Why don’t we hear more about them?
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This is my attempt at guessing part of the reason:
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I do not entirely know the answer. However, I do know that for a long time it was thought that ADHD was only an issue for males, but we now know that is simply not the case. Women have ADHD, too! And, I am certain there are many who have overcome, succeeded and who are thriving with ADHD.
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But why don’t we hear more about them?
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Two of the most successful movie franchises at the moment have women in the lead, doing action flicks as used to be only done by men (Underworld / Resident Evil). Some highly successful women are also becoming self-made millionaires and billionaires, leaving most men in the dust (J. K. Rowling / Sheryl Sandberg).
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So what’s notable about these women and their success stories? They are women!
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Those are stories about ‘women’ succeeding. Any issues, conditions or disorders might be far less important than the fact that a ‘woman’ has ‘succeeded’ or ‘overcome’ the odds for, well, being a women. Credit they rightly deserve! The world hasn’t been exactly fair to women, but they are taking control of their destinies and they are making it, some are far out pacing their male counterparts!
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Kate Beckinsale, the star of the highly successful movie franchise ‘Underworld’, even with her success, recently was quoted as saying in an interview:

“There’s part of me that goes ‘Blimey, I can’t imagine playing the same role four times. That seems insane.’ But the slightly feminist part in me says ‘Well, if Bruce Willis can do it, so can I.’

