all young people with ADHD, regardless of how the question is phrased:
1) Do not rely on trial and error alone.
The typical fashion young people with ADHD learn is through trial and error. I believe there are trust issues involved and of course, not wanting to be hurt or to fail in the face of others or self. I pull from my own experiences in “One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir” and explain how I did not want to learn from others, how I refused advice and mentorships simply because I thought I could ‘learn it or get it’ on my own. This is the #1 mistake, in my opinion, too many of our youth make. There’s nothing in this world so new that it has not been experienced in one way or another in the past, and with those past experiences are valuable lessons learned.
Here’s the (my) ADDer’s first rule:
Never pass up sage advice!
Not all advice will work for or with everyone and not all advice is perfect, but to refuse advice in an effort to learn it as we go is just plain hazardous and delays learning curves by years, sometimes decades, and so much can be and has been lost in that time of ‘trial and error’. Remember, you can never get the time you lose back. Time gone is time gone! We may believe that we will feel better or be better for learning it the long, hard way, but the mistakes made during that process can be extremely costly: Lost relationships, lost jobs, lost health, lost money and lost youth! That’s just to name a few things.
- Learn all you can about ADHD.
- Seek mentorships, coaches and teachers.
- Talk to people who have been there and done that.
- Even if you think you know the answer, listen anyway, take notes and continue listening.
- Be accepting of support. Accepting support today may give you powerful strength and knowledge for when you are on your own later.
Got some tips or suggestions for young folks with ADHD? Feel free to share ’em with us.
~Bryan
