I finally finished my blog post that was inspired by this post. It spilled over into two posts, actually, but I think I may have finally defined “success” for myself . . .

http://lifeischange.wordpress.com/2010/06/11/fear-of-success-and-the-importance-of-hope-part-one/

Thank you, Bryan.

Good for you! You’re going places… aren’t you!?

My question to you is: What does achieving your bachelor’s mean to you? Have you thought about how it will feel and what you will then be able to do with it? The reason I ask is that I think we sometimes strive for something and don’t really understand why we are striving for it and then when we achieve it, it doesn’t seem to mean as much. However, if we take a moment to really define what it will mean and why we want it, we may be better able to appreciate it when it does come. What do you think?

Bryan

You also mention something of great importance: Your teacher finally took into consideration that you learn differently! That’s so important.

A few years back I had a wonderful boss who I discussed my ADHD with, I explained what makes me tick and he was wise to use that information to get things out of me I never dreamed I could or would do, as a matter of fact all of the writings you and others have read from me may never have come about if I had not had that discussion with him!

Thank you for your comments; they are wonderfully informative and helpful.

Bryan

I was talking with my manager tonight to tell him thank you for the positive feedback he gave me a couple weeks ago. I could see from the look on his face that he appreciated getting that positive feedback from me. I finally feel like I’m getting to a better place at work after getting much more positive feedback and recognition since my first meeting with my new manager.

So I posed that question to my therapist- ‘what is your definition of success’? She told me the definition for her life was status. I could see being in the psychology field why she thinks that. But she also said that she thought that constantly striving for something better is a good definition.

That being said, I’ve been striving all of my adulthood for something better. Most especially while in college working on a bachelors. I’ve been rolling it around in my mind thinking about it – starting school again and finishing that bachelors. I guess you could say we’ve all been striving in getting better via counseling and/or medication, so that automatically makes us all successful. You’re never too old to follow your dreams.

I’ll tell you what I do know and came to realize over time and many painful experiences… success can be measured in different ways.

How I dealt with those yesterdays, and how I deal with today.

I’d explained it to one of my music teachers this way after he made the comment “You SHOULD know this!” Tears welled up in my eyes and I angrily wiped them away because I was embarrased. My reply was “No, I should not know this, rather this is something I need to learn.” Success, I explained was getting to class on time… without having to take a taxi, success was pulling away from every class learning something new – even if it was only one thing – it was something. Later that week I’d sent him an e-mail and clarified how I learn and why.. hence educating him about ADHD, hoping he’d gain some understanding. I understood his frustration, for often I am frustrated with myself. I have to remind myself to be patient. I also thought that sending the e-mail and talking to him was successful… he started to teach me differently, trying to figure out what worked best for me. Success, for both of us.

Hmm… success. I could tell everyone all that I’ve accomplished. But I won’t… not because I’m not proud of what I’ve done, but because it would take away from the topic at hand… what success now means to me.

Success is not feeling like I have to impress anyone.
Success is remembering to do self-care and to have thought myself important enough to have done it.
Success is teaching my children invaluable lessons about giving of oneself – without the expectation of a thank you in return.
Success is learning to appreciate what you have without thinking you need more.
Success was and is accepting ourselves for who we are and were meant to be.

Bryan

Bryan

Bryan