And she’s right, so can she! (Examples of successful women, not to indicate these famous women have ADHD. A list of famous women with ADHD is below.)
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The point is that many women are still fighting the gender battle and ADHD takes a backseat, if they have it. Although many tend to think woman have won the gender battle, there are still areas where they are striving to prove themselves.
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So I am guessing that the gender issue might play a major role in why we don’t hear too many famous women talking about ADHD, if they have it, because there is a more important issue that has been more significant for a longer time. In other words women have had more to overcome for just being a woman. But that doesn’t mean that ADHD does not impair the women who have it or disrupt their life and cause them more hardships, because I am willing to bet that it does.
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Ultimately though, the focal point for ADHD has been on hyperactive young boys and the type of symptoms associated with them. It’s only within the last two decades that ADHD has been seriously researched in adults and an even shorter period of time that ADHD has been researched in women. I believe that most women with ADHD, famous or not, do not know they have it. And, unfortunately, most women with ADHD are suffering in silence, believing they are not good enough and I think they are more likely to be depressed and many may have symptoms of PTSD from childhood trauma.
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It’s kind of a paradox, but even though women have been battling the gender issue they are often considered more capable at academics, so when they struggle and fail in school I believe it is more likely they are treated harshly, punished, ridiculed and much better is expected of them, too often without consideration of any difficulties or challenges they might have.
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I’d also like to mention something interesting from my own experience with publishing One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir: women relate very closely to my story. I grew up with undiagnosed ADD (ADHD inattentive) and over the last few years I have literally had hundreds of women write me messages, letting me know that I had somehow written their story! It seems to me that women are more likely to have inattentive ADHD than the hyperactive type and many others, like me, have had any hyperactivity traits subdued psychologically and/or perhaps physically.
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When creating the cover for my latest eBook, How to be Happy Every Day – Even if you have ADHD, Joan and I decided it was very important to bring awareness to the fact that women have ADHD, too! That’s why there is a woman on the cover and the majority of the pictures inside the book are of a woman (with ADHD). The book is of course for both genders of all ages; however, it is still important to let any women who come across the book, who suspect they might have ADHD, know that it is okay to seek help. And YES, women can, and many do, have ADHD, too! I know of a lot of readers who have sent the free eBook to their female friends and relatives. So I think, in a very small way, the eBook is helping spread the word.
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Here is a list of famous women who have spoken up about their ADHD:
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(Hopefully this list will grow!)
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- Karina Smirnoff
- Mary-Kate Olsen
- Paris Hilton
- Roxy Olin
- Solange Knowles
- Katherine Ellison (Pulitzer Prize Winner at age 27!! Also, author of an outstanding book about her son with ADHD: Buzz)
- Michelle Rodriguez
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I am sure there are more to add to this list and you can do so in the comments, if you like.
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It is absolutely fantastic that people want to hear and read more about famous, successful women with ADHD, but in order to do that I think it is just as important, or even more so, to spread awareness that ADHD is not just an issue for young, hyperactive boys – it’s an issue for people of all ages, including women!
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Getting a job straight out of college or high school where you can work in your area of interest for the majority of your life is no longer a reality for most people. People have to adapt to the jobs that are available, that those jobs likely will not last but a few years and then they are faced with looking for entirely different type of employment. My question in this post is: what disorders might be discovered for the educated jobless who are trained to work in an employment system that is transforming?
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We are in a labor transformational era!  I know we are trying our best to maintain an outdated education system that impresses upon students to stay in school, learn what and how we tell them to learn so they can get a good job, but civilization, like it did a hundred and fifty years ago with the industrial revolution, is indeed transforming. Kicking, screaming and no amount of ‘voting’ is going to stop it. It is a fact that will not revert no matter how hard we try to hold on to it. Even the recent very slight improvement in conventional employment numbers, with the lowest unemployment rate in 3 years, that is not a sign that things are going back to the way they were.
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How is the education system going to respond and adapt, and what are we going to tag people as who can’t adapt or change with the new way of working that is not just coming, but is already here?!
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This is about employment change that comes with technological improvements and civilization moving forward into a new era, but there are people who get left behind, those who are not “suited” to the new roles that will be thrust upon them. There’s still a little time to catch up, but time is quickly running out. Job creation is not the complete answer, adapting to change and reinventing one’s self is going to be the key for a lot of people.
