Comments on: Is Sex important to someone with ADHD?

By: Stephy Sunshine

Stephy Sunshine — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 22:15:04 +0000

Bryan! Your fantastic! Ive been trying to find SOMETHING out there that made sence to me. Im ADHD im a…ahem virgin… but I dont really have a sex drive to real, I have more romance novels then I can read, (I just skip to the..ahem ‘good’ parts.) I had a crush on some one once and my fav part about the hole thing was the TENSION! I have such a vivid imagination that I changed what was real into more and well I liked it that way Its hard to explain, but youve done it so well Thankyou so much Ive always been ashamed of who I was and how im… well different, like how im inattentive, unsocial(like people have asked me out but its so boring and uninteresting I say no, and people are likewhats wrong with you?!?!! Dont like sex? And it’d be like no…. I like sex. Just not real sex:) strange really… But again thankyou im going to buy some ADHD books today in an attempt to learn more aboput myself…
Im looking at getting
More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies – By Ari Tuckman

By: taylor

taylor — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 18:21:40 +0000

Oh LOL!!! And I thought the reason that I wanted sex so much is that we waited until we got married! Seriously, I could have sex every day and be the happiest 32 year old wife in the world. I’ve only known about my ADHD for the last 2 years though.

By: Marina

Marina — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 01:40:36 +0000

I forgot to say I said yes…! Our love-making IS MIND-BLOWING! And he cant believe his luck, so he says 3-4x a day is wonderful. We connect physically, emotionally and mentally which had never happened to me before.

If I didnt have a BF back in the day, then I couldnt be bothered wasting my precious energy in anything sexual. Would much rather read a good adventure/who dunnit book…or put my brain to good use by trying to think out more plots for my pre-teen adventure(with a tiny bit of romance) novels.

By: Marina

Marina — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 01:16:59 +0000

Hey Clarisa
Smelly Armpits, spiders on ceilings…oooh and scratchy blankets!! I have these thoughts go around in my head too during, before, after-well Im exhusted and have a sleep!
Here in Australia we have ceiling fans and so spiders and dust on the fan (which dangles above the bed) I tend to freak and change ‘positions’ I dont want a Daddy-long-legs spider falling on me during…ahem..coz then I certainly will be “DANCING” the crazy ninja dance i do when spiderwebs or anthing like that touches me, except naked. And it would be more like a jelly-wiggle wandered off topic again…um…what was I saying? sorry.

By: Marina

Marina — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 00:59:08 +0000

Hi there Bryan

Thank you so much for this excerp. I am 34 and suffer with ADHD and was diagnosed at 21.

This information about getting that “itch” was perfect as I have always thought of it like that too. All my adult life (sexually speaking) I have gone out of my way to please please please…I have been with my partner for 2 yrs and he has been the ‘only one’ who has “opened me up”…as for porn (which I enjoy watching only with my partner) well I only end up watching a few minutes before we go for a ‘jolly-good-rodgering’ (sorry, tact not a strong point). But I have just read this info to him (while he was in the middle of work of course! I was just too excited to wait!) and although he was a bit concerned that I thought our love-making was “boring”, I was able to explain to him in a clear(ish) manner that no, for once in my life it wasnt!
And that because we have that ‘real love and caring love’ it is always truely special and WOWFACTOR!!!
So thank you so much your words were truely helpful to me. Not so much interested in the romance novels (but like writing novels with that little bit of romance or build-up in them-published 0…unfinished 5 at the same time).

Thank you so very much! I really thought there was something wrong with me…I thought I was a ‘nympho’ before, but with my partner its more than words can explain it. If you find that special person who can understand and be patient and connect all at the same time, hang on to them because I finally found my Mr-Right-For-Me!!

Ps. He proposed to me last night! We are getting married! (It will be my second marriage, but his first).

By: Bart

Bart — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 18:27:42 +0000

Hi, I just found this blog.

I am a 54 yo male with ADHD. Sex has always been an issue with me. Regular sex is completely boring for me and I try to avoid it. As with many people with our type of brain we can however hyper focus on things that attract us or find interesting. I have developed a ‘desire’ from my early years on and when that desire is indulged I become a very passionate, focussed and giving lover.
Unfortunately after a couple of years my partners start to object to giving in to my, innocent, desire and start to complain that I love the desire more than her (in a sexual sense) and sexual activity comes to a halt. So I indulge in my fantasies that as with many of you are often way more interesting and fulfilling than the real thing.

Reading this blog made things a lot more transparent. Thanx. Bart.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sat, 03 Sep 2011 21:30:11 +0000

Huh! I’ve been married for over 20 years, but only got my diagnose a few years ago. I don’t like having sex, it is totally boring. But I never connected this with my add until now. I always try to avoid doing things I don’t like, hence no sex in our marriage, I just can’t force myself to it any longer. My partner has given up, but we do love each other still and so far stay together… I just wonder what he’ll say when I tell him my add is the reason?

By: Rj

Rj — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 15:25:52 +0000

I too have ADHD. I do everything possible to avoid sex.
I have now gone through years of confusion over my sexuality due to not wanting sex with either sex, and am thinking perhaps I am A sexual. Seems from the above posts I am not alone. I feel a sense of relief that I seem to be similar to those who have the same medical issue, however am emotional to think that I may be alone because of my “no sex requirements”. Every relationship I have had since I first had sex has crumbled, it feels like a chore, I seriously can think of nothing worse than to be pressured to put out Here’s to hoping I will meet another like myself.

By: Steve Krug

Steve Krug — Sat, 16 Jul 2011 18:25:56 +0000

My feelings exactly. I current thinking about sex is similar to a gain/loss analysis. I think, “Is the satisfaction that I get from the time and effort put into sex worth the effort?” For years, the answer has been “no”. And I’m OK with that, but my non-ADDer partner is not. We’re in a holding pattern regarding this right now.

Before a few years ago, I was a sex addict, taking chances and trying to act out some fantasies. It ended on a night when I doped out on marijuana and barely made it home on my bicycle. After that, I have chosen less risky options for my sexual fantasies.

By: Anita

Anita — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 09:41:34 +0000

Hi Bryan,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us, and being so honest. I am sitting here with broken heart, a couple of weeks after a break-up with my ex boyfriend with ADHD. Your blog helps me understand him so much better, and the way he might have viewed upon sex. Your views are your views, while his views are his, still there might be some patterns that you ADD – ADHD guys when it comes to sex.

Your article was an eye-opener for a woman who has no ADD, nor ADHD, and has had no previous experience with an ADHD guy before.

Your article helps me heal my heart a bit faster. Thank you!
Regards, Anita