Let’s face it, we are all just a tad too serious most of the time and we take ourselves just a little too seriously. When you are under constant threats, deadlines, making the grade or trying to improve yourself, it’s hard to let your hair down and relax, but sometimes I think that is exactly what we need to do.

I am learning to relax, chill-out and not take things so dog-gone seriously. We can get way too caught up in all the things we want to do and the goals we set for ourselves that when it looks like we are not going to achieve something, anything, it becomes the biggest let down ever, you know, like EVER – the sky is falling and quickly too! Let’s just take a moment and breathe. Take that deep breath in and hold it for a few seconds, then let it out slowly. See how much better everything is? Well, it might take a few times, but don’t hold your breath too long.

Hey, it’s not your fault! The educational systems, society and modern life have made everything so excruciatingly stressful. If you feel as though you are under constant threat, that there is always an emergency and things just have got to be done right now, this minute! You’re right, that’s how the modern world has become and that’s why we end up with the world changing at a speed not even flash Gordon could catch up with. Or am I talking about that other Flash guy? See, I can’t even catch up with that.

We are rushing, rushing, rushing. We have got to have the new thing right now! Ipad anyone? Well, if we can afford all the new things out there. I have to pass for now, besides it is just not the right size for me. I need something more between the iphone and the ipad, so my thumbs can type at a speed fast enough to keep up with my hyper mind! But, alas, I digress, because you know what? It’s not all that serious. If I really try, I can wait. Apple always has a revolutionary new product coming out and they will get the size right just for me, if I choose to wait, but can I? Of course, I think I can. Shoot! I’ll buy it today! Don’t tell Joan, ’cause I will hide it under my pillow – that’s just between you and me, so don’t go spoiling it for me. No, no, no! I will wait… I think.

This brings me to the two movies which have really, absolutely, totally made my winter and spring: Avatar and How to Train Your Dragon!

My ADHD mind just salivates at the thought of those two movies and what they did for me. What did they do for me? Let me think, if I can remember. Ah yes, they allowed me to take a few hours off from the world (that’s why I couldn’t remember) and just enjoy the splendors of fantastical colors, love in a fantasy world (oh, sweet, love) and above all, they allowed me to soar with them in the clouds on the wings of dragons! WEEEEEEE!

What more can I want? A good story? Hey, see how easy it is to get serious again? Well, How to Train Your Dragon has a wonderful story and Avatar, well, Avatar basically throws the idea of a good story in your face with Unobtainium (you know, that stuff you can’t get – you did get that, right?)! Although I thought the relationships within Avatar were rather well done (and corny too), I was more interested in the colors, the flight and the beautiful world Cameron created as eye candy! If Avatar wasn’t an ohhhh shiny, then I don’t know what it was and I don’t know anyone who went to see it for the story! Did you? C’mon, you can admit it, we won’t tell anyone.

All I am trying to say is that from time to time we need to realize how important it is to just chillax! If we don’t find ways to laugh and enjoy the splendors of life without all the I just gotta get this done right now or the world will explode into a million zillion pieces, we are going to crash and burn-out, but with just a fizzle.

So, here’s my recommendation: At least one day a week find your child within and just allow yourself to enjoy something, anything – a movie, a walk, or just daydream all day with total abandon! Give yourself permission to goof off. We can all think of a million reasons why we can’t let even the slightest moment pass, but guess what, it’s all going to pass anyway, seriously. The more reasons that you can think of that won’t allow you to relax for a day, well, take it from me, that’s all the more reasons to do it!

What do you enjoy the most? What refreshes you and makes you smile a mile a minute? You know that something that makes your day pass like a cool breeze on a hot summer’s day. Do that, enjoy that!

WOOO HOOO – Can you catch me?!!!!?

Let your child within go outside to play, or if it is raining outside, let loose inside!

~Bryan

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Have you ever shown brilliance and extraordinary talent and yet less talented peers passed you in the long run?

In any endeavor, sports, dating, work and even tinkering in a hobby with the hopes of accomplishing anything, there is nothing more important than mastering basics and fundamentals. Undoubtedly, you’ve heard this before, but do you really know what this means – especially in the context of ADD and ADHD?

You can have incredible talent mixed with ADHD risk taking and impulsivity and you can do absolutely amazing things which blow the minds of any spectators, but at the end of the day, most times you will fall short of your desired outcome, you will lose! You will fall flat on your face. And, it will hurt! Sorry, I know that is painful to read, but you and me, we know it’s true. Don’t we?

It’s confusing, it is frustrating and it is part of having ADHD!

And, you can do something about it!

