Seems things are going to get worse before they get better.

I just read another article about ‘the myth of ADHD’ by someone who raised my eyebrows. Mr. Herr, an assistant professor in the Department of Educational Studies, Leadership and Counseling at Murray State University, wrote a recent article titled - ADHD: Has this diagnostic fad run its course?

According to Mr. Herr, ADHD is a diagnostic fad! His article perfectly underscores my recent blog post about how a report in the media can be skewed by the headline (in this case the entire article). I am not going into detail about how accurate a report authored by an assistant professor of economics about ADHD children and misdiagnosis of ADHD at an early age might be (Youngest in class get ADHD label - another headline to go with my previous collection). However, people are paying attention to it and when someone who is an assistant professor in the department of educational studies for a university openly writes that ADHD is a fad of its time, well, there you go. Would you want to be a student with ADHD at his school? Just asking…

I read Mr. Herr’s article this morning and started to feel the shame and guilt of living with ADHD all over again. His article has far more power than he might think and I am not sure if he realizes how many people he may be putting in jeopardy and confusion.

Mr. Herr writes:

“Probably one of the best ways to make sense of children and the rise of ADHD is for adults to focus on some basic questions. Don’t most adults become distracted when they are tired? Don’t most adults become fidgety when they are bored? Don’t most adults lose interest in their work when they don’t see any significance in what they are doing? And when adults wrestle with concerns relating to stress, sleeplessness, frustration, and depression, aren’t the responses often “get some rest,” “exercise” “start eating better,” and “try finding something you’re interested in”?” Quoted from Mr. Herr’s article in The Christian Science Monitor

First, how do you make sense of children by comparing them to adults? Anyway, let’s skip that obvious question. Yes, to all of the assertions above. All of them are true, but those are not the things which in of themselves can be determined as ADHD. They are determined to be ADHD when they cause life problems, are constant and have been present since early childhood.  As an example, if Mr. Herr would read my book “One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir –Surviving life with Undiagnosed ADD” – he would discover that I would daydream daily through my entire day at school, not just when I was tired, or when I was bored or fidgety or stressed or whatever guess, other than ADD. Daydreaming was a constant daily struggle. Not paying attention to the teacher, or being able to read books, or assignments and understand them in time for a quiz was a constant struggle. Actually, assertions similiar to Mr. Herr’s may have been part of the reason I was punished and chastised so much for my behavior.

My mother cooked everyday an excellent, healthy meal for the family. I typically slept at least 9 hours a night. I wasn’t tired from lack of sleep. However, I was bored that is true, bored to the bone and very few things could keep my attention and when I did find something that kept my attention it was usually not for very long. Also, if Mr. Herr would read my book he will find that I often switched things I became interested in. Therefore, to assert that we can just switch someone to their interest isn’t always all that helpful, because if they have ADHD they are highly likely to change their interest out of their control quite quickly and without notice. It’s frustrating and depressing. 

Perhaps it was just depression in my case? Again, if he reads my book he will find that my behavior and the punishment I received because of it by educators, my father and many others was the main culprit for my depression and later PTSD, but my typical ADD behavior came first. Not that I deserved punishment because my ADD came first, but rather it was misunderstood and therefore I needed understanding and a proper professional evaluation of my behavior.

When you have enough people getting on you because you’re doing things out of your control, but in their opinon “on purpose” – let me tell you, it gets to you after a while. I started to believe I was doing it ‘on purpose’ too and punished myself for it because nothing else worked (read my book Mr. Herr). Punishing myself along with other people’s punishment didn’t help for very long, it made things worse. Punishment led to far, far worse. You know what did help? You guessed it, proper professional treatment for Depression, PTSD and ADD! Not any one’s opinion that my condition doesn’t exist or that it is a fad. Mr. Herr’s article really just shows the mentality of a large portion of society which just can’t accept that certain behaviors are out of one’s control. It’s a bully-ish attitude and often keeps people from seeking the help they need, because the stigma and shame can be so overwhelming.

Sorry, if I seem a bit upset here by these assertions, but I would be very careful making broad assumptions about anyone’s condition as not truly existing unless you are indeed their doctor, are treating them and have a very familiar understanding of their issues. However, if you have a predetermined view of conditions like ADHD as just fads, you would not be my doctor.

