To answer your last question: Therapy, good therapy. It’s made all the difference. You can read about my experiences in ‘One Boy’s Struggle’ or read a primer in my latest eBook for parents and teachers – there’s a section on my experiences with professional therapy.

Thanks for stopping by,

Bryan

Thank you for your article – it was relieving to know that I am not going crazy.

I was “unofficially” diagnosed with ADD in college and used Ritalin from a friend to get through aerospace engineering. But I stopped after college. I guess I figured it was a study drug and I didn’t need to deal with it anymore.

But I am now mid-30′s and have recognized a self-sabotage life pattern that I felt I couldn’t understand and worse couldn’t control.

I guess I utilized my “gifts” at problem solving, multitasking and high pressure as a career guide. That got me through NASA mission control – but then I wound up self sabotaging it – then I moved to other high pressure jobs and finally highly technical sales jobs. I just hid the failure – because it appeared to be high level promotions to everyone else.

I felt like I had strokes of genius and solved problems that no one had discovered yet – but eventually, I felt so burdened by lack of focus a fear set in of self sabotage.

I never felt like anyone understood – because it was always met with a soothing response, “You can’t be a failure when you have accomplished so much.” But I don’t think they understood. I could have done so much more but inexplicably I kept myself from achieving it.

Now that I have a family to support – I feel like not coping with it is near catastrophic for supporting the family. All of the sudden – I went high paying sales job to two job losses in a year. Drivers license suspended for too many tickets. And an upset wife for having so many half done projects.

I have felt like a high performance failure, that recently felt like I was loosing it – and that is where no one seemed to understand.

Reading your article has made me realize that I shouldn’t have ignored it after college. It is reliving to know there is an explanation and a solution.

What do you do to handle it? Ritalin? Diet? Therapy?

Thanks –
David

Are there things I’m not so great at? Yep…and I’m happy to delegate those to the person best suited for the task! DELEGATE AND MOVE ON! And find a project better suited to me so I can keep moving….

Great description of Adult ADHD in regards to my own state of mind(even as a child btw). The “gift” part is what has troubled me most in my life. Yes I do hyper-focus and solve problems quickly in my profession, but it causes a great deal of stress at times(most times), when I am working with others (helpers, boss’s B4 I became independent,etc..).

It is almost impossible for me to watch someone work on something, when I know I can do it quicker and much better, MY WAY. So there’s the problem you pointed out about having (wanting) to do everthing myself. Even at home, It makes no difference what it is, from building/repairing my house- to cooking dinner. I don’t do this to make others feel bad,mad,or provoke a conflict. But it will, much of the time.

I’m very lucky now to have a wife that understands my A.D.D. way of thinking. She says it’s the A.D.D. with some O.C.D.. But that’s not a good excuse for the un-finished projects I have going on around here….That’s all have time to comment about this right now, I’m gonna at least use this sunny day to make our garden’s the way they need to be….MY WAY. (lol)

Fantastic example and so well articulated… thanks!

Bryan

‘Administrative’ isn’t the job I would recommend for someone with ADHD; however, I have met ADDer’s who do find success in jobs like that. They key for many of them is to find a routine, a way of doing things that works for them, such as using alerts in outlook, colored folders and simple time allowances per task. Easier said than done, but routines can help. You might want to try and focus on what parts of the job you enjoy the most and why, then see how that fits into your routine.

Before job hunting it’s more important to assess your own skills before considering ‘what is good for an ADDer’ because it varies. I love stuff that is exciting, switches gears quickly and the more the better. My mind has a way of tracking multiple things and the more I have to track the better my mind works. That’s not for everyone, but with ADDers it seems more common. I am a mind worker, I like to think things through and come up with ideas, which I am very good at. I also like to research allot and can discover new ways of doing things, especially in the technology fields. My first love was selling stuff, heck one of my best jobs was selling encyclopedias and it was an extremely difficult job selling those especially with prices starting near the $2k area. It’s a high risk job and rewarding because you can sell nothing and end up with no income or sell several and be basking in high commissions. I loved it even more because I became one of the best at it and very few could match my performance. With that it’s also good to be in a competitive environment, as long as there is pay off, if there is no payoff for the competitiveness then that can backfire.

Always be wary of the shiny ‘new type’ of job you might like and always consider your set of skills and what you are good at, not simply what you would like to ‘try’ because if you are not aware of your own capabilities and talents, you could put yourself in a job that you do not enjoy.

Hope that helps a little,

Bryan

My point? I think sometimes our success depends on our ability to learn to put ourselves in situations where our “gifts” will be appreciated and perhaps useful, not disapproved of.

I have a hard time sitting in meetings where I have to just listen–but in meetings where there’s an opportunity for active brainstorming or problem solving, I get very involved and very active in encouraging others to play too because this is when I’m at my best.

At parties I have a hard time having deep conversations with people because I get distracted and antsy–but I can channel my natural excessive chattiness to break the ice with new people…and in social situations I like to use it to connect people to each other that I think will like talking to each other. This ends up being fun because I enjoy making sure other people are comfortable and included and having a good time.

And…my natural high energy (okay, okay, hyperactivity) is a huge asset in dance classes, so I take them whenever I have the time and the money.

See, it ain’t all bad…but it does take time and practice to figure out what situations are the best compliment to your quirks