Comments on: Living with an ADD ADHD Partner http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/ Bryan Hutchinson's thoughts about ADD ADHD Attention Deficit Disorder and other stuff Sun, 06 May 2012 01:22:33 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.3 By: Dee http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-106398 Dee Thu, 23 Feb 2012 23:44:42 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/#comment-106398 Hi, I am a 43 year old and have tonight just realised I have ADD! I am SO relived as it answers SO many problems I have had in my life. I also have a 22 year old son with un diagnosed ADHD. I feel I have found your web site for a reason, and have enjoyed the stories people have shared. I would so like to speak to someone about my current life situation. My son is in a terrible amount of trouble and desperately needs diagnosis. I have read that ADHD also can be connected with other disruptive dis-orders which I believe he has. Could you kindly contact as soon as is convenient please! Thanks very much! Hi,
I am a 43 year old and have tonight just realised I have ADD! I am SO relived as it answers SO many problems I have had in my life. I also have a 22 year old son with un diagnosed ADHD.
I feel I have found your web site for a reason, and have enjoyed the stories people have shared. I would so like to speak to someone about my current life situation. My son is in a terrible amount of trouble and desperately needs diagnosis. I have read that ADHD also can be connected with other disruptive dis-orders which I believe he has. Could you kindly contact as soon as is convenient please! Thanks very much!

]]> By: Marie http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-49891 Marie Mon, 07 Mar 2011 13:18:35 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/#comment-49891 My partner has ADHD. Our biggest battle is when she responds without thinking and the response is usually blunt and she does not think about how it might come out of her mouth. Typically it's not very nice but she does not mean for it to sound that way. So, when I bring it up she doesn't even realize it. HELP! PLEASE! My partner has ADHD. Our biggest battle is when she responds without thinking and the response is usually blunt and she does not think about how it might come out of her mouth. Typically it’s not very nice but she does not mean for it to sound that way. So, when I bring it up she doesn’t even realize it. HELP! PLEASE!

]]> By: Erin http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-49833 Erin Sat, 05 Mar 2011 17:28:23 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/#comment-49833 Very nice of you to post this, Bryan. I've been in a relationship with a guy for a little under 2 years. He moved in with me about a year ago. It started out a long distance relationship and I didn't see any problems with the fact he has ADHD. Recently it has been becoming issues with me asking him to do things and he "forgets" or just doesn't do it because he doesn't "understand why it should have to be done"(he says) He does take on the childish "I'm not doing it because you didn't" level similar to what Bree mentioned. I have suggested he go see a doctor and maybe get on some medications but he says he has no interest. I would like him to get help but he won't instead I'm trying to find ways to cope with it..even tho I think he should too for himself. Very nice of you to post this, Bryan. I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for a little under 2 years. He moved in with me about a year ago. It started out a long distance relationship and I didn’t see any problems with the fact he has ADHD. Recently it has been becoming issues with me asking him to do things and he “forgets” or just doesn’t do it because he doesn’t “understand why it should have to be done”(he says) He does take on the childish “I’m not doing it because you didn’t” level similar to what Bree mentioned. I have suggested he go see a doctor and maybe get on some medications but he says he has no interest. I would like him to get help but he won’t instead I’m trying to find ways to cope with it..even tho I think he should too for himself.

]]> By: Bryan Hutchinson http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-38606 Bryan Hutchinson Sat, 31 Jul 2010 07:33:26 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/#comment-38606 Hi Bree, I am sorry to hear about your situation and, unfortunately, it's not that uncommon. He's very lucky to have you and unlucky to lose you, but then again, luck has nothing to do with that. I can't tell you if medication will help him; however, I can tell you that medication is helping so many already. What he really needs first is help, professional help for ADHD. I am sure he has many issues you don't even know about and he might not even understand them himself. Try to suggest seeking out a specialist to treat his ADHD and any co morbid he might have. Untreated ADHD can be devastating to relationships, if he is not willing to get help or recognize that he does indeed need help, it might be time to look out for #1. Bests, Bryan Hi Bree,

I am sorry to hear about your situation and, unfortunately, it’s not that uncommon. He’s very lucky to have you and unlucky to lose you, but then again, luck has nothing to do with that. I can’t tell you if medication will help him; however, I can tell you that medication is helping so many already. What he really needs first is help, professional help for ADHD. I am sure he has many issues you don’t even know about and he might not even understand them himself. Try to suggest seeking out a specialist to treat his ADHD and any co morbid he might have. Untreated ADHD can be devastating to relationships, if he is not willing to get help or recognize that he does indeed need help, it might be time to look out for #1.