With all this said, I can understand where Mr. Herr is coming from, as I mentioned it is an all too common belief in our society and, unfortunately, it is these types of beliefs those of us with ADHD and our families must live with daily. Mr. Herr’s article may help reinforced the stigma of ADHD and what’s more he is an educator. Let’s hope the ‘left hander’s’ are not the next target of such an article (is there a blood test for truly being left handed?). I guess such beliefs are part of the reason behind laws to protect those with disabilities, which does include mental disabilities such as ADD / ADHD by the way. It’s also important to note that ADHD is a part of the The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition (DSM-IV TR) - it is my opinion that “Fads” are not included in this manual published by the American Psychiatric Association, used by clinicians and psychiatrists to diagnose psychiatric illnesses. *

- If you would like to read an article that at the least accepts ADHD as a condition, but thinks TV is partly to blame: Let’s blame ADHD on too much TV - at least this author is looking for a legitimate reason! The problem with his theory is someone like me. When I was growing up we were allowed only very limited TV viewing and I certainly didn’t have a TV in my room as a young kid. Therefore, this theory doesn’t work for why I have Attention Defecit Disorder.

*This article has been about my concern for Mr. Herr’s opinion about ADHD being a fad in the article he wrote here. My concern is for how damaging such an open opinion article by an educator can be to those of us living with the mental disability ADHD, and our families – not to mention students struggling with this disorder. Mr. Herr has the right to his opinion and to write about it. I have the right to discuss his openly written opinion and share mine about it.

What’s your opinion?

~Bryan

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People of all ages are going to fall to peer pressure, both the good and the bad kind. Yes, there is a good kind of peer pressure, which will enable a person to achieve something better for themselves and possibly for a group. Then there is the bad kind of peer pressure which usually involves getting into some kind of mischief or doing something which one will eventually regret. There are plenty of definitions out there, so I am not going to try and explain all of the types and ways peer pressure exists.

The problem with defining peer pressure, especially the type – including age factors, and explaining it to someone else, so they can hopefully identify it when it happens is that we usually relate it to ourselves and how we respond to such pressure. Just as a quick example, when I read the comments and emails to the Miley Cyrus post about her comment about ‘ADHD’ and ‘Crazy Medication’ most considered how they viewed the comments to themselves and basically blew them off, because, really, to the educated and well-informed person her comments were meaningless and for the most part should be blown off.

The thing is that people who read my blog are not really going to take Miley’s comments seriously, I know that. However, Miley’s fan base is made up mostly of young teens and preteens. What happens when they go to school and jokingly antagonize their classmate who is taking those ‘crazy meds’? You know the child in question with low self-esteem, who is already feeling out of place. Yeah, that young impressionable child. I was that child once and I haven’t forgotten, that’s why I offered to send her my book One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir — Surviving Life with Undiagnosed ADD!

So, how seriously do I take Miley’s comment today, as an adult with ADHD? I am listening to one of her albums right now and I still like Miley and her music just as much! For me, her comment was just an immature generalization about ADHD and ADD of which she apparently knows next to nothing, and from what I can tell, she didn’t mean anything by it – for me, that is! The pop idol’s comments are ridiculous, yes, but even more so they are rather irresponsible considering the millions of young people who look up to her. If Jay Leno had made those comments, no one would have blinked and it certainly would not have made headlines. Leno has a different audience. Most adults usually know who they are and what medications work for them or don’t. Preteens and teens are still impressionable and are still figuring out who they are, especially those with ADHD. Unfortunately many of them want to model themselves after their favorite actors and pop stars. Miley doesn’t have to be an angel or perfect, but she should be responsible in her comments when it relates to mental health issues.

In order to help someone recognize and avoid certain types of peer pressure parents and educators should encourage them to know themselves and to feel confident in their values.  We should reinforce those good decisions that our children make at home, when they are young and eventually when they are faced with peer pressure they are better able to make good choices for themselves. Positive feedback about a child’s good decisions will help build their self-esteem and make them less susceptible to the peer pressure that they face at school, with their friends after school, and what they read and hear from their favorite pop idols. For children with ADHD fostering a healthy self-esteem at home and by educators at school will also help a child struggling with the day to day effects of ADHD. Peer pressure only works when one allows it to work on them. We must help our children build a force field of  emotional strength by letting them know that they are smart, capable of achieving greatness, and are worth taking care of themselves.

I am not an expert on peer pressure by far! I have fallen for it myself from time to time and who knows, I may fall for it again, but I like to think I won’t. With that in mind, I think the best way to help anyone avoid negative and/or destructive peer pressure is to find ways to help them lift their self-esteem and their own self-worth. I think most people fall for peer pressure when they don’t have positive encouragement for their personal beliefs, wants, needs and desires. If someone is always being criticized and punished, or told they are wrong and dumb, stupid or crazy then they may look to others for support, even if it is the gang down the street who will take them in with open arms and let them know how ‘valuable’ they are. I think this is extremely important to take into account if a child or teen has ADD, ADHD or a LD.

