Beyond Tired
I’m tired.
It is 3am as I write this and I am still awake. Well, yes, I’d have to be in order to be writing this. But here’s the thing, I went to bed at 10pm. It was a respectable time and I was already very tired.
As usual, after I slipped under the warm covers I randomly chose a book from my nightstand. There’s plenty there, a large pile actually. (I cleared the clutter from my desk. I never promised myself to do the same thing for my nightstand.)
Reading a book at night puts me to sleep, unless it is extremely good and if that’s the case I can become so hyper-focused that I keep reading until it’s too late (or early) to get any sleep at all.
3 potty breaks, 4 water breaks and a piece of pie later and I am still awake. Yes, pie. Apple if you want to know.
Anyway, let me try to make some sense at this strange, dark hour.
Oh, if there are ghosts in my home this would be the time to present themselves. I’d rather they didn’t, but I could have sworn I heard a noise over near the TV. I spook easy. Goose bumps are on my arms. Seriously. Who’s there?
Making Sense
This won’t become a blog post, unless I want to laugh at myself, or cry. Probably cry. People will read this and realize how odd I can be. Very.
Okay, let’s try and make a point. Don’t read when trying to fall asleep? No. That’s my routine and it usually works. How about don’t read a very good book when trying to fall asleep? That’s not the answer either.
Let’s try: don’t drink coffee at 9pm while on the phone talking to a friend who is on the other side of the world also drinking coffee but at a much earlier hour.
Now we are on to something.
Since coffee is a stimulant I should have thought better of drinking it at such a late hour, especially an hour before bedtime.
I am still not sleepy. Tired doesn’t equal sleepy. Totally not fair.
Positive Twist at 4:30am
OMG! It’s 4:30am. (Did it really take me an hour and a half to write this so far?)
It won’t be long before Joan wakes up. She’ll make coffee. It will smell great. I’ll drink some and I won’t go back to bed at all. Predictable. So I have a choice to make.
I will turn this insomnia around into a positive by being an awesome husband and make the coffee for her! She’ll love that. She’s easy to make happy.
Don’t let this fool you I really do hate it when I can’t sleep. And it happens more often than I care to admit right now. Tomorrow is going to be long and drawn out, I truly hope I go to bed early. I’m Hopeful, but it’s doubtful. This ADHD boy hates going to bed early.
Moral and Tips
I want to come up with a moral for this post. Easy. No stimulants for Bryan after 6pm, even if it is delicious coffee.
Tips to overcome insomnia:
No caffeinated beverages after 6pm (my epic fail). - Instead try herbal teas. I enjoy chamomile with a little bit of honey. There are also some good mixes you can find like Bedtime or Honey Lavender Stress Relief, both are made by Yogi. (I have no affiliation.) I’d love to know your favorite nighttime tea (share in the comments).
- Eat a decent, healthy midday meal and a much lighter meal for dinner and try not to snack too close to bedtime. (Pie at midnight is probably a bad idea.)
- There are times when I can’t sleep because I am worried about something. Often I don’t even know what I am worried about (PTSD). So I Keep a notebook and pen on my nightstand for when I need to write my worries away. Sometimes I fall asleep while writing and find my notebook on the floor the next morning. I’ve noticed I have fewer nightmares when I’ve written in the notebook.
- Ask your doctor about OTC supplement sleeping aids such as Melatonin and Neurexan.
- Take naps. Napping on a regular basis helps sleeping at night.
- A bedroom designed for sleeping. I think this is where a lot of us with ADHD may have an issue because it is important for the bedroom to be rest oriented. Clutter and too much light can make it difficult to sleep. (It’s time for me to resolve the piles of books on my nightstand!)
- Make sure your bed is also sleep oriented by being comfortable, clean and yes, clear of clutter. (Don’t look at me like that!)
- Punt! When nothing works stay up all night and pray that you’ll at least nap.
- If PTSD is part of the problem, as it has been for me, professional CB therapy may be the only long term solution. If ADHD is the main issue, then learning relaxation techniques, maintaining a regular bed time schedule (good luck) and avoiding medication in the late afternoon should he helpful.
If you suffer from frequent insomnia you may need to seek help from a sleep specialist. Seriously, insomnia is no laughing matter and seeking professional, qualified help isn’t something to be ashamed of.
Okay, time for me to make coffee!
Have you experienced insomnia? What’s works for you? Comment and let us know.
