I feel like I spend my days “pretending” that I’m normal and it’s wearing me out.

Any suggesteding anyone??

My point is a generally specific one (lol). Asking first, is the considerate thing to do. It’s true, not everyone has the skills to do that, but that doesn’t make assuming and assumptions in general, right. However, more importantly, thanks to too many misleading messages out there about ADHD, people tend to assume what it is about without a full understanding or that each person with it may have differences, and therefore people in general have many assumptions about people with ADHD. Each person is an individual, with a life and circumstances of their own.

Consideration is a very powerful word.

@Jim, I agree, if it is someone you trust and already knows you very well. As in previous posts, I talk about mentorships and I believe they are extremely beneficial. Good mentors take from what you are and help you mold it, which, of course, takes a lot of consideration about who you are – which leads to many questions asked of you. Therapy is used in this way too. By asking questions of us, the answers we provide help clarify our thoughts and beliefs, what’s bothering us etc… Indeed, we all make mistakes. The problem with ‘maybe that’s it’ is we become like leafs on the wind and blow in any direction the wind takes us, even if it is not the direction we really want to go in. Also, as ADDers we tend to be distracted, impulsive and say things out of context from time to time – when someone assumes something of that type of behavior, how right can the assumption be? I know that my momentary behaviors could change so fast in the past that if someone assumed something of me just from a quick take, they would nearly always be wrong. I don’t think we are as much an open book as we think we are, our very nature tends to prevent that, I believe. Although, I have been known to wear my emotions on my sleeve ‘sort of speak’.

@ Mary Beth, very, very well put 

@ Gina, I tend to think so too. Enjoyed your post the other day, btw.

@ K.D. Oh, goodness, that’s exhausting and would have to be someone extremely special for me to go through so many things to try and modify what they ‘assume’. But, then, I am an ADDer too and that’s what we tend to do I prefer someone who considers me, by asking first. You are right though, consideration is a ‘learned’ skill.

@Scott, I like your “I’ll have fun with this’ attitude

Bryan, no offense, your list would make more sense if _I_ knew what I am after in life, what makes me tick, what my aspirations are. When someone else tells me what they think I am after in life, I think, “maybe that’s it.”

You do bring it around almost to closing when you say “Consideration,” meaning, I suppose, Considering things from the point of view of the other person. It’s too easy to assume that everyone thinks the same way; even if they use different emotions and experiences and knowledge to reach a conclusion, you can at least assume the other person is using the same mental tools as you. But we’re not, and we will make mistakes that they might not even have considered possible.

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