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Let’s look at what led us here to the current system: Up until about a hundred and fifty years ago kids used to work or were apprenticed. Starting at a very young age, they learned their trade as they worked, created or assisted. Then the industrial revolution came along and factories became the main place to find work. But there was a problem finding work for adults because kids were working in those factories cheaply. The problem was not that kids were working, because kids had been working in one way or another since the dawn of humankind. The problem was that kids were taking away jobs from adults. So changes were needed.
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That’s what started child labor laws, which I believe is a very good thing, but it is also what started our current grade school system we have in place today. Kids were originally put in school to get them out of the factories and to teach them how to sit still, be quiet and take instructions so that later they would become good “Factory workers”. The kids who could not sit still and be quiet, the ones who would normally be out farming, hunting or some other job that required ‘activity’ received not only bad grades and punishment to compel them to comply, but they also received special tags: disorderly, rambunctious and uncontrollable etc. and ADHD (as we understand it today) started becoming more apparent. And although it seems like forever, it is still relatively new to the world for anyone to sit still, be quiet and take instruction. Human evolution doesn’t happen overnight, even if we purposely choose a new way of life.
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Today things are changing again. “Factory jobs” (jobs where people take instruction and do the same repetitive tasks over and over again) are no longer as needed or as widely available when kids get out of school and people are finding it necessary to think differently, do multiple things, be creative, think outside the ‘box’ and be extremely flexible with a very wide variety of capabilities. Basically, people now need to be jacks of many trades. In today’s world, being still, taking instruction and doing repetitive tasks isn’t as valuable as it was. But it is still extremely valuable in school!
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A major problem is that the standard education system still in place is setup for a system that is on its last legs and the majority of people are simply not trained for freelancing, going from job to job, or thinking on their own without constant instruction. Being educated in one field which was supposed to guarantee a steady job is no longer as reliable as it once was. Even if there are many jobs in a single field it is likely to be over-saturated and with years of valuable education under one’s belt the competition often comes in the area of ‘experience’, who can change fast and move with changes faster.
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Grade school is vital to the growth of civilization, but eventually it must transform with the ‘real world’ changes taking place.
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The dilemma is that the current economy is in chaos due to less ‘traditional’ jobs, high unemployment and outsourcing to cheaper and often less traditionally educated foreign labor. Big companies have much smaller work forces with much of the work being performed by computerized programs. Factories have been refined to the point they do not need as many workers to take instruction and do the same tasks over and over, which just by computer and engineering advancements alone means less jobs. Offices with cubicles are getting smaller and smaller; eventually most of them will be gone, too. However, the grade schools keep churning out workers for these types of jobs with little ‘know-how and experience’ to fall back on if those jobs are not available. People are taking jobs where they are lost, confused and not suited and then think there is something ‘wrong’ with them because they cannot adapt quickly or effectively enough.
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So, it looks like we need more educated ‘jacks of many trades’ and people who are able to quickly multi-task, be extremely flexible and focus on several things rather than just a task at hand or repetitive tasks. What type of people will best fill those types of jobs? And what will we call the people who have an inability to adapt to this new way of working? Will another disorder become more apparent? The computers are not going away, the internet will not go away and the dawn of a new age is here! Who’s ready for it? Has the current educational system prepared their graduates for it?
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What will be the new “Normal”? And will another disorder start to become more apparent as ADHD did with the previous industrial revolution?
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While writing this post I came across an interesting, very similar topic by Seth Godin, here’s a quote from it: .

If you do a job where someone tells you exactly what to do, they will find someone cheaper than you to do it. And yet our schools are churning out kids who are stuck looking for jobs where the boss tells them exactly what to do.
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Do you see the disconnect here? Every year, we churn out millions of workers who are trained to do 1925 labor.
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As we get ready for the 93rd year of universal public education, here’s the question every parent and taxpayer needs to wrestle with: Are we going to applaud, push or even permit our schools (including most of the private ones) to continue the safe but ultimately doomed strategy of churning out predictable, testable and mediocre factory-workers?

