Comments on: 10 Simple Tips on Writing a Memoir

By: Linda Rosenbaum

Linda Rosenbaum — Thu, 03 Jun 2010 06:58:22 +0000

Bryan….I too am writing a book titled …………..Help, My Husband Has ADD! We have been married for 50 years so you can imagine what a difficult life I have had. My husband has only been ‘officially diagnosed’ and on meds for the last 7 years. Our son [ and 2 grandchildren] have ADD also. By a strange ‘fluke’ I discovered my son’s problem via a .. 60 Minutes TV show when he was 29…but did not make the connection regarding my husband then. I was able to get help for my son which literally changed his life. But I spent many years living with 2 ADD people,- undiagnosed. A nightmare of course. When we married in 1960..no one had ever heard of such a disorder, of course.

My original intention was to write a memoir for my 5 grandchildren as ADD will be part of our heritage for generations to come. Then I decided it needed to be shared with a wider audience. People don’t realize the damage this affliction can cause in families. With kids…you can put them in a ‘time -out corner…But what does one do with a husband who is out of control…no time- out corner for him! My book is all about the devastating happenings our family endured..and….survived. I had to become ‘super human’ – fixing some of the serious problems his ADD disorder caused. I am now a huge fan of Ritalin …it’s not perfect but makes life oh so tolerable, along with therapy and a great deal of love. [Most ADD marriages end in divorce.] My goal is to share how I handled some of the worst diasters possible. I know I have been an ‘enabler’ for he past 50 years..selfishly sometimes, but for my own survival and that of our family.

I have been published before, in the 90′s… on the front pages of newspapers with articles called- Searching For Mary Poppins. [ Lifestyle section.] I owned a Nanny Placement Agency at that time. Also was published in The Agency Owners Business Newspaper. A book offer followed but I did not accept it…too little ‘money’. This time I feel the money is not as important as getting a message of hope out there. I don’t think anyone has written a book [yet] in ‘my position’. Being married to an ADDer for 50 years takes stamina, guts and an ability to forgive.

I am on chapter 4 now and looking to get published..via a publisher as I do not want to spend a fortune self publishing. I too would like to go on tour and promote my message with TV, radio and book signings. This will work best if no one else has yet written a book as a mentally stressed wife and ‘professional enabler’ to a man with ADD- undiagnosed for most of our 50 years together. [If any books like this are "out there" folks, please let me know. Maybe this is just a pipe dream.] My husband has even agreed to write the last chapter of the book called…The Husband Speaks!

My family is encouraging me to do this..in spite of exposing such personal information. We feel it will offer hope to some of the 10 million adults ‘out and about’ with ADD. Acccording to The Wall Street Journal..only about a quarter of them even know they have it and of course many are in denial.
Any suggestions for me on finding ‘the best publishers’ for this subject would be appreciated. Wishing you well Bryan. I CAN imagine what your life has been like. My son and his Dad have had lots of related problems as they both suffer this affliction. [ Both are on Ritalin now and they get along fine at last.]
Thanks for doing this Post. I liked your tips…Best, Linda

By: Zandria.us » Me, Thinking About Writing a Memoir? I Must Be Crazy.

Zandria.us » Me, Thinking About Writing a Memoir? I Must Be Crazy. — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 20:09:26 +0000

[...] At ADDer World, Bryan Hutchinson has 10 Simple Tips on Writing a Memoir. [...]

By: Bryan Hutchinson

Bryan Hutchinson — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:37:14 +0000

Dear Penni: It took me a few moments to reply to you because you sincerly touched me with your words, thank you. Simply spreading the word and sharing these posts is all it takes to be helpful. Anyone with a copy of one of my books, please simply loan it to a friend, share it with others.

You made my day Penni!

