Comments on: Peer Pressure and ADHD

By: LeahD

LeahD — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 09:08:44 +0000

Hi Larry. Yes, it was actually devastating to learn that while most of my life was spent being essentially “wrong” in the eyes of others, I had this unknown neurobiological anomaly. However, I have come more and more to realize that I am the only one living my life, and I will do what I need to do even in the face of others’ disapproval. The huge HMO I belong to treats ADD/HD as a minor issue, with a short test used for diagnosis and a drug prescription as the only treatment offered. (I live in California.) I am becoming motivated to campaign for a progressive change in their approach, so that will be interesting. Thanks for your feedback.

By: The Attention Doctor

The Attention Doctor — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 01:00:13 +0000

Excellent points. People with ADD often have great difficulty saying no appropriately. They are so starved for approval, so raw interpersonally, that even when they know on some level that that they are unlikely to be able to follow through on the request being made, they say yes anyway, setting the stage for the next round of failure and insecurity. Thanks for bringing up this important topic.

By: LARRY VIGGO

LARRY VIGGO — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 11:29:56 +0000

Hello,Leah. I am 56. How you feel about being a mature person with ADHD? I did not get diagnosed until I was 48. It bothers me that it took so long to get diagnosed. I would have made different choices in life,if I had the knowledge and understanding of this. Everything made sense 8 years ago.

By: LeahD

LeahD — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 12:23:32 +0000

The only time I can recall giving into peer pressure was when, as a teenager, I started smoking in order to fit in. (This was in 1960.) It didn’t work – I still didn’t fit in. Later on I started drinking alcohol, mainly in order to feel less awkward socially. It didn’t seem like I was giving into peer pressure, because I wanted to do it, but for many years it was my social lubricant, so drinking might fit in this category. Otherwise, over the years (I’m now 65) I have tended increasingly to be less and less social. I no longer want to try to fit in with people who are too “normal” for my taste. I have very few friends, but that’s better with me than feeling unable to be my genuine self. For five years in the early 1980s I was totally immersed in a spiritual group with an Indian guru, and we were all quite unconventional – more “loose” in our attitudes and behaviors than the norm, and into being our authentic selves as much as possible. I have never before or since felt as much a sense of belonging as I did then. However, the group started changing in ways that I didn’t like, so I left. For a long time afterward I intensely missed this group and the rapport I experienced with them. I guess that pretty much sums it up for now. Thank you so, so much for providing the space, invitation and caring for us ADDers to share our thoughts and experiences.