Comments on: ADHD Diagnosis and Treatment is Imperative for Relationships and Self!

By: Bryan Hutchinson

Bryan Hutchinson — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 00:14:30 +0000

Katy, I can so relate to what you are saying. When I wanted to publish "One Boy's Struggle" a major confrontation ensued within my family. They thought I was betraying the 'family', especially my father before any of them had read the book. They knew what must be in it and assumed the worst. It is indeed very hard to write the truth and come forward, but sometimes, sometimes you have to in order to move forward. Holding it in, letting it fester and build, protecting who? Each of us must make that decision and go from there... after finally reading the book my family was more understanding, but not entirely accepting. There's always a lot more involved, behind the scenes than simply writing and publishing.

By: Katy B.

Katy B. — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 00:04:02 +0000

You’re right Gina, it’s one of the many areas of ADHD life that really hasn’t been “officially” examined well (and I should know…as a grad student I have spent many hours avoiding homework by looking up journal articles on ADHD, lol).One of the hardest things about even discussing things like this from a personal perspective is that parents can have traits, due to ADHD or other disorders that impair their parenting ability…however, at other times, they may be an extremely caring parent. No parents are perfect, but parents with untreated mental health issues can really have a hard time sometimes and the kids, indeed are the receiver…and as valid as the “kid” point of view may be in the equation, it’s very painful to “rat out” your parents, who you do genuinely care for. I know it was painful for me to write my above comment, and I have a very hard time with some of my blog posts for the same reason.How do you address the truth and complexity of family life, without feeling that you are betraying someone? My logical mind knows that this is a silly thought, and that we’re only as sick as our secrets, and that acknowledging truth is really the road to acceptance and moving forward…but I still worry that I’m betraying my family unit, or that other family members might draw the “acceptable to share” line in a different place than I might, and become upset with me.More people do need to talk about these things, and be willing to share this kind of information…maybe that could help prompt academics to give it more notice

By: Scott Hutson

Scott Hutson — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 14:23:27 +0000

Thank you Gina! I think you guessed right! Diagnosis and treatment…..There it is! The “Could this be me?”, and the benefits of hearing/reading what could happen if…….You did it again Gina(read my mind)
.-= Scott Hutson´s last blog .."IN THROUGH THE BACK DOOR"….medications and therepy =-.

By: Bryan Hutchinson

Bryan Hutchinson — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:57:47 +0000

Hi Gina, oh, for me they are not hard to forget... heck, I still have some of them, but I know what they are and can catch myself quicker and with less of a feeling of being a jerk. Knowing what the challenges are and admitting them is a BIG first step though for a lot of folks.

About families – a lot of families struggle internally. There are a lot of ADDers living with one or both parents who simply do not believe in ADHD, or a sibling doesn’t believe in it, or they somewhat believe in it, but will never consider that one of their family member’s have it. We can’t make anyone believe what they are not going to believe, or much less consider and it makes it so hard for too many to step out in the open and seek treatment.

I think the more people share their experiences the more people realize they are not alone and there is help out there and there are people who do care. But, unfortunately, in our busy and hectic society, not too many people indirectly affected really care and / or take the time to see what’s really going on with people. I think there was a time when people cared about each other a little more, now there’s so much disconnect that people have become numbers and warm bodies in the grand scheme of things…

In a way I think society in general, as a group, has become ADD as a whole. Of course, that’s not to knock my fellow ADDers!!!

Bryan

By: Gina Pera

Gina Pera — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 21:45:15 +0000

That’s just one of the many things I admire about you, Scott — your willingness to consider “could this be ME?” :-)I’m guessing, though, that by the very fact of your asking it (and maybe in small part saying yes), you are NOT one of “those people.”

By: Scott Hutson

Scott Hutson — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 16:42:15 +0000

Gina,Oh yes, when I first started reading some of the stories told by partners of ADDers, I thought…Well that’s not what I act or think (or have thought) like, in my own life.Then I took an honest look at myself….and my past/present……That’s when I started understanding, they were talking about me.Scott.

By: Gina Pera

Gina Pera — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:17:39 +0000

Robin wrote: I will never forget my first CHADD meeting. I listened to all these people speaking about their “problems” and thought what a bunch of wierdos. That’s when I realized that I was one of them. HAHA! I’ll share that with my local CHADD adult group, Robin.

By: Gina Pera

Gina Pera — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:10:05 +0000

Nice balance, Bryan! ”Advanced” pwADHD might forget past challenges.

My friend Sam says his pre-diagnosis habits (such as falling asleep at the computer every night) seem like dim memories today, but one year ago he could not have imagined dropping these habits. Newcomers really need to hear and learn from others who’ve walked the path.

And Katy, you wrote: ”He [your dad] had NO recollection whatsoever of that conversation, and unfortunately his ADHD lack of memory was the word of law…unfortunately we didn’t know what it was, so at the risk of sounding dramatic, we indeed suffered in silence.”—–This is a little talked-about phenomenon: how a parent’s unaddressed ADHD symptoms affect a child, especially when that child also has ADHD. ADHD is 76% heritable.

If I were a treating physician, I could not in good conscience prescribe medication for a child’s ADHD without also screening the parents. It’s so important for the entire family to receive education about the impact of ADHD on daily life; so many people just don’t connect the dots.

By: Robin

Robin — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 05:36:32 +0000

A diagnosis can mean all the difference in the world. Before I was diagnosed I knew there was something wrong with me. I had (still do) all the classic symptoms of ADHD but didn’t know it until my daughter was diagnosed. I will never forget my first CHADD meeting. I listened to all these people speaking about their “problems” and thought what a bunch of wierdos. That’s when I realized that I was one of them. All my life I thought I was the only person in the world with these symptoms and behaviors and here I was in a room with about a 100 people just like me. I felt like ET must have felt when he finally went home! I have been on different medications for the past 10 years and I am finally starting to tolerate myself. This, for me is great progress considering I used to hate myself. I also just got married to someone that I have been seeing for the past 18 years. This never would have happened if it were not for medication, education (about ADHD) and counseling.

By: Bryan Hutchinson

Bryan Hutchinson — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:22:21 +0000

Katy, I am sorry to hear about that. You know my story in that realm by now, I am sure, but you know, hey, like you said, they are human too, it's just extra difficult to realize or understand as a child. Back then ADHD wasn't understood as well and few people were actually diagnosed and/or treated correctly.

What you said in your comment is really what this post is all about:

A head’s up to anyone who might be considering that ADHD is an issue, because treatment can make a difference. Just the awareness of a real diagnosis can clear up so much confusion. Of course, treatment isn’t a cure, but it’s a lot better than not dealing with the issue professionally or at all.

Thanks Katy,

Bryan