By: Penni

Penni — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 13:19:51 +0000

Bryan,While I am clueless when it comes to anything having to do with or about the topic of publishing, I do have to say this: You are one of the most INSPIRATIONAL writers and persons who I have never met but yet, at the same time, felt like I have known for years and years and years simply through your extraordinary gifted ability to write. You have this truly astounding ability to write in such a way that seems to touch and resonate with so many of us here, and your remarkable positive spirit has often brought a smile to my otherwise distressed face (and more of the world needs that type of positive encouragement and positive spirit). I firmly believe in my heart that GREAT things lay in store for you, and if there’s anything any one of us can do to help in any way, you can count on us to come together. I look forward to seeing you on Oprah soon! You are simply too talented and gifted of a writer for you not to be discovered and taken to the next step. Your books should definitely be in book stores! Please keep us posted on what we can do to help. Sincerely, Penni (spacecatpj)

By: Bryan Hutchinson

Bryan Hutchinson — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 12:46:35 +0000

Thanks for your input Mindy. It’s timely too. I think the interest in self-publishing has expanded a great deal in the last few years. It’s not what it used to be, especially since these books are sold side by side with their counterparts on Amazon and other E-tailors. Although, I do still believe that it is important to consider physical book stores, obviously, the internet has clearly changed the landscape of the way books are sold. The bottom line, depending on the quality of the book, information spreads much quicker today than it did years ago, many self-published books can sell quite well thanks to this new age.

Unfortunately, with the type of book I have written, I do receive some rather odd emails that I am trying to make a buck from my story. Nothing I say can change what certain people think or believe, that’s their prerogative, but the bottom line is this: If I want my book to reach as many people as possible, if I want my message to spread, nobody else is going to just do it – I have to do it first. Sure, hiring professionals to help me is great, but more often than not, as you mentioned above, it costs far more for those marketing ‘professionals’ to lend a hand than the books bring in, which is used mostly to support the ADDer World websites. Some people care, some people don’t – it’s important to reach those who care and will spread the message – without them, nothing will ever make it past the publisher anyway (traditional or self published – doesn’t matter).

Interestingly, One Boy’s Struggle has done better in spreading than many similar books published by the traditional market. It always comes down to the message. Publishers are interested in what sells. That’s true to only a point, we know that, but what sells is ALWAYS the message within and without a message, nothing happens, so I do think they care about the message too. It’s just a matter of getting them to realize that yours, mine or whoever’s message is worth it and will spread.

The bottom line with writing any book, memoir or otherwise comes down to the message within. Is it sincere, is it meaningful, and is it something worth spreading? That last part tips a lot of people up: Is it worth spreading? That’s a question some just can’t get past. Yes, if the message is sincere and meaningful, it will spread. And there is nothing wrong or shameful about marketing one’s own work. I think society gets some skewed view about self-promotion, but in reality everyone MUST do it and not simply for books: If you want a job, or a promotion, if you want a romance, relationship or just about anything, we ALL must market ourselves. We tend to forget that in our efforts to frown upon self-promotion.

In reality though, for most authors it is not about the money. Unless you are a Stephen King type, there’s actually very little money to be made publishing memoirs. It comes down to that same thing I mentioned above:

It’s all about the message within the pages.

So the best tip or suggestion I can ever give a want to be author: Forget about making any money from it, don’t even consider that – just write and let the message speak for itself.

What do you all think? ( I haven’t written this much in a comment in forever )

~Bryan

By: Mindy

Mindy — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 11:55:26 +0000

With all the Authors I work for, I have seen a set pattern for most of the Authors. They start their books from gathering up their notes and make an outline and start creating the book from there and another must is after you edit your book to your best ability, you must have your book edited by a professional,. Some Authors actually have their book edited twice just to be sure. Since most people are having their book self-published, make sure what each of them offer and then go to some book forums and see what be people are saying about their publishers. Ask questions! They all offer the world and charge you a nice amount of money to publish, but before you make your decision, you have to find out if your book will be available in Kindle Format? How does the publishing company handle sending books to stores for a book signing? You need to check the above plus much more, because sometimes we are just so excited that our book is being published that we forget to find out all they offer right off the bat….Many Authors find that they are promised the world and once they have their book..that is all they have is a book. Everything is extra…Self publishing is a great offering because it seems unless you are a Sephen King a publisher will not even look at your work because to them whether you have a message to get out or not, you are just a person to them. I have not written anything myself yet, but working with so many authors, you really learn so much. Just because you are self published does not mean you will not hit the big time. I have two authors right now that are having much success and loving lufe.One other thing I have realized is that as far as hiring marketing people for your book, the higher price they charge you does not mean the more they are going to do!!! I worked for a publishing company from NY recently for a week and I had to leave. They were charging Authors tons of money and they were doing nothing for the client….The Authors became just an a number…You never called them by name or by their book.. Just anything going with Author 6782356….I know this is much to absorb but between my business and having my Adderall kick in (HA!) I guess I had lots to say. Good luck to all of you on your ventures/Mindy