Bryan
{ 38 comments… read them below or add one }
I experience insomnia alllllll the time! For years n years n years, it was every single day! Then had mianserin for it that helped by my doctor. Then my psychiatrist took me off of em, then put me on adhd meds, insomnia kicked back, after a few good months of sleeping! Am now gettin melantonin, but they aren’t working as great as the other stuff… and I’m currently only on Cymbalta, for then afterwards to try dexamfetamine. I’m difficult to medicate!
But Insomnia is horrible! Your body and eyes are physically tired…. Like you wanna drop dead. But everything is restless and continues going. As little as no books, no nothing before bedtime, it appears! And nothing to do about it!
It happened as late as yesterday night. And couldn’t even nap!!! As much tired as I was! Its insane! Luckily I got a good night sleep last night!!! But I got no good solutions, as I haven’t found one that helped me yet! 
Hello Maria, hopefully some of the tips from comments and in the post may be of help. Sorry to hear that your having such a difficult time. I am glad you were able to sleep last night!
It doesnt sadly, Im so punctual (try so hard!) and don’t tend to do many nono’s before bedtime or during bedtime. The insomnia appears, even after Ive fallen asleep. If I get woken up (which I do, cause I have a daughter!) then, it happens, that I just cant fall back to sleep… Sometimes I may be able to nap, but somtimes its like your so tired, after no sleep, but that a nap doesnt even happen! I dont get it! And melatonin doesnt seem to do the trick either!!
I have ADD and anxiety issues as well as PTSD. I wrestled with insomnia from childhood, and felt literally crazy and strung out all the time. Finally as an adult, I have succcumbed to meds designed for anxiety which I only take before bedtime. Depending upon my anxiety level – I take a combo of Hdroxyzine, Trazadone and Remeron. I feel so wonderfully rested now that the symptoms of the other issues are greatly reduced. Even when I am completely dog tired and feel I will drop from exhaustion. I take the meds. Otherwise, I awaken in the middle of the night anyway. The difference with induced rest is incredible!! However, I cut off the caffeine at 4:00 p.m. as sometimes even the meds don’t work effectively….
Jo–Thanks so much for sharing your experience with meds. In about a month, I’m going to be traveling to Atlanta to embark on a 6-week crash fitness course with my closest friend (and one of my goals is to work on my sleep hygiene (the things Bryan mentioned above)); however, if this doesn’t help, I’ve decided that I will go back to my shrink and insist that we explore various med options for my chronic insomnia. This same friend’s experience with meds is worth relating….she’s been taking a very small dose of Ativan for sleep for about 10 years and has yet to develop a tolerance. BTW, I’m also a lifelong insomniac…my mother still talks about how frustrated she was that she could not get me to sleep when I was a toddler (and I’m more of an ADDer than an AD/HDer)!
Indeed, Jo. I know there are some people who can drink no caffeinated beverages at all. I tried Trazadone a while back when I was having a very difficult time sleeping and it always made me feel as though I had a hangover the next morning and I rarely drink, practically never.
Change your habits as you age, for your natural sleep patterns will be changing on their own.
Latest evidence suggests that sleeping 8 hours straight is not as effective as sleeping a few hours, awakening, use those next few hours to think about things. Then sleep the remaining five or six.
I find that I can no longer tolerate caffeine after 12:00 noon.
Sleeping on my stomach or side works a whole lot better than sleeping on my back.
Same with me, Jay – I sleep better on my stomach or on my side. I cannot sleep on my back. Actually, it may seem simple but you’re on to something with your comment because I read books while on my back!
good post and good tips. may i add?
no alcohol after 8 pm (assuming you go to be at 10 or 11)
if you cant sleep, get up after 20 minutes until you are sleepy. nothing will keep you awake more than lying there trying to sleep – it is torture
stretch before bed
naps help some people but are awful for some, have to figure out your own pattern.
I agree, Doug, each person must figure out their own pattern. What works for me may not work for you, I guess that’s why there are so many tips to be found. I discovered when I nap on a regular basis for around 30mins I sleep much better at night, but when I nap only every now and again, that messes up my sleep at night. With my schedule it is very difficult to get a decent night’s sleep.
Oh, my goodness! At my house, my kids and myself have sleep issues. We know what we SHOULD do, but don’t always follow through! My daughter is 17 and my son is 14. Practically any night at any time, someone is awake! We have all tried a variety of meds, both OTC and prescription. It is really hard to send the kids to school after several nights of bad sleep. They are just zombies. So, sleep is a HUGE issue at our house! Thanks for writing about it, Bryan!
You’re welcome, Lori! I think one of the most difficult aspects of ADHD is maintaining a regular schedule. If I am impulsive in the later evening to get involved in something there is no telling when I will stop.