ADHD is a real disorder and causes a lot of difficulties for people trying to focus and do repetitive tasks. It’s not hard to see how the previous industrial transformation eventually made ADHD more visible and more of a problem. I don’t think it is a stretch to predict that this will happen again.
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History has a way of repeating itself, but never in history did technological changes occur this fast or as frequently as they are now. Who’s prepared for it?
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Of course, I could be all wrong and not understand a thing. In that case let’s just keep doing the same thing and hope for a different result.
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Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
~Albert Einstein

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Or is it just me?
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I don’t believe in ghosts, I don’t believe in ghosts, I really, truly don’t believe in ghosts!!!
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I really don’t, but sometimes, well, maybe I do!
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Okay, this post is not entirely about ghosts. It is about the ADHD brain taking something and making it much bigger than it really is. Last night (a few hours ago) I was watching my latest episode of Ghost Hunters. I love that show! Anyway, I fell to sleep and about 3am I woke up suddenly because I hear a loud bang! The sound came from the kitchen. I lay there for a few minutes, frozen, of course, my mind coming up with all kinds of scenarios (and yes, the supernatural is involved) so finally, ever so slowly, I get up and cautiously go check things out.
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Everything looks okay, nothing out of the ordinary. It seemed that way for a moment.
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So, I go back to bed and after a long while I finally fall back to sleep, but no sooner do I think I am asleep before I hear another sound, this time it is a slow creaking sound. This is starting to freak me out. I get up, all the while berating myself for watching Paranormal 3 last week and I nervously head back to the kitchen, but before I get there I notice the living room door is half open (oh!). The problem is I had just closed it! Oh, this isn’t good. Again my mind swirls and swirls with thoughts (made me dizzy), so I check the front door and make sure it is still locked. It is! Thank goodness (or maybe not)!
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Now I decided to check the living room. This is the point where I really should have turned on the lights, but of course, I must think I am ghost hunting, because instead of thinking like a normal person (which I am not), I grab my flashlight. Ah, the brilliant reality of ADHD!
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I go into the living room and I see something out of the corner of my eye! Was that a shadow? I am almost certain it was! I point the flashlight that way. Nothing is there, I thought. Now I am adequately freaked out. It’s time to turn on the lights! You would think, right? But here’s this thing when my mind is whirling with fear and anxiety and other spectacularly unhelpful thoughts, I just don’t always think straight. My ADHD brain starts to play tricks on me and I start to make little, but painful, mental mistakes. The next thing I knew I tripped over the short glass living room table. Yep, hit the corner just right – you know, in that perfect spot in the shin. Best place to hit it if you’re going to do it. That hurt like crazy! And I know it will leave a mark, after I stop the bleeding!
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Okay, finally, thanks to the sharp pain in my shin and kneeling on one knee with the other shin firmly gripped in my hands, I finally decide it is time that I might want to turn on some lights. There’s nothing here. Nothing at all. However, with the lights finally on, I figured out what happened. (If something had been there I would have been toast anyway!)
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I’ll tell you what happened in a second, but like a good ADDer that writes a blog, I want to write my thoughts on the subject first. I mean, why go back to bed when I can be writing? I’ll be sleep deprived, I know that, but I’ve got to write about this. When you have ADHD, waiting becomes impossible at times and if I don’t do what I want to do RIGHT NOW then I won’t be able to sleep anyway (how do you think all those books I write get written?).
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Can you relate? I’ll be honest, I don’t even know if anything I am writing makes any sense right now, but I do know that writing is kind of calming me back down, bringing me back to center, giving me Zen or Chi or hey, I could stop this and exercise Tai Chi instead. See, I can’t even get my thoughts in order. How are you supposed to understand them?
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Okay, this is how this all relates to ADHD and kind of reminds me of my childhood and school. Whenever I become filled with anxiety I just can’t think, or rather I think too much and thousands of thoughts erupt in my head and I can’t tame them right away. I need to walk around, investigate and sometimes walk into the side of a table with my shin in order to STOP (I should take care of that bleeding before Joan sees it). That’s why Tai Chi helps me so much, but in moments when I put myself in a frantic state all the Tai Chi in the world doesn’t help.
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Obviously, the smart thing would have been to turn the lights on first! The next best thing would have been to take a deep breath and remember that our heating system cycles at about 3am in the morning sometimes creating a loud sound exactly like the one that woke me up! Then I should have also remembered to firmly close the living room door when I went back to bed. The living room door isn’t exactly balanced and tends to slowly swing open if not closed entirely shut (debunked!). Hind sight is twenty— twenty and I can think of all the right things now, but when my ADHD gets rolling and the anxiety kicks in I can’t seem to figure out which way is up and if there’s a ghost in the house or not?
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Solution: Stop watching those addictive ghost shows! No, I need another solution. I mean, why take all the fun out of it? Anyway, I am tired and need to go back to bed, so my solution for the moment is to leave the lights on. Yeah, I know it was the heating system, but still.
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Good night.
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Every now and then I will come across the strangest suggestions and the oddest questions. I am sure you have too. One of the strangest suggestions I came across recently is that people, especially children, with ADHD should not look up to, aspire to be or admire successful people with ADHD. I suppose there may be several potential reasons for this idea: Having goals that are too high, fear they will suffer great disappointment aspiring to such greatness or be hurt if they discover that they can’t necessarily be exactly like their heroes.
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I guess we could call those reasonable reasons, but what I am getting from this are a few things that come directly to mind:

• People with ADHD should not be inspired or motivated by people with ADHD who have gone before them and especially not those who have succeeded.
• If you have ADHD you’re not good enough to aspire for greatness.
• Only “normal” people can have heroes or be inspired by people who have succeeded.

I don’t know about you, but this just seems ridiculous for anyone not to dream big and be inspired by their personal heroes, especially if you have ADHD and see others with ADHD who have come before you and have been successful. Worse still is that I get the distinct feeling of contempt for these successful people with ADHD and their accomplishments when I come across such admonishments.
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Guarding our children (and ourselves) form disappointment is only natural. But to discourage them from being inspired from others who have ADHD like them I believe is unnecessary. In fact, I think it is important to expose children to many kinds of heroes and successful people to show them that success is not defined by what disorder one has but what a person can achieve with or without ADHD. Having ADHD is challenging and those who are successful despite it (or perhaps because of it?) should be lauded and appreciated. Having an inspiring person who drives you to do well academically and other places in life I don’t think should be discouraged.
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If Albert Einstein is a shining example of a successful person considered to have had ADHD, and if you have a picture of him on your wall with one of his many famous and inspiring quotes to inspire you, then I think that’s great! Are you going to be the next Albert Einstein? Well, probably not, but neither is any “normal” person or any prodigy for that matter. There may never be another Albert Einstein. However, that’s not the point. Perhaps, though, he will inspire someone to stay in school and continue studying mathematics or inspire someone to perhaps be a physicist.
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The point is that ADHD does not mean we are doomed to failure or that we cannot overcome and succeed. Yes, we can learn skills, yes we have talents and strengths and yes we are often better than people give us credit to be, even if we are better in areas that don’t seem important or relevant to ‘them’. Whoever ‘them’ is.
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If your hero is Richard Branson does that mean you must strive to own an airline and create the first commercial spaceship to take passengers to the edge of space? (That’s right, someone very special with ADHD is doing that. How cool is that?!) No, we don’t need to own an airline or strive to do that. Your goals and aspirations don’t have to be that lofty at all, but again, that’s just not the point. To assert such a thing is, well, uninspired.
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Most people do not have heroes to be ‘exactly’ like them or to become their next incarnation. It’s about being encouraged in some way by their accomplishments. “Someone” with ADHD has done well – “Heck, maybe I can, too!” And what’s wrong with that? Fear that the one inspired, encouraged or motivated might forget their limitations due to ADHD or that they will only fail? Or they will suffer heartache because they can’t be as good as their hero or idol? Let’s be real for a moment, don’t we all fail time and again, and we all suffer heartache whether we are inspired by successful people or not?
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Seriously?
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How many people seriously go around upset with themselves because they didn’t come up with the next commercial space airlines? Or how many people really, truly think that if they do not create the next airlines then they are failures or that they need to do so to be considered successful? Does anyone really say that, or think that? I hope not. I mean, really? I’ve never met a single such person. Have you?
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Perhaps being inspired by Richard Branson will also keep someone in school to learn how to become a rocket scientist or a business person. Or maybe being inspired by space flight might give someone the motivation and inspiration to write a wonderful story about a space adventure. Or maybe, just maybe, someone with ADHD will realize that ADHD doesn’t mean they are destined only to fail. Is that really so bad?
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Sometimes I think over protecting our ADHD children (or ourselves) from failure or disappointment goes too far. If people with ADHD should not be inspired, motivated or encouraged by successful ADDers then I think that’s a shame. Or maybe the goal is to see ADHD so negativity that we ignore or even, maybe, discount anyone’s success with ADHD? After all they absolutely must have been failures in some other aspect of their lives… right? Of course...
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My suggestion is just as it has been for thousands of years for people who have lived before us: Be inspired by your heroes and allow yourself to aspire for your kind of greatness, even if you have ADHD!
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Are we so unfortunate as people with ADHD that we should not be allowed to have dreams, aspirations or even people we look up to who have succeeded and gone before us? Should we ban books about them while we are at it?
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If however you’d like to be inspired by a few successful ADDers, consider:  Richard Branson, David Neeleman, Terry Bradshaw and Karina Smirnoff. That’s just for starters, there are thousands of others. Yes, many have struggled and many have failed more times than not, but people with ADHD have found ways to become successful. Instead of banning books about them or disregarding their success – how about discovering how they did it, what strategies they used and how about who inspired and motivated them?
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My personal point in this blog post: Show me someone successful, with or without ADHD, and I will show you someone who has heroes, who was inspired and motivated by successful people who had gone before them.
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One of the ideas I present in my latest eBook How to be Happy Every Day – even if you have ADHD is to be inspired by those who have succeeded, but I also go a step further and suggest also being happy for those who have, or are, succeeding and overcoming their struggles with ADHD. I think there is truth to the statement that if we cannot be happy for others, then we cannot be happy for ourselves. Even if we have ADHD we can have heroes, too, and acknowledge those who have succeeded with ADHD!
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More power to you!
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Inspiration is a spark that can ignite a fire within anyone to be greater than they thought possible in their own individual way, and I truly believe that even people who have succeeded who have ADHD can provide that spark and be an inspiration to others. When an aspiring artist admires the work of another artist, they do not want to create a work exactly like their favorite artist, but would rather find their own approach and create their own work. They may have originally picked up a brush because another artist inspired them-but what drives them to create their own art comes from within them.  Being inspired by someone may give someone else the ability to see that there are possibilities for them, even though those possibilities might be different.
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There’s nothing wrong with protecting a child (or ourselves) from disappointment, it is only natural, but at the same time allow them (or ourselves) to experience the possibilities that are out there for people with ADHD. Let them see what others have achieved (and how) so that they do not feel alone and perhaps they will become motivated in some unique way to excel in their own areas of interest.
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I have long admired and have been greatly inspired by Stephen King! I was put in a special education class for reading and writing in second grade, now I believe that thanks to being inspired by someone extraordinary (whether he has ADHD or not) I enjoy writing every day and I strive to become better at it! I am still not a fraction as good as Stephen King and I do not write horror or fiction for that matter, but hey, he did inspire me to take up writing and to continue learning about writing! What’s so wrong with that? I don’t think there is anything wrong with that, but what if I had not been inspired by him? Who knows? I don’t know, but maybe, just maybe, I would not be writing this blog today if he did not provide me with that special little spark of motivation, inspiration and desire. I’ve also been greatly inspired by Dr. Hallowell and his efforts to help encourage and motivate people with ADHD, but I have no desire to become a doctor! However, I still try to encourage and motivate in my own way.
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Who has inspired and motivated you? Do you think if you do not reach their heights or do what they did, then you’ll consider yourself a failure? Or, do you use the spark of inspiration and motivation to help you strive to reach your own individual ambitions?