By: Bryan Hutchinson

Bryan Hutchinson — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:14:35 +0000

WoW – what a comment Dana! I am honored, naturally, by your feelings and concern. I received your message btw, thank you! … Just let go and write what you feel you will figure the other stuff out later

By: Bryan Hutchinson

Bryan Hutchinson — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:10:47 +0000

Great idea Tigger. I had thought about Linked In a couple times, but didn’t take the time. Thanks to YOUR comment, I took the time today

Bryan

By: Bryan Hutchinson

Bryan Hutchinson — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:09:42 +0000

Yep!

By: Dana

Dana — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 18:38:04 +0000

Bryan, Ever since I was in elementary school, I have enjoyed writing articles, short stories and poetry. What began at a young age as just a hobby has grown into a passion of mine. This summer, for the first time, I had 5 articles of mine published by an online magazine. The cool thing was that I spent one entire week consumed in writing 5 articles to meet my deadline, much of my time and attention went into research to gain more insight into the topics which I was writing about and I got PAID for doing something that I love!This first time publishing experience for me was EXHILARATING, MOTIVATING AND EMPOWERING! The simple act of an editor to accept my articles for publication helped me gain more confidence in my writing talent and skills. While I did have my articles published and it was an exciting experience for me, I have not submitted any new articles to other publishers or editors ever since my 5 articles were accepted for publication. I can imagine you thinking to yourself, “What on earth are you waiting for? Get busy and write more articles!”The truth of the matter is that as an ADDer, beginning a project and consistently staying with it, until completion is a challenge. In addition, being an ADDer mom of 3 ADDer kids is rather DISTRACTING! What truly gives me motivation, hope and inspiration to get back to work, to write more articles and to consider writing a book, is YOU, Bryan! When I take a look at EVERYTHING that you have worked hard for and accomplished, all the while struggling with common ADDer challenges, YOU give me hope that I can do it! You have inspired me to overcome my ADDer challenges, to push forward, to believe in myself and to plug away with determination!Realistically, what has helped me get back on track to continue writing is the fact that you said, “The reality is that I just wrote and I wrote and I wrote some more. I
didn’t follow any procedure or have any preconceived ideas that I was
writing a book.”I LOVE THAT! It encourages me to NOT waste my time worrying about all the “do’s and don’ts” for writing! It literally takes a huge burden off of my shoulders. Instead of spending valuable time worried about completing all the tedious details of writing a book from start to finish, I am able to let go of those nagging concerns to focus on WRITING FROM MY HEART AND SOUL!It was such a huge relief to read your helpful advice for aspiring writers. I especially can relate your own emotional experience in writing ONE BOYS STRUGGLE. One of your encouraging words of wisdom is this: “Be honest with yourself enough to dig deeper into your own emotions. If
the situation makes you cry, then let the tears fall on the keyboard,
but whatever you do don’t stop writing to wipe them away. Keep going
and you will share those feelings beyond any expectations.”My personal experience of my own diagnosis of ADHD at 33 years of age and raising three kids with ADD/ADHD is a very emotionally heartwrenching story to share. Countless times, I have been typing my story, caught up in the painful emotions to find myself crying as I relive one of the most difficult times of my life. Yet, as I continue to write my dramatic story, I strongly believe that there are so many other men and women going through similar struggles with themselves and/or their ADDer children. If my personal story of how I came to suspect that I had ADHD and how I was able to cope with raising three children with ADD/ADHD encourage, inspire or give hope to one single individual then writing this book will be worth every ounce of energy that I put into sharing my heart and soul.Thank you, Bryan, for being such an influencial and inspiring role model on ADDer World! By reaching out to other ADDer’s and by allowing yourself to be transparent, you have made a REMARKABLE difference in the lives of thousands of individuals.I am absolutely estatic that you are interested in seeking publication for your book ONE BOY’S STRUGGLE! I am most happy and willing to help you in your endeaver to find an experienced literary agent.Interestingly enough, I actually go to church with a woman who is a professional literary agent with extensive experience and success. I will send you a message with details about how to get in contact with her. In addition, I am friends with many professional writers and if it will be of any help to you, I could inquire about literarly agents who specifically work with biographies and non-fiction.Best wishes on your pursuit to publication!