I still remember the very first time I thought I was in love. I did not yet know what love was, but going back in my mind, journeying back all those years to when I was just a very young boy, I know now that it sure felt like love to me. I was in love with her from the first moment I saw her. She was a princess. She was a kind of supergirl. I was crazy for her and I was going crazy in my mind about her, but I never mentioned it to her. As a matter of fact I admired her from afar and avoided close contact with her at all costs.
Somehow, as a young boy, a young teen and a young adult I always knew I was head over heels for a beautiful maiden when I was too afraid to say hello to her. Okay, the beating in my heart and the infatuation in my mind was a sure sign too, but the tipping point was the fact I could not say hello to my heart’s target without stuttering or making some kind of fool of myself. Whenever my heart locked onto some stunning princess, I would build her up in my mind until I truly believed she was a real life princess. From that point on I would avoid her as if she would burn me to a crisp if we spoke words to each other.
It was insanity to think I loved someone and then avoid them at all costs. I was an odd young boy to say the least. Given what I know now, I tend to think my disposition was something more than just bashfulness and insecurity. It was undiagnosed ADD at play. My mind loves to pick the absolutely most impossible and difficult task it can find and then present it to me the way a cat is taunted by a butterfly. I realize now that I did not feel confident in pursuing what my mind presented to me. However, my ADD mind knew something that I had yet to realize and it wouldn’t be until my adult years that I figured it out.
I have come to learn that what my mind presents to me is possible. That was something very difficult to learn and accept, but it is true. This is something I believe we all come to realize at the right times and places in our lives, but I also think it can pass us by time and time again, if we do not overcome our inner doubts.
If I dream it, I can achieve it.
If my ADD mind directs me, I will pay attention to it.
We can learn, after all.
It’s true and I have proven this to myself time and time again. It’s a remarkable reality. A reality I think we all can experience. As they say, you will never find love if you are not willing to risk heartbreak. Thus is life.
There came a time when my mind presented before me the most beautiful woman ever, a true to life supergirl. I could have done as my younger self would have, which would have been to adore her from afar and not ask her to have a cup of coffee with me. Trust me, this woman is beautiful beyond measure and she is extremely intelligent, brilliant in fact, more than a few steps out of my league I would have once believed. And today we celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary.
Sometimes I think my ADD mind has a special purpose and it has not only helped me find my love, my muse, my most loving, tender and caring wife, but also helped me find my very best friend. Ah, a brilliant reality my ADD mind has presented to me, indeed.
(P.S. If you read this before you get home, could you please send me a text reminding me where I put my car keys last night? Kisses!)