Kat and Sally, I totally hear you about having a hard time reading long posts. Even when I am really interested in the topic and the post is well written it can still be difficult to finish. I love to read but constantly find myself skimming a page looking for the good parts and then having to go back and reread entire pages because I realized I missed something important!

It doesn’t affect intelligence, in fact I think ADHD enhances it… when we can tune into things that are of great interest. These are the things that we usually hyper-focus on. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 32.

For example… I have an exceptional ability in Fine Arts… any that I’ve tried – be it painting, sculpting, sketching, fine-line, etc. has been easy for me, and comes very naturally.

In High School I almost failed because I just wanted to do the Art… not listen to the inherently boring dynamics of the right/left side of the brain and learn about colour wheels and complimentary colours. (I still don’t.)

I was offered a free Art Residency (oh, the irony, lol!) just over a year ago, which I completed with much success. I was offered contracts to help illustrate children’s books… and I declined – because I didn’t want someone else telling me what to draw… I just wanted to do “my thing.”

I’ve been offered an opportunity for a solo exhibit, but I can’t seem to motivate myself to do it, now that I’m no longer in my “Art Space” I had while doing my residency.

I’ll back up just a bit then continue… during my Residency I never knew what I would produce on any given day… it was always best if I went in prior to taking my medication, came up with an idea – then took my meds. to enable me to complete the task. Without them, I still had the Artistic ability, yet seldom completed my work.

Prior to the Residency itself, (I applied two weeks before applications were due) I had to have a Portfolio… lol – I’d never kept ANY of my work done over the years, gave it away or paid off baby-sitters and friends with pieces I’d done which they wanted. I also had to have a three-page questionaire filled out… and every question needed a half-page answer, a letter of recommendation and three references. It got done… and I was still completing my Portfolio the day of the interviews (which I admit I am exceedingly good at) which consisted of a panel of 16 people.

I had no contacts within the “Art World”, was one of the last of many to apply, had no post-secondary education relevant to Fine Arts, either… and have severe ADHD – mainly the inattentive type.

During those two weeks (aside from my five children)my only objective was to complete any and all of the necessary requirements neeeded prior to the interview… and I got in… a moment of wonder, amidst the many of failures.

I haven’t totally gotten away from the “Art World”, and I remain in contact with some of the contacts, have work displayed in local galleries, and enter exhibitions (when prodded, lol!) Without the constant support and reinforcement, and surroundings my work is not as easy to maintain focus on – even with meds.

At some point I’ll resume my interest, (due mostly to the fact that my mentor and support system within the studio remains in contact with me) but I’m preoccupied with music… and my aspirations of such. Which is another story in and of itself.

For some who completed their residency, they have gone on to get contact work, and sell much of their work. I could, too… if only I could apply myself.

You are so correct…how can you even master something you can’t even really comprehend, something you can’t even experience because you can’t even slow down enough.When I started taking meds I started to see things that I literally never knew existed, and it still happens from time to time.  Now I know these other layers of life exist…and they’re still boring sometimes, and I have to learn to deal with all this “new” stuff I’m seeing, but I’m glad I’m seeing it. 

The meds can’t fix you, they can only help you see things differently so that you can make different choices (okay, and sometimes they make me so focused that even if I’m thinking something is dullsville I can crank at it a little longer). 

I’m still learning how to make those different choices, and I’m grateful for the chance, but seriously…sometimes things are just boring.I guess a good therapist can also help you start to see things differently too.  I’m just glad that mine doesn’t laugh at me when I have ridiculous meltdowns in her office about things like using timers…haha…those lil’ buggers put me over the edge…she told me I didn’t have to use them if I didn’t want to, and could find a better way to stay on task

Can totally relate about the pool analogy Bryan…grew up playing the piano, playing in competitions.  I could play anything by ear, it was easy, and I was good at it.  But played for eleven years and still can’t sight read.  Talk about missing the fundamentals…it was SO HARD, it was like I would try to do it and I couldn’t hold the whole process in my mind still long enough to even do it…but play me a sonata and I could play it back to you…I was functionally illiterate.  I would only have been able to succeed up to a certain point…right about the point that I stopped playing, because the pieces were too complex to learn that way….