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Thank you for reading this post, as you can tell it meant a lot to me to write it. I really think it is a shame if we should not be inspired, encouraged or motivated by successful people with ADHD! Hey, I might even design a space shuttle after all, or maybe I will write a book!

Now, go and do your-kind-of-special!

~Bryan
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But is it helpful? Does negativity help someone gain friends? Is it a likable characteristic or make a person enjoyable to be around? Does it help one find a job or retain a job and become someone who is respected and admired?
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I believe that our attitude is within our control and can be modified.
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(Disclaimer: what follows is only my opinion, read it at your own risk. Take it or leave it as any reader sees fit. I have the greatest respect for those suffering from co-morbid conditions such as ODD or Bipolar and this post does not encompass co-morbid conditions.).

There are many justifications for someone with ADHD to have a negative attitude: Considering repeated mistakes, mental, impulsive blunders, speaking one’s mind when one shouldn’t and oh, I almost forgot: forgetfulness. And much, much more depending on how much ADHD affects someone.
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Not everyone falls into the negativity trap, but too many do and yet few really consider that this most likely is a choice they’ve made somewhere along the way. That choice has been reinforced over and over again. When we justify something, anything, it becomes necessary to continue to justify it and by doing so anything that challenges it will not be fully considered, much less accepted and if somehow another view is considered the justifications for one’s attitude will pop up and take over.
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One’s attitude and direction cannot change until the justifications are viewed for what they are. Otherwise negativity’s power will reign forever and any time something starts to improve it becomes necessary to stop, drop and roll and insure the improvements and any advancement do not continue. After all how can we complain if our complaints are no longer valid or justified? That just won’t work. Instead a negative mindset absolutely must reinforce the negative persuasion over and over again. It’s pretty obvious to any observer and yet the person trapped can hardly see it and when faced with it may even admit it but will do very little to change it (or believes he or she can’t change it). Negativity is the ultimate puppet master. I know and cutting the strings is easier said than done. I needed help to cut them!
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A negative mental attitude and seeing things through lenses of disgust, dejection, anger and regret are fairly common and I think rather normal for people with ADHD. It’s all justified. We are justified in feeling all the things we do, as negative as they sometimes may be. However, if we want a better life, want to be happy and want to have good friends and stop to smell the roses then we may need to make an admission. And it is about personal choice. Negativity is a choice.
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And keep in mind that negativity is about rejection and who knows more about rejection than people with disorders, especially “mental” disorders?! Considering that negativity is about rejection, we can start to see all the things we reject when we are in the trap of negativity and we ourselves eventually may become rejections in the mirror.
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When we think about it, a negative attitude is probably the worst epidemic of the modern world and in my humble opinion way outpaces ADHD as a problem for social engagements, relationships and holding down a job or keeping friends. I believe people in general are far more forgiving of ADHD than a negative attitude. However, ADHD plus a negative attitude spells the ultimate disaster. ADHD can be treated and we have many ways to seek improvement, but if we are enveloped in a negative attitude and mindset, then those possibilities are very unlikely to produce any positive results for long.
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Indeed, a negative attitude is more often than not considered a personal choice regardless of one’s reasons and justifications. People just don’t care about the motivations and few, except those who live in the same perpetual negativity, excuse them. But even those who live in the same void don’t necessarily want to be around their peers too much. Do you want to be around someone who turns a clear, beautiful blue sky into a cloudy, miserable chilly day just by their attitude, regardless if they have ADHD or not?
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A negative mental attitude is like a bad hangover that just doesn’t seem to go away. When was the last time you wanted to hang out with someone who always has a mental hangover?
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I’d rather be with someone who forgets to be on time than someone who is on time and makes me regret being around them because of their negative attitude. If you are positive and enthusiastic I won’t mind if you’re late to meet for lunch and I won’t mind if you interrupt me from time to time either. I’ll listen to your problems if you’re willing to consider solutions. I’ll give you a shoulder to cry on when things just don’t work out. Being sad, hurt or depressed isn’t about having a negative attitude and it happens to the best of us or it wouldn’t happen to you! I’ll even help you find your car keys when you misplace them, and perhaps you’ll help me find mine (I’m already looking!), but if you become overly angry and hateful, that’s when I’ll have to draw the line.
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A negative attitude is in of itself a repellent. It may be justified, but no one really, truly wants to be around it for very long, or longer than they absolutely have to. That’s just the way it is and yet some refuse to see this reality and still blame ADHD for issues their attitude is creating. ADHD creates enough already, which may seriously lend to one’s attitude as a result, but it doesn’t have to take control.
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People with ADHD, we are used to being blamed for our ADHD symptoms as if they are personal or moral choices, or just bad habits and we know that’s not true. However, at the same time this does not mean there are not things within our control. We are not kites in the sky just flapping about all the time. Yes, I am saying we do have certain responsibilities and control within our grasp. Yes, we might need help and we might need to make some hard decisions and admissions, but ADHD is not a get away with a negative attitude free card.
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In truth people with ADHD do not own negativity. It’s wide spread and is quite common and each person has their own reasons and justifications. I have met plenty of people, and I am sure you have, too, who speak to the ADHD population about our symptoms all the while using derogatory terms to describe us and are rather condescending about it. We have to be vigilant and keep our eyes and ears open for the pot calling the kettle black. Just because someone doesn’t have ADHD doesn’t mean they are not susceptible to negativity or of having a negative mental attitude.
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So the question is: Are the justifications worth it? Having the right and being justified, doesn’t always make it right and especially not helpful. Does it?
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The good news is that (again, excluding co-morbid conditions) attitude is adjustable and improvable. It’s a matter of choice! Having lived with clinical depression and PTSD (which was far more complicated than ADHD alone, but partially brought on by undiagnosed ADHD symptoms) I know firsthand how problematic and frustrating it is. I have a lot of sympathy and empathy for the depressed and suffering.  Depression is serious business and there’s nothing wrong with getting help.
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Sometimes we also may need to move on from people who facilitate our negativity. We all know the people that support our attitude whether it is positive or negative so it becomes another choice of being around them and allowing them to continue their influence or not. These are hard choices, but necessary and even with ADHD I believe we have the power to make those choices.
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And yes, I believe if we justify our attitude, either positively or negatively then we are internally, subconsciously telling ourselves it is okay. Life will naturally follow suit.
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Here’s an example of the power of thought and looking for what one really, truly wants. I recently discovered I need reading glasses. I have been through our local city a million times and never before really noticed any optical shops, but yesterday when I went into the city to buy glasses I suddenly found not 1 or 2 shops, but easily a dozen. They seemed to be everywhere and I found a nice basic pair in the very first shop I went to. When I started looking for glasses they were practically everywhere, but before I started looking for them I hardly noticed any of the optical stores.
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It is the same thing when I first started seeing things more positively, after years of therapy (overcoming my internal justifications from living with undiagnosed ADHD). I started seeing the good things around me and the good influences that could benefit my new found attitude, but I also became more aware of the negative influences that I needed to distance myself from, too.
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Tips for Consideration:

• Becoming aware of one’s attitude is the first step.
• Wanting to change.
• Seeking help may be needed.
• Identifying and removing or limiting time with those who support a negative mental attitude or those who manipulate it. Replace them with those who support a more constructive and optimistic attitude.
• Replace justifications for a Negative Mental Attitude with justifications for a Positive Mental Attitude or an Optimistic Mental Attitude.
• Choose to be happy, even if you have ADHD!