Bests,

Bryan

]]> By: bree http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-38546 bree Wed, 28 Jul 2010 16:04:04 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/#comment-38546 i just got married five months ago to a 31 year old man who has sever adhd. i love him with all my heart and want to be with him but its gotten to the point where i can't handel all the drama and chaos anymore. i moved in with my parents for several reasons but the main one is i've went down to his childish level. i over look that i know he will never finish any task in the house like cleaning, picking up after him self, or remembering to pack his lunch for work. i have copies of every key he has because he looses them and that he never remembers to lock the door, that's all ok. he always asks me where things are befor he even looks for them so i made it my job to know where he usually puts all his important things like his shoes or check book. but the lying, saying inappropriate, disrespectful, and rude things to me and other people, ungrateful and "i'm better than everyone else" attitude, talking non-stop and telling everyone his one-sided stories that usually glorify himself; he insist on being the head of the house hold but is running us in to dept because of impuslive spending and not keeping up with our budget. he cant keep a job and reciently has gotten fired twice in the last two months for not finishing jobs and insulting his co-workers and customers. the list goes on and on and he's even become abusive. i can't take it, i'm only human! i really don't believe in divorce but it's already heading down that road. i feel sorry for him because his addopted mother enables his behavior. do you think medication will help him?? i just got married five months ago to a 31 year old man who has sever adhd. i love him with all my heart and want to be with him but its gotten to the point where i can’t handel all the drama and chaos anymore. i moved in with my parents for several reasons but the main one is i’ve went down to his childish level. i over look that i know he will never finish any task in the house like cleaning, picking up after him self, or remembering to pack his lunch for work. i have copies of every key he has because he looses them and that he never remembers to lock the door, that’s all ok. he always asks me where things are befor he even looks for them so i made it my job to know where he usually puts all his important things like his shoes or check book. but the lying, saying inappropriate, disrespectful, and rude things to me and other people, ungrateful and “i’m better than everyone else” attitude, talking non-stop and telling everyone his one-sided stories that usually glorify himself; he insist on being the head of the house hold but is running us in to dept because of impuslive spending and not keeping up with our budget. he cant keep a job and reciently has gotten fired twice in the last two months for not finishing jobs and insulting his co-workers and customers. the list goes on and on and he’s even become abusive. i can’t take it, i’m only human! i really don’t believe in divorce but it’s already heading down that road. i feel sorry for him because his addopted mother enables his behavior. do you think medication will help him??

]]> By: Caitlin http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-37136 Caitlin Thu, 10 Jun 2010 11:41:51 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/#comment-37136 Wow this is amazing, Dolly and Rachael - if you feel like i wouldn't mind talking with you via email woods.cp@homail.com I'm in a relationship with anADHD man, for so long i was so confused byhis behaviour and the way it made me feel, but the more i read (about ADHD) the more comfortable i feel I guess i'm quite a sensitive person, and his behaviour towards me occasionally has blown me away - exceeding all my knight-in-shining-armour dreams - but very very often has made me so distressed, so sad, SO confused! He's 30 and by now he knows pretty much how to manage himelf to keep himself calm, but mostly it involes not sharing, and not engaging or interacting too much. For so long i felt i justwasn't good enough, that nothing i did was interesting or appealing enough, and that i wasn't attractive enough, as to why i felt no recognition from my boyfriend. (even though in my rational mind i know this isn't the case). I find it very hard to keep my rationality in control of my emotions with him - especially when we used to fight, now we just avoid fighting. I don't want to end the relationship because god knows i adore him, and god knows i've tried so hard, even if i couldn't findthe right ways, to establish a more connected relationhip with him, and i believe with time, trust and familarity that will come. But by now all my family and friends know how much tumoil i've been through, and of course i value them just as much. I wish there was an easy way to explainad justify it to them. I guess the hardest thing i've had to deal with is his criticism of ME. small honest mistakes attract reactions which seem very unreasonable and are VERY hurtful. he's insulted me in many ways (for things that neither I nor anyone else ever thought would be problems) i found it so hard to regain my self esteem. Sometimes it feels like we're two Escher pictures, in black and white, butperfectly inverse of each other Really appreciated reading this story Brian Thanks and regards Caitlin Wow this is amazing, Dolly and Rachael – if you feel like i wouldn’t mind talking with you via email
woods.cp@homail.com
I’m in a relationship with anADHD man, for so long i was so confused byhis behaviour and the way it made me feel, but the more i read (about ADHD) the more comfortable i feel
I guess i’m quite a sensitive person, and his behaviour towards me occasionally has blown me away – exceeding all my knight-in-shining-armour dreams – but very very often has made me so distressed, so sad, SO confused!
He’s 30 and by now he knows pretty much how to manage himelf to keep himself calm, but mostly it involes not sharing, and not engaging or interacting too much. For so long i felt i justwasn’t good enough, that nothing i did was interesting or appealing enough, and that i wasn’t attractive enough, as to why i felt no recognition from my boyfriend. (even though in my rational mind i know this isn’t the case). I find it very hard to keep my rationality in control of my emotions with him – especially when we used to fight, now we just avoid fighting. I don’t want to end the relationship because god knows i adore him, and god knows i’ve tried so hard, even if i couldn’t findthe right ways, to establish a more connected relationhip with him, and i believe with time, trust and familarity that will come. But by now all my family and friends know how much tumoil i’ve been through, and of course i value them just as much. I wish there was an easy way to explainad justify it to them.
I guess the hardest thing i’ve had to deal with is his criticism of ME. small honest mistakes attract reactions which seem very unreasonable and are VERY hurtful. he’s insulted me in many ways (for things that neither I nor anyone else ever thought would be problems) i found it so hard to regain my self esteem.
Sometimes it feels like we’re two Escher pictures, in black and white, butperfectly inverse of each other
Really appreciated reading this story Brian
Thanks and regards
Caitlin

