Although every day, I think of something I thought I wouldn’t have. I’m not going back to cigs, I don’t even want to. Of course I get the cravings, but when I see the damage I did to myself over the past 8 years, especially now that I’m experiencing the cold symptoms (cough, lungs clearing tar, excessive mucus), I don’t want to go back to hurting myself.

I’m proud of who I am, what I’m putting myself through. I am finally facing my problems, without running to nicotine for help.

My husband (non-ADD) and I both smoked. I loved being able to get away from my desk when I was at work and think for a few minutes away from the noise of the office. I tried many, many times to quit, not because I wanted to (I never really wanted to) but because of “peer pressure” if you will. If someone told me about the dangers of smoking, the health benefits of quitting, and other mother-earth, health-freak mumbo jumbo, I had an intense urge to light up and blow a huge cloud of smoke into their face (you know as a “f** you” kind of gesture)!

I was on the verge of quitting and somehow, one day the stars just aligned and I stopped buying them. I had been taking Wellbutrin (aka Zyban) and maybe that had a little to do with it, but I’d been on it before with no such effect. As it turned out, my husband was going to be out of town quite a bit in the upcoming weeks so it was easier to not smoke without him there (he hadn’t quit yet). I had to also use nic patches to tame down the hate/tear/destroy feeling I had towards humankind.

It was tough. First of all, I didn’t know I had ADD then (I was diagnosed about 6 months ago). I’m telling you what I experienced because I had no idea what to expect.

The first day, not so bad. The second day, craving a bit more, the 3rd day, I had panic attacks. My body/brain wasn’t used to not smoking anymore. I just had to push through the first 3 weeks before there were signs of hope. Be prepared for the brain fog to set in pretty thick. I couldn’t think clearly for weeks, in fact, I didn’t regain the clarity I had when smoking until I started Adderall. I wanted to eat and eat and eat. Carbs mostly. I saw drinking mentioned, my husband (finally quit smoking a few weeks after me) and I were drinking amazing amounts of alcohol and as a result gained 40 pounds each. I’ve just lost 5, but that’s more a result of the fish oil capsules I started taking a month ago.

Thinking back, once I started on Adderall, I finally stopped thinking of cigarettes on a daily basis. Seriously, for 2.5 years, not a day went by that I didn’t think of swinging by the store to grab a pack.

Honestly, the only thing I like about not smoking is that air travel is a lot easier because all the airports are getting rid of their smoking areas. My endurance did not go up, I did not feel healthier, and now I don’t have an excuse to walk away from whatever I’m doing for a moment to have a smoke. I even regret that restaurants have gotten rid of smoking areas, because before, no one wanted their kids to be exposed to cigarette smoke (god forbid!!). Now we have to sit with the crying babies and whiny children like everyone else…

Anyway, I don’t know if this helps or hurts, but I’m just sharing my experiences and opinions. Because we’re ADD, the best time I can figure to quit is when you know you are going to be able to have a long(-ish) period of time that won’t be stressful. That’s all I have to say about that!

Sorry so long! Good luck.

Kelly

P.S. Now they need a pill for chocolate.

I was in the hospital for five days on morphine, so it was pretty much a no-brainer to let the Nurses deal with my detox rather than my roomates.

After I got home, I had to mourn the cigarettes like dear dead friends. Those friends hated me, yes. But until I gave them the respect they deserved for how much I depended on them, I was not fully able to put them behind me and move on. It took about a year before the cravings stopped.

There is no shame in needing a coping mechanism; calling them “dirty” serves only to send you back to a place where you need them again. You loved them; they rocked; now it’s time to move on.

Patches and gum really worked for me if I wanted to stay addicted to nicotine without any of the sensory pleasures/rudeness.

Yes, I remember feeling more focused after smoking. It also gave me something to fiddle with. Pot does that too (look at contradictory effects of meds on ADHD). While research shows it’s use is slightly less likely to lead to lung cancer than no smoking at all, I’m not sure about studies regarding it’s use in quitting Nicotine–Although I have seen things written about using it to quit opiate and alcohol addiction. Interesting times.

If nothing else, remember that there’s nothing like kissing with fresh lungs. Mmmm. So worth it.