The unfortunate truth is that most people with or without ADHD are susceptible to peer pressure at school or even at work for us adults. When we are insecure we go along with the negative and destructive suggestions of those around us, and conversely when we are secure in who we are, we do not even notice the negative suggestions of others, or if we do, we may inform them it is unwanted. Peer pressure is only as powerful as we let it be. How we react to the so called pressure of others is the key. If we know who we are, respect ourselves and know what our values are then the pressure is off. We can laugh off the negative suggestions and continue to be just who we are with all the confidence and greatness that is within us with ADHD or not.

Young children are typically struggling with who they are and are unsure of their identity, when ADHD is a factor this issue is compounded and the ramifications can be dramatic, profound and lasting. Even more so kids with ADHD want to feel like they belong, they don’t want to feel alone and different, much less take some crazy medication because they can’t think and act as well as their peers. For an adult this may all seem a superficial example, but for a 10 yr old, that’s a very real situation to deal with. If it’s crazy medication that they are taking then maybe they will feel or believe they are considered crazy too and possibly stop taking it. It’s already difficult enough for most parents to explain to their child why they must take medication daily, or in many cases, more often.

In a comment to the Miley Cyrus post a commenter made a very important point that there is a problem when reading other’s comments because it is impossible to know their true connotation without actually hearing them. That is so true. The problem is, with such interviews most people won’t ‘hear’ them anyway, they will either read them, or in the case of children they will probably just hear aboutthem. That’s why it is that much more important for celebrities like Miley to think first. Most of us ADDers have an issue with thinking first, our words tend to come out and then we look around to see if anyone heard us. Miley’s issue kind of reminds me of that.

If anyone has watched an interview with Miley you know then that she is actually quite intelligent and far ahead of her years, she is truly gifted. Miley also goes out of her way to encourage and lift others with her songs and in person. So, again, my take is that she did not mean her words the way they ‘read’; however, she also clearly showed a lack of understanding about the condition she discussed and did not consider members of her audience who may be struggling with ADHD. If she does have ADHD or ADD, it still is no surprise at how well she has done considering her natural talents with music and acting and moreover she has a strong support group and a caring father who has always been there to support her each and every step of the way, he was even there during the taping of American Idol this past week where she was a mentor to the contestants! By taking these things into account she may not have a true understanding of peer pressure and why her recent words have made the papers, because she hasn’t herself lived in the public systems and clicks, or lacked emotional and mental support.

We can all learn a little something with regard to the support Miley has received, but to most of us it isn’t even close to realistic. How many parents have a job when their child is always right there, nearby, or the funds etc…? There is so much to consider here. There are extremely major differences to consider when a person is raised with substantial funds, private schools and the support all the above provides, with or without ADHD.

All in all, despite all efforts, sometimes we will, or our children will, fall to peer pressure anyway. However, if we have a good idea of what it is and how to spot it, I think that decreases our chances, and our children’s chances, of going too far down the wrong path.

What’s your take on this?

What has helped you help others with peer pressure? Or has someone helped you avoid peer pressure?

~Bryan

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People with ADHD have enough problems without being compared to evil tyrants.

There are few things which upset me more than when someone with ADHD is called narcissistic. I compare the term closer to a curse word more than anything else when used to describe someone with ADHD.

Several rulers of the past who sought world domination are often described as the embodiment of narcissism. I agree with that, I go a step further and hazard to believe that they may have had narcissistic personality disorder, among other issues. We also tend to think of such rulers as evil, and why not, they utterly destroyed lives and ways of living. They deserved such terms; they earned them in various horrible, deceitful ways.

Although narcissism at times seems an accurate description of some of our behaviors to the blind eye of the uninformed, the term tends to ignore the symptoms of, and our realities with, ADHD, and therefore, why some with ADHD may behave in certain ways. ADHD is not a moral issue or character flaw, and although the term narcissism may not always be meant to describe our character per se, it does in fact come across that way.

Freud considered narcissism to be an essential part of the human make up. All of us have a bit of it, or we would throw our needs to the wind and only take care of others, which actually, some ADDers do as people pleasers, but that’s another topic.

If you point to any highly successful person with or without ADHD, someone who has achieved world champion status or strives for such excellence, you are bound to find someone with more narcissism than the average person. That’s the way it is. If it wasn’t, the standards for achieving such success would be lower than it is. 