]]> By: aj http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-36136 aj Wed, 05 May 2010 11:28:44 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/#comment-36136 p.s sorry for the spelling jus read it over lol, im dislexic or however you spell it, me and dan make a right pair lol (abbie-jane 20 essex england) p.s sorry for the spelling jus read it over lol, im dislexic or however you spell it, me and dan make a right pair lol (abbie-jane 20 essex england)

]]> By: aj http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-36135 aj Wed, 05 May 2010 11:23:40 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/#comment-36135 i have jus fallen i love with someone who brighentens up my day because of his unique qualties as a person and a certian label adhd. i can say for sure life will never be boring. i have read the comments to Bryan's blog and i will continue to read about adhd as i want to understand him better. although tired at times his adhd is more of a blessing than anything else coz he would not be him without it. he nearly took his life twice two months before we got together. because of his isolation and past relationships hurting him (even now he takes 50mg of antidepressants), but i will spend every moment of the day reminding him how great he is and normality sucks his world is way more fun and im more than happy to be included in it as a world without him is a very boring and sad place. regards a very happy abbie (ba- sociology and supprort worker for childern with learning dis from essex england) i have jus fallen i love with someone who brighentens up my day because of his unique qualties as a person and a certian label adhd. i can say for sure life will never be boring. i have read the comments to Bryan’s blog and i will continue to read about adhd as i want to understand him better. although tired at times his adhd is more of a blessing than anything else coz he would not be him without it. he nearly took his life twice two months before we got together. because of his isolation and past relationships hurting him (even now he takes 50mg of antidepressants), but i will spend every moment of the day reminding him how great he is and normality sucks his world is way more fun and im more than happy to be included in it as a world without him is a very boring and sad place. regards a very happy abbie (ba- sociology and supprort worker for childern with learning dis from essex england)

]]> By: Bryan Hutchinson http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-32569 Bryan Hutchinson Fri, 12 Feb 2010 01:28:05 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/#comment-32569 Rachael, thanks for stopping by and commenting. I think it is very important for communication. In my upcoming book I tell how Joan discovered a GREAT approach to discussing things of concern with me. It's important, I think, for your partner to understand your concerns and take them just as serious as his own. The approach is what's most important. Remember, though, honey attracts more than just bees’ attention :) Bryan Rachael, thanks for stopping by and commenting. I think it is very important for communication. In my upcoming book I tell how Joan discovered a GREAT approach to discussing things of concern with me. It’s important, I think, for your partner to understand your concerns and take them just as serious as his own. The approach is what’s most important. Remember, though, honey attracts more than just bees’ attention :)

Bryan

]]> By: Bryan Hutchinson http://www.adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-32568 Bryan Hutchinson Fri, 12 Feb 2010 01:24:54 +0000 http://adderworld.com/blog1/2008/01/01/living-with-an-add-adhd-partner/#comment-32568 Hi Dolly, You can send me a private message on the ADDer World Social Network www.adderworld.ning.com I am glad you are enjoying the blog :) Bryan Hi Dolly,

You can send me a private message on the ADDer World Social Network http://www.adderworld.ning.com I am glad you are enjoying the blog :)

Bryan

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