Comments for ADDER WORLD ADD ADHD Positive Thinking

Comment on Physciatric Therapy and ADHD by Katy B.

Katy B. — Sun, 14 Mar 2010 03:14:57 +0000

I freaking love my therapist, and my ADHD boyfriend also loves his therapist.

Being diagnosed with ADHD made my life make soooo much more sense, and my therapist has been there for all of the great, moving realizations I’ve had about my life, my family, everything, with this new context of “I have ADHD”. There’s also a lot of non-ADHD stuff that she’s been great at helping me to work through.

You couldn’t pay me a million dollars to make me stop going to therapist. It’s not always easy, but it’s ALWAYS worthwhile and helpful.

If you go to one and just don’t like them, you can try a different one…sometimes it’s about fit…but when you find a good fit, you won’t be sorry.

Comment on You can’t take it back – what is said is said – ADHD impulsivity by Tess Messer

Tess Messer — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 14:42:11 +0000

I believe that one of the most difficult things for parents of Hyperactive/Impulsive ADHD children to learn is to take the things that these kids say to you, no matter how hurtful, with a huge pound of salt.

It is one thing to say the first thing that comes to your mind and be embarrassed. That is bad but it is a complete ‘home wrecker’ when the first thing that comes to your mind is really dark, really angry, and really vengeful.

Many Hyperactive/Impulsive children cannot control those ‘home wrecker’ thoughts. They often feel so out of control and frustrated that they find it impossible to shake off this constant irritability that they live with.

It is almost like they have this terrible thing that is stuck to their brain, a crown of thorns, filled with negative thoughts, sadness, anger, despair. They blurt out that they hate you, that you are the worst parent in the world, and that they wish that you were dead, when what they really mean to say is;

“Mommy, the pain in my head is unbearable. I am so sad, so frustrated, and so angry that I cannot control the things that I say. I am trying my best, Mommy, so how can this possibly be my fault? Please help me Mommy, I am a child and children should not have to bear a brain that is so out of control and so difficult.”

Learning to hear those words instead of the words that the Hyperactive/Impulsive child is screaming at you is a skill that takes practice and patience but I believe that if a parent can master it, they may well be giving their child an ADHD treatment more effective and more valuable than money can buy.

Thanks for getting me to think about this Brian!!

http://primarilyinattentiveadd.com

Comment on You can’t take it back – what is said is said – ADHD impulsivity by tere

tere — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 04:19:35 +0000

One of the worst losses of my life occured as a result of this symptom. I lost the best friend I have ever had, truly a platonic soul mate when I blurted out something hateful that I meant, but never, ever should have said to her in a total “ADD Moment” I have wished I could take back ever since. She had stopped by to chat with me after work one day and we were hanging out as usual when she told me that she and her fiance were considering having a child together. She already had two children and was not a very patient, loving, or giving mom to them at all. Without even thinking, I blurted out “Oh, for God’s sake, why don’t you figure out how to take care of the two you already have before you think of bringing another one into the world?” The look of shock and pain on her face after I dropped that bomb will haunt me for the rest of my life. She walked out of my house and out of my life that day and that was 10 years ago and not a day has gone by that I haven’t missed her. I am afraid to get too close to people now except my husband and kids because I don’t trust myself to behave appropriately all the time despite my best intentions. This is one of the biggest regrets of my life, and it is all very much a part of the wonderful world of ADD.

Comment on Physciatric Therapy and ADHD by Kimberly

Kimberly — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:43:15 +0000

Hello, My son had ADHD and is on medicationto help him balance himself and be able to study. We go to a famlity therapist and it really does help us. When he was very little we went quite often as we were in the process of discovery and diagnosis. More recently and as he had gotten older we are going much less as he has other outlets – sports, friends, school etc. I found that having a therepist has helped to provide a neutral place for him to talk about whatever is on his mind without the fear of judgement. It has also helped him to find the words to understand and express what it is like for him to have ADHD. I strongly believe that therpay is a huge component to managing life with adhd. My hope is that as he grows into a man he will continue to gather tools for his toolkit so that as an adult his ADHD is just a fact of life and not something he is ashamed of or hindered by. I have every confidence that we can help him do this.

Comment on Physciatric Therapy and ADHD by Mindy

Mindy — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:22:48 +0000

Bryan,
Days have changed much I think over the years as far as the stigma of going to see a counselor or saying you are on antidepressents. Now it seems you are no cool if you are not doing one of the above.

We have more of choice out there as far as therapy. When I first found out I had ADD I saw one person for my meds and then another counselor. This counselor had no idea about ADD. She would drive me crazy because she would give me handouts and show me pictures of rocks and which meant you were happy or sad. What that had to do with what I was going through, I have no idea.

I finally asked the counselor, I was seeing for meds, if she would take me on for counseling instead of the other counselor. She said yes. I was lucky because she knew all about ADD and has it herself, so how much better can you get. I sometimes think that if it was not for her I do not know where I would be.I could say anything I wanted and she would finish my sentence sometimes, which is funny in itself.

If you feel like you are ready to make that step towards seeing a counselor, THEN DO IT! Do your homework and see if that person knows and belives in ADD/ADHD. If you find a counselor, which I hope you do, you will feel so much better. I feel like my appoinments are my 45 minutes of freedom and able to be me.

If you do not feel the person you are seeing, do not stick with them—-go find another one. I did and glad I did..