Society in general has, especially over the last century, asked that individuals strive and strive and strive for more, for higher goals, for more of anything and everything. Sometimes it goes too far, but when a person with ADHD attains the pedestal, one of the most common terms I hear to describe that person is, narcissism.

How sad is that?

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t!

There are some with ADHD who do tend to come across as selfish and uncaring of others. It is a huge issue in relationships. One of the reasons for this is that we have a difficult time understanding many common communication cues, both spoken and unspoken, which does indeed make some of us appear, at times, to not be caring enough.

What comes as natural awareness to most people without ADHD, is usually not the case for us, we must learn these communication cues in order for us to facilitate them in a reasonable manner. If we don’t, our relationships will suffer and most will not last for an extended period of time, if they do last under these circumstances, I would say it’s a good chance that resentment will set in.

If we take into account that most of us diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood have been searching anxiously for answers to our behaviors for quite a long time, and well, yes, that could come across as selfish, even narcissistic to some.

When we search for answers to our very own behaviors, we invest a lot of time into self. It is also quite true too that once we have been diagnosed, the attention to self does not end. We still must learn ways to cope and overcome our internal struggles. There’s a lot of taking care of self involved and this does invariably take our attention away from others. Therefore, balance is necessary, but must be learned, we do have ADHD.

I am not even going to delve too deeply into the fact that many of us have been treated harshly for our ADHD behaviors, have felt like outcasts and have simply withdrawn for fear of criticism and further pain.

So, finally, yes, there are parts of our behavior which could, and often do, come across as narcissistic, selfish or self-seeking. I agree and I think a fair number of ADDers will agree; however, it does not mean we deserve the additional label: narcissistic.

We have the label of ADHD already, which has been construed as a degrading term for bad morals and undesirable character over the last couple decades. Such beliefs and discriptions are wrong. 

Not just wrong, but hurtful.

ADHD is only now starting to be clarified to the general public. Our symptoms and traits can, and frequently do, take many forms that cause enough confusion, which do play havoc in our lives and the lives of our family and partners, the label ADHD encompasses these symptoms and traits.

Yes, it takes awareness and effort to correct our behaviors, or at least improve them, but I dare say that cursing at us with such condemning terms as narcissism isn’t helpful. Yes, I do find it offensive. Simply because someone has ADHD, or succeeds with ADHD, does not necessarily mean they are selfish, egotistical or narcissistic.

I realize that not everyone who uses the word in conjunction to the behaviors of someone with ADHD means it to be insulting and hurtful, but just because they don’t mean it to be, doesn’t mean it isn’t.

I hope the use of such derogatory characterizations eventually stop, as understanding of what ADHD is becomes better known and acknowledged.

~Bryan

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Dr. Nancy Irwin is a renowned doctor of psychology and clinical hypnotherapist in private practice in Los Angeles.  She is also a public speaker on a variety of topics, including hypnosis the power of the subconscious mind.  She is also the author of a nonfiction: YOU-TURN: CHANGING DIRECTION IN MIDLIFE (http://www.makeayou-turn.comyou-turn.com), and is a frequent media expert, having appeared on CNBC, Bravo, CBS, as well as scores of radio shows and mentions in The New York Times, Cosmopolitan, msnbc.com, The Rachel Maddow Show, The Huffington Post, and more.

My first question is the obvious: Does hypnosis really work for people with ADHD?

Yes, it can work for any human being who is mentally stable, sober, and wants to overcome negative symptoms.   Basically, if you can sleep or be relaxed enough to receive a massage or meditate or do yoga, you can go into hypnotic trance.

Why is hypnosis effective for people with ADHD? 

Most ADHD-ers are dying to get off the “merry-go-round” of tension and anxiety.   I’ve treated many, and ironically the more hyper someone is, the faster and easier they are to get into trance!  I usually work with ADHD-ers and ADD-ers to gain focus, set realistic goals and attain them, be calmer, and use the condition as a gift vs. a “curse.”

Is everyone with ADHD a candidate for hypnosis treatment?

Nothing works for everyone (including medications). However, hypnosis cannot hurt anyone (as long as it is performed by a qualified professional), and anyone can learn self-hypnosis.  It’d be a great adjunct with medication and healthy lifestyle choices, and other self-monitoring techniques for managing ADHD.

Why is hypnosis not as common a treatment for ADHD as Medication or behavior modification therapy?