I have some interesting sleep issues. I don’t have “Restless Leg Syndrome”, I have “Periodic Limb Movements”; similar, but not quite. The other fun part is having anxiety issues about whether or not you can get up in the morning on time, and you end up not being able to go to sleep right away.
As for something to help you sleep (remember, we are good at giving advice, not following it ourselves… lol), Celestial Seasonings make a nice tea called ‘Sleepytime’. It has chamomile AND catnip. Yes, I said catnip. It has just the opposite effect on us as it does on our feline friends. Just go to CelestialSeasonings.com. I don’t work for them, they just have very good teas.
Hi Bob, I do have RLS, but surprisingly it doesn’t really bother my sleeping (yet). True about the anxiety, I can relate! Catnip… hmmmm, I’ll have to check it out!
I’m sorry, I misspoke. ‘Sleepytime’ doesn’t have catnip in it, ‘Tension Tamer’ does, which, btw, is another great tasting tea.
As for my PLM, I twitch in my sleep, sometimes to the point of kicking my other half. Thankfully, she doesn’t take it personally!
Oh, I’ve done that with RLS, Bob! Joan sometimes constructs a blanket wall between us when I am doing it in my sleep. oops. Same as with your wife, thankfully she doesn’t take it personally. We are lucky. “Tension Tamer” sounds good as well. Thanks for sharing!
Going to sleep, staying asleep or trouble getting up in the morning are all typical co-existing conditions with ADHD. I’ve readstatistics from 50% to 90% to attending lectures with doctors who say 99% of ADHD people have “some” type of issue with sleep.
Alas, like all things ADHD, no one answer works for everyone. For example, it’s often suggested by some ADHD expert doctors in person, lectures or in books that a small dose of stimulant medication, usually a half dose, of a short acting stimulant be taken around bedtime. And I’ve heard people swear by it while others, like myself are so sensitive to stimulants I can’t even take the smallest dose of stimulant meds without overdoing it so that doesn’t work for me.
It’s an issue because of our individual metabolism and neurobiology and perhaps other biological factors we aren’t even aware of. Like advice about the common cold, everyone has an opinion. In a forum like this the best advice I can give is to ask a competent doctor about it, be your own advocate and seek answers that work for you.
Be careful before assuming what works for someone else is going to work for you. But basic “sleep hygiene” is good for the most part, except that stimulant trick perhaps. In general terms the most obvious things work for most. Have a “go to be routine” and allow for transition time from activity to sleep.
Stick to as regular a schedule as best you can with a set bedtime seven days a week. Your bedtime is more important than waking for focus because it’s so easy for “us” to keep activating ourselves with one shiny object after the other. Even stretching, (mild hath yoga poses) releases hormones that relieve stress and enhance relaxation.
Also, it takes more energy than you would believe to digest food. Avoid eating at least 3 or 4 hours before bedtime. The ideas about tea, or melatonin, or avoiding caffeine late in the day if it affects you are good. For others, caffeine may be that small stimulant to help them focus on sleeping instead of ruminating thoughts. It’s a custom job, and for some, it may never get easy.
Some of us have 25 hour biological clocks and tend to stay up later every night, get up later every morning and unless reset, we rotate around the clock until we are going to bed at dawn! Even getting off routine one day for these people can disrupt their sleep for weeks before they get back to being able to sync with the rest of the waking world.
Thirty minutes before bed avoid bright light, television and electronics. Reading a boring magazine does allow eye movement which can help with taking away some of the need for activity and helps some but as Bryan said, if it’s exciting put it down and find something else.
There is no “right” answer. But there are a few “wrong” ones so give your body a chance to rest with tips that work for you best while avoiding the big mistake of huge meal, coming home from the dance and imagining you are going to get a good night’s sleep.
Good tips, Glen. And again, right, what works for one person may not work for another, that’s why they are only “tips” each person must try different things and hopefully find something that works or see a specialist.
I’ll be the firsy to admit I have lousy sleep hygiene, so i do this a lot. Books engross me and POOF it’s the wee hrs. Lately I’ve struggled with staying asleep due to my 5yo’s frequent insomnia landing her in my bed in those same wee hours. A good friend witb special needs kids turned me on to the idea of a weighted blanket for my dear daughter -there is science that shows these blankets can help woth more restful sleep for those with sensory issuez and neurological disorders, and though my daightet isnt diagnosed she displays a LOT of my ADD traits (oh, paybacks..) We started usi.g it last week and she falls asleep much more readily and stays asleep longer. So much so, I’m going to ask my friend to male one for ME!!