Sometimes it is good to go looking for a pair of glasses; the type that when we look through the lenses we see solutions, possibilities and the positive, happy things life has to offer. We deserve to be happy, too – even if we have ADHD!
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Life’s just too short already. Let’s make it better, because I truly believe each of us has the power to make positive changes in our attitude, if we so choose!
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In my latest free eBook I ask readers to ‘note’ the good things. It is so easy for us to point out and beat ourselves up over our mistakes and things that didn’t work out. But if we really want to live happier, more positive lives, then we probably should give the “good” things the credit they deserve, too. Don’t you think?
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One way that leads to happiness is gratefulness and I have a lot to be thankful for this year.
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Here’s my list of my top 10 ‘good’ things this year:
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I released my first free eBook of the year 7 Crucial Tips for Parents and Teachers of Children with ADHD. It has been downloaded thousands of times and passed on via email countless more times, also via facebook and so many other ways.
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The ADDer World ADHD Social Network reached a new milestone as membership went over 3000 members!! We are already nearing 4000! If your not a member yet, join us.
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One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir made me one of the top 3 bestselling authors for my publisher! What that really tells me is that my story is reaching, and resonating, with people all over the world and is becoming one of the most well known ADHD books. I am thankful it is benefiting so many. Far more than I ever dreamed of! Thank you!
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Sharon St. John, LPC, wrote an ADHD support group guide to One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir!  I learned a lot from reading her guide, things I did not realize people were ‘getting’ from my story. Thank you, Sharon! She’s an amazing person and one of the very best support group coordinators.
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I met Tom Cruise and Paula Patton! They were gracious and very nice. Tom was actually a surprise, because the press had given me very different expectations. Lesson learned: Can’t always rely on what you read in the papers!
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I recently released my latest free eBook How to be Happy Every Day – Even if you have ADHD! This eBook is perhaps my favorite writing project of the year. I decided to both write and design this eBook, but I wasn’t sure I would get it out in time for the holidays. But I did! Woo Hoo! It is setting a personal record for how many copies have been downloaded in the amount of time so far.
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I wrote another book this year that will be released in 2012-13. It is my first book not about ADHD – it is about writing, blogging and self-publishing.
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My first free eBook 10 Things I Hate about ADHD went well over 50,000 downloads in 2011! If you consider that most published books often only have a run of 10,000 to 30,000 prints then it becomes clearer that my first eBook has been read by more people than most published books! 50,000 is only the number I can verify, but who knows how many times it has been emailed and shared. Although my eBooks are available to ADDer World members, they are also available on many other sites and I have no idea how many people are sharing them via their websites and so on.
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So, what was my most read article of 2011 on my blog? The most read article on ADDer World was: Steve Jobs RIP Dead – ADHD? The runner up: Major Landmark for People with ADHD everywhere! Pass it on. – Also, one of my blog posts from last year (hint: blurting) will appear in ADDitude Magazine’s next issue (Spring)!
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A major highlight of 2011 was a recent, very positive and encouraging review of One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir by Dr. Edward Hallowell! Thank you very much Dr. Hallowell.
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Special thanks and gratitude to:

• Sarah Gogstetter
• Kate Kelly (She’s been in the hospital please keep her in your thoughts.)
• Melissa Orlov
• Katherine Ellison
• Madelyn Griffith-Haynie
• Sharon St. John
• Jacqueline CX
• Catherine Avery
• Rory Stern
• David A. Crenshaw
• Seth Godin
• Tara McGillicuddy
• Terry Matlen
• Nancy Irwin
• David Giwerc
• Ariane Benefit
• Jacqueline Sinfield
• Sarah D. Wright
• Kenny Handelman
• Nancy Ratey
• Charles Parker
• Eileen Bailey
• All the wonderful members of ADDer World and so many others!