Because there are still so many who buy into the myths and old wives’ tales about hypnosis.  Stage hypnosis is the only frame of reference many have for hypnosis, and therapeutic hypnosis is nothing like that.  We treat health issues, motivation, confidence, goal attainment, and more – - not barking like a dog or singing like Elvis. Hypnosis certainly is becoming more mainstream, fortunately, and the trend will accelerate.  It is low-cost (compared to long-term therapy) and natural.  Hypnosis is a cognitive-behavioral (behavior modification) therapy.

The medical community has long recognized hypnosis for pain control.   The American Society for Clinical Hypnosis (ASCH) is a prestigious organization comprised of health professionals (psychiatrists, dentists, physicians, RNs, psychologists) who are fully trained and incorporate hypnosis in their practices.

I have some fear of being hypnotized. Is this a common issue? And how can I resolve my fear?

It’s about as scary as being massaged or praying.  It’s simply a deeply relaxed state where you are in between being fully awake and asleep.  You are not “out of it” or in a coma.  You will hear all that the hypnotist says, for the most part.  Many feel “zoned out” or “stoned” but always in control. Many people fear that the hypnotist will bring out deep, dark secrets….it doesn’t work that way.  It’s not a “truth serum.”  (People in stage hypnosis acts want to be hams and do the silly stunts.)   The hypnotist is not “in control” of the subject’s mind.  The subject is in control.  He/she is simply allowing the hypnotist to facilitate the process of directing the subject’s thoughts, and hence behaviors, in accordance with their conscious choice.  All hypnosis technically is self-hypnosis.  I can only re-wire your subconscious mind if you let me in!  For example, if you come in my office to become a non-smoker, and leave as one, I assure you I am not controlling you.  YOU are doing that yourself.   The hypnotist has no agenda of his/her own; we align the subject’s subconscious thoughts (“Help! My anxiety is outta control!”) with their conscious desires (“I want to be calm”).

You’re also a psychologist, is it necessary to treat a person with ADHD with traditional therapy and hypnosis? Or, is hypnosis enough?

The ideal treatment plan includes both.  The subject can learn self-hypnosis to manage their symptoms.

What is the most important thing for someone with ADHD, who is seeking hypnosis, to know about it?

Choose a certified hypnotherapist, if not a psychologist or psychiatrist who is trained in hypnosis, for maximum benefit.   Choose one who has experience with ADHD, or ask your psychologist or psychiatrist for a referral to one.  Or go on the ASCH website and seek a local referral yourself.

As always, thank you so very much for your time Dr. Nancy!

Thank YOU, Bryan.  Best of Health!!!! 

Dr. Nancy

Readers, we are currently having a contest to win Dr. Nancy Irwin’s book You Turn! on our ADDer World ADHD Social Network. You can learn more about it and participate here. To read more about Dr. Nancy Irwin, please visit her website and she is also a member of our ADDer World ADHD Social Network, you can say hello to her on her page here.

~Bryan

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~In Trust Me, family psychologist Kenneth Kaye and his son, Nick, use the experience of Nick’s struggle with what he calls “Attention Money Disorder” to combine a no-nonsense strategy, practical advice, business wisdom, and dozens of examples. They show you step by step how to negotiate a “Deal” with your young adult, rebuilding mutual trust and nurturing the skills and habits of a self-supporting grown-up.~

You can read more about the Kaye’s and their book “Trust Me” here

ALSO: To help celebrate the publication of my new book The Brilliant Reality of ADHD, I will be giving the winner of this contest a copy of that too. This contest will net you two books, if you happen to win!!

Member’s names will be put into a box and randomly selected to choose the winner.

How to get your name in the box:

1) Write a blog post, or, forum post, also replying to any blog, or, forum post will be considered an entry into the drawing box. Participation is the key, posting photos and music counts too! I will have help keeping track. This means that each time you do any of the above your name will be placed into the drawing box, yes, multiple times; however, it only takes one entry to win and only one entry can win! The more your name is in the box, the better your chances are to win. I do consider my personal blog a part of ADDer World, therefore, any member’s comments made there will be inputted for the contest too – just be sure to use the same email address that you have signed up here with.

2) If you would like to double your chances, any NEW member who uses your name as a referral will equal your name going into the box TWICE for that single referral.

This contest will run from 17 July 09 until 07 August 09 and the winner will be announced 08 August 09 via email and on the front page here! New members who join during this time will also be included into the drawing via the above rules. Only members of our ADDer World Social Network will be included in the drawing box.