Try it you will like it and will help you get through so many things that you are so down on yourself about.

Good Luck,

Mindy

Comment on You can’t take it back – what is said is said – ADHD impulsivity by Bryan Hutchinson

Bryan Hutchinson — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 07:02:41 +0000

Welcome to ADDer World Wendy, I am glad you found us! “ADHD doesn’t exist!?” What?! I am cured?! Oh, I never had it. Whatever! You’re with us now Over time I have discovered there is a huge difference between the way we describe ADHD and those who do not have ADHD describe it, even when it comes to some without ADHD, but know the symptoms and behaviors better than I do! There’s emotion and personal experience missing from the inside. This isn’t necessarily always a bad thing, sometimes it is a good thing – depending on who it is coming from, of course!

I look forward to reading more about you and your life with ADHD!

Bryan

Comment on You can’t take it back – what is said is said – ADHD impulsivity by Wendy

Wendy — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 22:49:13 +0000

Having only recently joined this group (never having blogged or joined chat groups before in my life!) I am so so so so relating to all this… everything I read I relate to and Bryan, I could not agree more – that those who do not have ADHD cannot begin to understand nor describe what goes on in our heads every day. I have found it so frustrating when well intentioned friends say stuff like “oh everyone gets embarrassed by stuff they have said now and then” or “its perfectly normal for everyone to get a bit forgetful, its not ADHD” …”its just your personality, go easy on yourself”… “but you can concentrate – look at all the degrees you have” blah blah blah…

… I’ve just begun a wonderful journey of accepting who I am and your site is awesome and I am looking forward to purchasing your books, both those already published and especially the one to come!

By the way, just to let you know, even though diagnosed almost a year ago I was too chicken to search for stuff on the net about ADHD because of all the negative stuff I read initially and all the stigma, bad press saying its a made up condition. I actually stumbled across your site by accident – when my youngest (11 yr old) daughter – diagnosed 2008 – screamed at me one morning in one of her frustrating self-depreciating moments, “Mum, I can’t even get my hair right, I’m just a stupid ADHD idiot – not Einstein OKAY!!” and this particular time, my response was to say “hey many people believe Einstein had ADHD – sorry kiddo can’t convince me your stupid” I then promptly googled Einstein and ADHD so as to give her evidence that I wasn’t making it up.

When I later sat down to browse some of the sites that came up on from the google search many negative “it doesn’t exist” sites came up (of course) including one saying we are just harming our creative geniuses by labeling them and drugging them. I almost gave up reading stuff again… but somehow I got to your site … and I read and read and read …. And joined – That was a few days ago and it has opened up a whole new world for me! THANK YOU

Comment on You can’t take it back – what is said is said – ADHD impulsivity by Bryan Hutchinson

Bryan Hutchinson — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:39:18 +0000

Yeah Katy! I know you have Jeff have read my first book “One Boy’s Struggle” and within that book I discuss my life with ADHD, as well as PTSD, and I mentioned this issue about recalling a moment (saying something, doing something) and remembering it year’s later again and again, cringing, regretting. What I mean to say here is, isn’t it just absolutely incredible how closely we can relate. I know there are some who help us or assist us that don’t have ADHD, but it is so true that to know us, to understand us, is to be one of us, to live what we have lived and to experience the experiences we have experienced! What amazes me is that when I first wrote “One Boy’s Struggle” I had yet to meet you or Jeff, or so many ADDers like I have come to know and relate to over the last few years.

Amazing isn’t it!?!

Bryan

Comment on You can’t take it back – what is said is said – ADHD impulsivity by Katy B.

Katy B. — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:28:34 +0000

“When I read this post there was a related problem that came to mind. I’ll call it “the embarrassment echo.” It’s the embarrassment you felt when you said something wrong and then, years later, whatever you said still echoes in your head – often accompanied by that same feeling of embarrassment. It’s like you are reliving that moment again and again.”

JEFF: YES, TOTALLY KNOW WHAT YOU’RE SAYING.

And tangents…dammit…I really hate my tangents sometimes. I get really embarrassed about that.

Comment on You can’t take it back – what is said is said – ADHD impulsivity by Katy B.

Katy B. — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:26:06 +0000

Haaaaaaaaa…sometimes I love the stuff that flies out of my mouth. (Sometimes I don’t.)

The latest hilarity…I take my boyfriend to the ER last week. I’m sitting on his bed and he’s joking that it’s going to take so long for someone to get around to seeing him that we may as well make the most of it. Nurse comes in. Says she’s there to check his vital signs…as she’s putting a sensor on his finger to check his pulse I am suddenly confronted in my head with the comment “I think you’re checking the wrong body part.”…I tried to be good…and I didn’t say it…but I was sitting there on the bed and was suddenly doubled over laughing hysterically…and couldn’t stop…she finally asked what was wrong…I told her my ADHD meds had worn off, because dammit, if you can’t say it in a hospital, where CAN you say it…after she left, I told him and he thought it was funny to so then there were 2 ADHDers giggling relentlessly.

I really love watching him try to control his comments too…yesterday we’re visiting his parents and I notice as everyone’s talking that he suddenly gets his “I’m about to say something I shouldn’t” face, but he’s laughing in his head, then he’s nervous because he’s afraid he’s going to say it, then his mouth starts to twitch. You can always see it all right there on his face, a whole gamut of mechanical acts of restraint. I asked him what it was later and it really was a good thing he hadn’t said anything!