That’s my highlight list of “good things” for 2011 and I look forward to more good things in 2012! Thank you all so very much for reading the stuff I write, without you none of these things would be as good as they are. Please continue sharing the eBooks as far and wide as you can.
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Make sure you get your copy of How to be Happy Every Day – Even if you have ADHD! As much requested I am updating it for a Special Edition Workbook! It seems I can never settle and do enough, but that’s one of my previous disadvantages that I turned into one of my “advantages” by finding my passion and purpose, and what makes ADHD a special “Gift” to me! Now, go and turn disadvantages into advantages, make your attention matter by paying more attention to your strengths and your possibilities, or your child’s! There are so many good things about you!
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Best wishes to all!
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~Bryan

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What is your life’s purpose? What is that “something” that fills you with abundant energy and joy?
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Everyone has it, that “It” factor, that special quality that sets them apart from everyone else. It’s their purpose and doing it takes no excessive effort or exasperating force of will. It comes naturally, like a cool breeze on a hot summer’s day. It’s not about making money or meeting any requirements or doing something that you are “told”.
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Most of a person’s life with ADHD is doing things that do not come naturally. It starts in school and just seems to continue forever. This typically happens because we live in a world setup for the non-ADDer and we are regularly following guidelines and rules created for people without ADHD. We are constantly trying to “fit in” and be different than we are wired to be. We are today’s left handers practically required to become right handers: Our left hand is all too often, in one way or another, being tied behind our backs. In a very real way the message we all too often receive is that as “we naturally are” is not “good enough” and is not the “right way” to be. Perhaps because of this, too many of us never discover our true purpose.
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One of the ambitions of my latest free eBook How to be Happy Every Day – Even if you have ADHD is to help my fellow ADDers discover the good things in their life and about themselves. Hopefully the journaling of ideas presented in the book helps readers discover something very special about who they are, and specifically: their purpose.
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The book has been designed for you to discover the true, wonderful, you. Even if you have ADHD! After reading it, journaling and reflecting on your “good things”, see if you find a common theme. Perhaps if you find the common theme you may also find your true purpose, if you haven’t already.
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What’s your “It” factor? I know you have “It!”

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Put a bulletin board on your wall and make it a happiness board.

I’ve always had difficulty with personal “deadlines” and “goals”. I wave at them as they pass by unfinished or, in most cases, not even started. However, I have found a way to turn my wants, needs and desires into visual reminders. I’ve learned that the more my mind is reminded of something in a pleasant, pressure free way, the more likely I am to do it. Because of this I created a visual “happiness board”. It’s on the wall just above my desk where I write every day.

When I was writing One Boy’s Struggle, I created a mock-up cover and pinned it to my happiness board. I set no deadline to complete the book, but somehow that picture reminded me every day that I would finish it and, I did!

Too simple, right?! That’s the point.

Deadlines and specific goals fill me with unneeded pressure and are over complications to something that can be so much simpler and pleasant. Pictures of places I want to visit are on my happiness board, too. I’ve visited many of them thanks to my board (The Mona Lisa rocks!). Many things I want to accomplish are represented in pictures on my board. A happiness board with compelling, wonderful, exciting pictures is a way to set my mind in motion and gently remind myself of what is important to me.

How about creating your own happiness board?

You know what else is wonderful about it? There’s no requirement to believe it works. Simply enjoy the pictures and allow them to make you happy every day anyway.

(By the way, the mock-up cover I used for One Boy’s Struggle eventually became the actual cover.)

If you want more tips on How to be Happy Every Day: Click Here to download the free eBook! Share it with your friends too, because we all deserve to be happy, every day!

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It’s wonderful to have friends, especially those who encourage us to be the best that we can be. However, it’s also important to remember that we tend to emulate the people we are around the most. If we’ve fallen into a pessimistic, negative or downbeat group, then perhaps we need to adjust our friendships, especially if we want to move on to happier horizons.

Friendships are incredibly important. Therefore:

Choose friends wisely.

If you truly want to be happy, my experience is to choose friends that encourage and support you, have an optimistic nature and like you for who you are and who you are becoming. Consider the direction you are going and the direction you want to go, and then hang around and befriend people that are as you would like to become. As they say, if you want to be happy, surround yourself with happy people, because they will rub off on you!

(This is a short excerpt from my new eBook How to be Happy Every Day – Even if you have ADHD. My new free eBook has set a personal record for downloads in the amount of time it has been available! Thank you for reading and sharing it!! If you have not downloaded it yet, you can do so by simply Clicking Here and saving it. Please share it with others. The more it is shared the more inspiration I have to create more eBooks for free!  Also, if you have a moment, and if you’ve shared it, please let me know ‘how’ you have shared it. That would be helpful to me. Comment or send me a message, even if you just want to find out how you might help to share it.)

Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them. ~W. Clement Stone

Although this eBook is written for people with ADHD, the fundamentals I believe are helpful for just about anyone.

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In the tradition of the holidays and to pass on my deepest thanks to you, I am giving away my latest eBook, How to be Happy Every Day – Even if you have ADHD. It is my holiday gift to you. Click Here. Download link now available in the free eBooks group on our ADHD social network (updated 2/12/12)

I hope you enjoy this new eBook and please do pass it forward. Share it with your friends and anyone you think will enjoy it.  – Several people have emailed me asking what they can do in return. Simply pay it forward, click the share links or ‘like’ the post, email it to friends or anyone. That’s it. We all deserve happiness!

Happy Holidays and I wish you a wonderful, fruitful New Year!
~Bryan

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