If you have any questions please post them here 

If you have a blog, or, website please let your readers know about this contest! Remember, referrals count twice! Please spread the word and please let me know about it.

Are you excited? Remember, you can’t win if you don’t play!

Thanks,

Bryan

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Let’s give thanks that The Brilliant Reality of ADHD is finally seeing the light, we are discovering that there is more to ADHD than the negative connotation associated with the abbreviation.

The Brilliant Reality of ADHD is that you and I are not alone and we are possessing valuable talents and traits which are valuable not only to ourselves, but to the community as a whole. ADDers are the ones who were being left behind in society as misfits, but that is once again changing. Not every one of us will become the next Richard Branson, Albert Einstein or Michael Phelps, but thanks to ADDers such as them it is becoming more apparent that ADHD is not simply a negative reality. If anyone has noticed, and I have, many of the most successful over achievers of our time have ADHD! Is the negative stigma created to hold us back and make us feel lesser than others? Well, it’s not created to be that way, but one can argue that it has gotten carried away. To be successful with ADHD means being who you are as an individual, using our innate talents and traits for the good of self and others.

I was talking to a therapist recently and he explained to me that his treatment with ADDers is often not about the symptoms of ADHD, but rather the chastisement and ridicule they have suffered from and the expectations they have of doing things as those without ADHD would do them. After all, coaching, medication and most treatments for ADHD are to help ADDers be organized and perform as normal people are expected to. Even in relationships ADDers are expected to be a certain way and usually cannot meet those expectations without serious help and will power.

I am the first to admit that my ADDer tendencies helped lead to my divorce from my first wife and even so, there were two sides involved. The blame doesn’t fall entirely on the partner with ADHD, but it seems that this is becoming the excepted wisdom.

Okay, let’s be clear that we ADDers have a lot to overcome and it doesn’t matter if it is due to society or ourselves, we still have to work to improve ourselves. This goes for just about anyone and everyone. Who doesn’t want to improve who they are and do better in life for others and themselves? An ADDer could be wrong in a relationship and causing hardships, and also those without ADHD could be wrong in a relationship and causing hardships. Divorce is not limited to ADDers alone.

ADHD can be a gift. ADHD has positive attributes. ADDers tend to be creative and unorthodox thinkers who offer new insights and perspectives which lead to new inventions and creations. Even the mainstream media is catching on to recognizing that the reality of ADHD might not be as cut and dry as many have been lead to believe over the last couple decades. Here are two recent articles by Tara Parker-Pope which show how far we have come and how far we still have to go:

Can attention deficit be framed as a gift? Herald Tribune

Michael Phelps and the Potential of A.D.H.D. The New York Times

Indeed, ADHD is not all bad and we do not need to correct every little aspect of our natural nature of being. Let’s give thanks to each other for being the friends we are and coming together as a community of caring people who strive to be better, not simply because we have ADHD, but because we want to become better as human beings for which it is a natural process to want to improve and aspire for more.

~Bryan

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Too good to be true (the overnight millionaire scam) by Seth Godin

You probably don’t need to read this, but I bet you know people who do. Please feel free to repost or forward:

Times are tough, and many say they are going to be tougher. That makes some people more focused, it turns others desperate.

You may be tempted at some point to try to make a million dollars. To do it without a lot of effort or skill or risk. Using a system, some shortcut perhaps, or mortgaging something you already own.

There are countless infomercials and programs and systems that promise to help you do this. There are financial instruments and investments and documents you can sign that promise similar relief from financial stress.

Resist.

There are four ways to make a million dollars. Luck. Patient effort. Skill. Risk.

(Five if you count inheritance, and six if you count starting with two million dollars).

Conspicuously missing from this list are effortless 1-2-3 systems that involve buying an expensive book or series of tapes. Also missing are complicated tax shelters or other ‘proven’ systems. The harder someone tries to sell you this solution, the more certain you should be that it is a scam. If no skill or effort is required, then why doesn’t the promoter just hire a bunch of people at minimum wage and keep the profits?

There are literally a million ways to make a good living online, ten million ways to start and thrive with your own business offline. But all of these require effort, and none of them are likely to make you a million dollars.

Short version of my opinion: If someone offers to sell you the secret system, don’t buy it. If you need to invest in a system before you use it, walk away. If you are promised big returns with no risk and little effort, you know the person is lying to you. Every time.

By Seth Godin (click his head above to visit Seth’s blog)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Bryan

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It is not uncommon for family and friends to rebel against the ADHD label. It is a sad but true reality for many with ADHD. Adults can decide for themselves regardless of what their family believes, but children must live with whatever decision parents make regarding the diagnosis and that decision can last for a lifetime with the repercussions thereof.