Very interesting, Erica!!
Erica, Celestial Seasonings now has ‘Sleepytime Kids Goodnight Grape Herbal Tea’. It’s on their website.
As for the blanket, you might also try a tight night shirt and pants as well. Believe it or not, pet stores sell a product called a ‘Thundershirt’. They make them for dogs and cats. It’s based on the technique of applying constant pressure to autistic children to help relieve anxiety.
I love that you turned your insomnia into an opportunity to do something else (like make coffee for Joan!). I work shift work on top of managing a family, so now when I get into bed and can’t sleep I think to myself “Yay! I get x amount of hours for uninterrupted daydreaming!” Which is awesome, because I don’t get any uninterrupted thinking time during my waking hours these days. As luck would have it, when I embrace it with open arms, I usually fall asleep much quicker than I anticipate.
I’ve worked with many an insomnia sufferer over the years and two things I always suggest are: 1) lying there and resting, even if not sleeping, is still repairative rest for your body and 2) most people do get some sleep, even if it doesn’t feel like it – so try not to worry too much about it!
Great point, Andrea: “try not to worry too much about it” BTW love your blog and love your writing style. I came across it before shortly, but spent more time reading some of your articles this morning. You are quite the talented writer! I have bookmarked it so I will visit more often!
It’s 3 am and although exhausted I am nowhere close to falling asleep. Insomnia and ADHD run in my family and I have anxiety and mild OCD tendencies. Yoga really helps me with sleeping at night, but the last two days I have not carved out time to unroll my mat and now I’m paying the price. When I was younger I was better able to handle not sleeping at night or getting by on only 2 to 3 hours of sleep. Now that’s just unheard of for me. I am a basketcase and cannot make the simplest of decisions when I don’t sleep, driving is difficult and forgot about trying to concentrate on anything. Worse still is when I go close to a week with barely any sleep because I feel so spacey that everything is hilarious to me and I get nothing accomplished. I cut caffeine and alcohol out of my diet 7 months ago and after the headache that lasted 3 weeks was finally gone, I was able to sleep rather well for a month. I realize I am rambling, but am helpless to stop at this point. If I do 90 minutes of moderate to intense exercise on most days I almost forget what insomnia feels like, but working and being a mom/wife and taking care of the house and dogs it isn’t always easy to fit in. My point? Come hell or high water I am exercising later this morning, even if I don’t sleep. I’m on my laptop as I realized I was keeping my hubby up with my incessant tossing and turning. I even took a couple of benedryls to no avail…still wide awake. My doc gave me trazadone, which made me feel awful. Only took it for 2 nights when I figured out that it was this pill that made me terrified I wouldn’t wake once I fell asleep. Has anyone else felt that with trazadone? I mean literally fighting off the sleepy feeling because it’s so foreign a type of sleepy feel that I noticed it felt like I wasn’t breathing enough. Guess I’ll play some computer games for now. Joy!
I hear you, Marissa. We are kindred spirits at the 3am hour!
Remember, the more often you take Benadryl the less effective it is, especially the drowsiness and can begin to backfire with restlessness.
Not every one can do what I do because of having children or what ever but at 6:00p.m. I close the blinds and turn out the lights except for the TV. I have asked my family and friends not to call me in the evening except in an emergency and I chill out the rest of the evening.
If I have activity in the evening I am so wound up I could build a house. During the day I get up at 5:30 a.m. and get as much as I can done in the mornings then take a nap at 11:30 and then in the afternoon finish up with what ever needs to be done.
I would like to say this helps me sleep but not really! I still toss and turn all night but it’s worse if I am active at night. I can drink coffee all day which I don’t but it doesn’t affect me at all. Being a stimulant like my meds it calms me down and I can even dose off if I’m not doing something interesting. Why doesn’t it do that for all Adder’s?
Does riding in the car put any one asleep? I can barely get out of the driveway if I am the passenger. I am asleep! I do think not taking phone calls in the evening might help me some what, it keeps me from solving everyone elses problems and also my own and from getting high from other peoples creative ideas. Just one word that interests me can get my creative juices going and forget it I am up all night.
Sounds like you’ve come up with a good plan, Sally! Cars don’t really work for me, but planes and trains do. At least with planes after the take off and then I hope to God for me to sleep until we land!!
I existed on 3 hours sleep for 10 years straight…falling asleep was not an issue, but staying asleep was impossible! I tried every single sleep tip I could possibly find on the internet, medications, relaxation and intense exercise etc. Alas, there was nothing found to keep me asleep…professionals were disbelieving when I would swear I was doing exactly what I’m told to do.
Needless to say, I was in a constant state of fatigue. Sleep approximately 3 hours, eventually go to work and put in a full day of hyperactivity, come home, eat, try to relax, ignore frustration and anxiety over not sleeping…on and on and on.
Now, I have the luxury of not going to work anymore. I decided to just go with it…sleep when I feel sleepy, get up and do something I like/love when I wake up, sleep again if I feel sleepy…or not. Allowing my natural sleep cycle to dominate without fighting it has done wonders for anxiety, which is almost non-existent now, fatigue, which is not an issue any more and my disposition has improved 100%:)
I now sleep about 5 hours at night, going to bed sometime between 10-11 PM and usually wake up sometime between 3-4 AM. I have a renewed affinity for the night sky, the stars and the moon my new friends, I have accomplished more projects in the past month than I have in the past 10 years (ok, maybe in the past lifetime) and I moved across a country from city to an island and I am never bored…not for one second!
Short answer: if you have the option to just follow the nature of your sleep cycle while maintaining your healthy sleep preparation habits you will find yourself more productive and less anxious.
I am 1000% convinced that fighting your nature causes all the problems and complications we experience!
WoW Judy. I agree with you, and I am sure many of us would love to have the option to follow our natural sleep cycle. But then the question is: would we?
Irony. This week there were two articles I can remember about sleep in the ADDitude magazine website. Here is today’s: 10-2-12
http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/9644.html
It starts with a window backing up my impression of sleep issue statistics.
“Up to 50 percent of children and 80 percent of adults with ADHD have problems going to sleep, staying asleep, getting restful sleep, and getting up the next morning. “
Thank you for sharing, Glen! Eye-popping stats!
I can relate to this topic completely and then some. Part of my problem is #1 I have this strange feeling (that I know doesn’t make sense) that I’m going to miss something if I go to sleep and #2 it’s really the time of day my creative energies seem to work best. If I buckle down and get serious about trying to actually sleep usually 2 mg of Intuniv helps along with a small dose of Adderall…I don’t know, it’s going on 3 am now so I feel like I might as well stay this one up, there’s always tomorrow night to sleep…
So Ironic that I stumbled across this post at 4:30am while following a link on Twitter. Gah!
I have worked shift work for the better part of 30 years. I do not have a sleep pattern. 3-5 hours a night, and no naps, never! Mom told me I have slept like this for my whole life. I took a sleep study for police officers a few years back. Came up with a few tips. Go to bed with loose fitting socks on, it gives you a sensation of warm and cuddly. Set bedroom temperature at 65 degrees, makes you not wanna get out of bed cause its too darn cold. Feather pillow is best. One heavier blanket as opposed to a sheet and blanket. Less weight on your feet and nothing gets tangled trying to cool off. No electronic stimuli in the bedroom, or use an hour before, and a tick tock clock or time keeper. We will get bored listening to he consistent beat, you fall asleep. Most have worked for me, and at times don’t work at all, but I think it’s fun to at least try. It might just work. Fwiw, I was told it was a Harvard sleep study
I notice I sleep 8 hours or more then sleep 3-4 hours. Sometimes no sleep like tonight with no chance of a nap tomorrow. This pattern has been like this for about a month. I always wake up at least 4 times a night either way. I really don’t mind it too much.
Thanks i have come across such a good site. I am going to read it again, alone, in silent and very slowly so as to i might get my answer for the desease i am fighting with it since last 10-15 years. Actually, with this thing, i fear i am going to be a LOOSER. But yes, i am not pessismistic. I would revolt, try my own method and concur on this. The only fact which differs is that i cannot sleep in my own house. If I visit someone else’s house for an overnight stay, i sleep at normal times. Any in my house too, i get my sleep around 4 in the morning and then cannot get up at least till 10. And daytime, i can sleep at any time.
I love the idea of staying awake and praying to at least take a nap. Lol. The other night the moon was soooo stinkin full that it flooded through my skylight and I just stayed awake. I am a believer that women are strongly effected by the moon cycle. This was a few days before I got diagnosed with ADHD. I just got the treatment and diagnosis for it today. I will sleep better knowing that my instinct was right. I feel like a happy kid again. Carefree because I have clarity over the chaos in my muddled brain. You have truly made me laugh tonight. I slept great last night.
it is possible that after i quit smoking i suffered INSOMIA? I stop smoking last july 13 2012
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