First thing for parents, siblings and friends to realize is that it isn’t against you and it isn’t necessarily about you. A valid diagnosis is very important and can be a way to a better future with treatment, consideration and yes, a bit of compassion. Holding the diagnosis against anyone isn’t fair and it certainly isn’t helpful. If you really want to help a family member recently diagnosed with ADHD, then as a loved one you should take it seriously and learn as much as you can about it.

I have received literally hundreds of emails from readers thanking me for my book and articles, letting me know that I have helped, through the writing of my experiences and opinions, their family and/or friends better understand what they live with day to day and why an accurate diagnosis is so very importantly beneficial to all involved.

The question I receive quite frequently is why? Why are they (family, friends etc) against the diagnosis of ADHD? There are many reasons for this and therefore I have put together my top ten list of the most common reasons. These reasons are from my experiences and the experiences of the many, many questions I have received from those diagnosed with ADHD:

Top Ten reasons others rebel from the diagnosis of ADHD and therefore you do NOT have ADHD (opinions):

 

1. Confusion and Fear.
2. Do not understand what ADHD really is. Not understanding ADHD leads to fear, confusion and denial. Back to number 1.
3. Parents often think if their child has ADHD it is their fault. The reality is that no one is to blame for ADHD, not the parents or anyone else. Responsibility comes with diagnosis and what one does with that diagnosis.
4. You do not fit their understanding of what ADHD is; therefore you can’t possibly have it. This goes, in part, to reason number 1. There are so many contradictory reports and innuendo about ADHD that many, if not most, do not really understand what ADHD is. It is most helpful to research the reality of ADHD through physicians specializing in ADHD and request accurate information from ADHD resource centers such as ADDA and CHAD. ADHD is not an excuse; it is a reality and a reason for many of our behaviors.
5. The media has reported that ADHD is debilitating and that those with ADHD are less likely to do well. Yes, ADHD can be debilitating and it can cause those who have it to not do as well as their counterparts; however, with treatment, consideration and understanding those of us with ADHD can achieve great things and be a significant benefit to ourselves, society and the work force. Also, there is the other side of this which is not as often reported, many with ADHD are extremely intelligent and are very hard workers who do very, very well in the workforce, over achieving when compared to their counterparts. The problem with the ADHD overachievers is that they are often hyper focused on doing extra and continuously improving at work which leaves little room for other things in their life. With treatment balance can be found between work and personal life.
6. Personal beliefs that ADHD and other Learning disorders do not really exist and are an excuse.
7. Because if you have ADHD others will treat you badly or automatically think you are going to be a failure. Therefore, it is better to not admit to diagnosis or at least keep it a secret. This goes back to deep rooted confusion and misunderstandings of what ADHD is and how the different types affect people. I know many with ADHD who are extremely successful and there are many who have been able to utilize their talents and traits to benefit others as well as themselves. Doctors, lawyers, CEOs and many other high profile successful people are amongst the career categories for those with ADHD. Not everyone will be as successful as say, Richard Branson or Michael Phelps who also have ADHD. Then again, not everyone without ADHD will be as successful as Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan either.
8. The pharmaceutical industry has made ADHD up to sell their products. Give us a break. Whoever believes this is in need of accurate information, the problem here is that those who believe this type of propaganda are usually not going to be willing to read the facts and understand the reality of ADHD.
9. Recognize self through your ADHD characteristics. This is more often the case in families. Your traits may remind the person of them self and therefore could indicate to them that they too have ADHD. This reality, or belief, could bring on denial and added with misunderstood media reports and other confusion over what ADHD is makes this person want to convince you that ADHD could not possibly be the case.
10. Other personal reasons.

The reasons I have listed here are only the tip of the iceberg and are not part of any official report, just my opinions which you can take or leave. It’s impossible to know every reason that others want to deny that you have ADHD or that ADHD even exists. If you have encountered a reason and would like to share that reason, please feel free to add by commenting below.

Those who have ADHD are not predisposed to failure. Actually, I believe the opposite to be true. So many ADDers I have met are very hard workers and have unique talents and traits which are a benefit to the community at large and the work force. When you get past all the scientific reports and media reports about the negative aspects of ADHD which confuse so many people it becomes clear that ADDers are possessed with many unique talents which are of benefit.

I met a young lady who had been working in a cubicle for ten years, just getting by, until her boss noticed her drawings, she had no major specialized education or a college degree, but her talents were so obvious and clear that the CEO of that company wanted to meet her and then promoted her to a very high position where she has become very successful and she is well known today. The company benifited and she did too. The reality is, if you have ADHD, or not, and you can be a benefit, it comes down to exactly that. Businesses are about dollars and cents, we know that and if you can help increase those dollars and cents with your ADDer talents, it is unlikely that they are going to be passed up. Businesses deal in what works and making a profit.

I am not saying this will happen for everyone, but I am saying that ADHD does not predispose anyone to failure. There are some instances where ADHD is co morbid with serious other issues which may be untreated. In these cases it is very important that a proper diagnosis is utilized with proper treatment. I personally think this is where the main issue and confusion about ADHD comes in, when people have more serious underlying issues which go unchecked. Therefore, denial can be detrimental.

If you want to have a chance, you have got to give yourself a chance. Proper diagnosis does that and the validity of diagnosis does not come down to an opinion from someone else in your family or a friend, it comes from the trained professionals who understand and treat ADHD.

Many readers have used my book to help their friends and family better understand how important diagnosis is and also understand the reality of being undiagnosed with ADHD for so long. Even if I say so, One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir – Surviving Life with Undiagnosed ADD is a good read whether you have ADHD or not, and it sincerely humbles me that it is helping many understand our reality who do not have ADHD and are confused by it. If you have read my book please pass it on to friends or family, loan it out and maybe it will help as it has helped others in these cases.

Bryan

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This is an important article which helps to demystify the confusing, and often worrisome, information out there on stimulant medication and ADHD. I am making it available to you here on ADDer World, please feel free to download and read:

ADHD and Stimulants – Harvard Review of Psychiatry

It (1) summarizes the existing knowledge of ADHD, (2) provides the
relevant history and trends, (3) explains the controversy, (4) discusses
what is and is not unique about ADHD and stimulant pharmacotherapy, (5)
outlines future directions of research, and (6) concludes with a brief
analysis of how two North Carolina counties have established community
protocols that have improved the screening, treatment, and societal
consensus over ADHD and stimulants.

~Bryan

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I just read a very good article by Dr. Eleanor Rolnick about a decade long Norwegian study involving 23 children with ADHD who were put on milk free and gluten free diets. The theory that milk and gluten interfere with the breakdown of certain proteins was developed by Dr. Karl Ludvig. The theory is a metabolic predicament which seems to be triggered when eating milk and gluten and therefore may accelerate ADHD. 22 of the children in the study showed almost immediate mental health improvement, overall behavior, as well as enhanced attention span with increased learning capabilities!

“Long term monitoring of these children has found their disorders to be manageable while the challenges they once faced have virtually disappeared.” – www.keepmecurrent.com

So, what do I think of this? Actually, I must concur with the results of this study, with the results of my own recent diet change! It has been long noted that after eating is when kids usually have the most problems and so it was noted with me too, when looking back in time. That, I believe, is why we blame so many problems on sugar, even though it has been disproven that sugar is the culprit. Many still believe sugar to be the main issue, but that is because problems seem to occur most frequently after meals! In some cases, with allergies for example, it might not be obvious because symptoms can occur hours or even a day or two later.

I was having more serious issues a few months ago and my symptoms were escalating. I talked about it with a good friend of mine, Gina Pera, and she recommended asking Dr. Charles Parker about it. You may remember a recent post I did with Dr. Charles Parker when I interviewed him. He knew right away that my symptoms went further than ADHD symptoms and were indicative of a metabolic issue. He asked me about gluten and milk specifically. Turns out I am allergic to wheat and dairy products. Furthermore, because of where I live, I was vitamin D deficient!

I have nearly eliminated gluten and dairy products from my diet. And I feel much better. As a matter of fact so many issues I was suffering from have either gone away or have significantly improved! What I appreciate most in this diet is that my mood is so much more even. I am able to think things through much better and see the good in things I might not have noticed before. The improvement from eliminating gluten and dairy products is nothing short of remarkable. Yes, I still have ADHD, but it is far more manageable and the positive sides of ADHD are easier to access now!

A good place to visit and learn more is Dr. Charles Parker’s blog. He has written quite a bit about ADHD and metabolic issues. The original article about this Norwegian study can be found here.

Please, remember that I am only relating my personal experience and it is important to see a doctor before making any diet changes or other health related changes. Milk is also known to be good for those who do not have dairy/milk allergies or other negative health issues concerning milk.

Have you tried any such diet changes? What were the results?

~Bryan

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