However, it requires of us to realize and admit something painfully infuriating:

You may have all the talent in the world, able to do fantastical things others can only dream of, but for some strange and absolutely odd reason, others with not even half of your talent will eventually pass you in actual accomplishments. Yes, your talent is still above and beyond theirs and yes, you can still show sparks of greatness, but ultimately you cannot sustain any type of consistency whereas the person with less talent, who has mastered the basics and fundamentals, can.

Someone with half the talent, or even less, but has mastered the basics and fundamentals will typically win the race.

Tortoise will out-race Hare time and time again.  

But what about successful people with ADHD? You might ask.

Think about them for a moment. What do most successful people with ADHD have that has enabled them to somehow break the mold? Too often certain boring details are skipped over when discussing highly successful people with ADHD and such omissions are NOT helpful. The rest of the story of what enabled them to become successful, despite the odds, with regard to having ADHD, would be helpful and help people like you and me, to stop beating ourselves up for not being more.

Take Michael Phelps for example, he has been in training since childhood! Since youth, Michael has been coached, mentored and trained as an elite athlete. Even with ADHD, he knows and understands the basics and fundamentals of swimming better than most. 

Have you been in intensive training since childhood? Have you been mentored and coached to be a world champion since childhood? I know I wasn’t, and I don’t think there are a whole lot of us that have been. Trying to relate to Michael is nearly impossible for most of us. I am very happy for Michael, but this post is for the rest of us!

If somehow, someway, a person with ADHD does master basics and fundamentals, matched with his or her innate talents – I sincerely believe that other person with half the talent or less, won’t ever catch up! Especially when you add on proper ADHD diagnosis and treatment, the sky is the limit! (Unless you’re with NASA or Richard Branson, of course.)

People with ADHD receiving proper treatment for their ADHD have far and away better chances than those untreated. However, if one has been diagnosed late in life, proper treatment might still seem like it is falling short, that something is still missing. Treatment, of any kind, without the knowledge of what has been missed, isn’t usually enough. I think this gives fresh meaning to ‘going back to the drawing board’.

Typically, without proper treatment of ADHD, learning basics and fundamentals is excruciatingly boring for us ADDers! We will want to skip ahead, bounce around, go back and forth and just about anything else. It’s nearly impossible to endure learning the basics and fundamentals without some type of intervention for people with ADHD. Without the best coaching, mentoring and training – do you believe Michael Phelps could have done it?

Here’s a personal example I have used before:

I am a pool player. When I first started playing I showed an abundance of talent, I had few peers as talented as I was. However, as the years passed, playing pool became frustrating, even irritating, and people I knew who clearly didn’t have my talents or abilities crept up, year after year they continued to improve and achieved better results in tournaments than I did. I was stuck and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why.

It was only after seeking out a highly qualified mentor that things started to change for me (You can read the details of this story in my first book). It turned out I didn’t stand right, I didn’t hold my cue right and I didn’t take the basic ‘easy’ shots when they were clearly the best choice. I had no clue what the percentages were between different types of shots and I didn’t care. I had a flare for the dramatics and crowd pleasing hard shots which had very low percentages of completion, but high rates of applause when pulled off! (What’s that about instant rewards and ADHD? They don’t pay off in the long run though!)

Because my desire for playing pool and winning was so strong, I eventually did, with help, learn the basics and from then on I began to advance. My ADHD traits became an advantage in my game, such as with hyper focusing.  

I think, (because this post is just my opinion) one of the major frustrations for many of us late diagnosed adult ADDers, is that even with treatment many of us are not accomplishing our goals and fulfilling our heart’s desires.

Proper treatment and management of ADHD is a must, but if we still do not realize, or it hasn’t been pointed out to us, that we have skipped the most important ingredients of success, such as learning basics and fundamentals, we are still going to be stuck and perhaps think treatment isn’t working.

The good news is that with proper treatment and management of ADHD, going back to learn the basics and fundamentals of whatever it is you do, isn’t going to be as boring as it once may have been.

Most of us skip the basics and fundamentals not because we think we can do without (Well, yeah, that’s part of it when talent shines too brightly – ohhh shiny, anyone?), it’s because those tedious little details are boring as heck! The decades will roll by and things will not improve in specific endeavors if the basics and fundamentals are not learned. You can have the most advanced and perfectly conditioned race car in the world, but if it doesn’t have the right tires, it’s not going to make it to the finish line!

This has been a long post, but if you made it this far, maybe you can relate? If you have ever tried and tried again and again, even with diagnosis and treatment, but still could not maintain – perhaps consider the basics and fundamentals of your endeavors. If you have already: did it make a difference? I’d like to know. Have you ever show brilliance and extraordinary talent and yet less talented peers passed you in the long run?

You know, I think it is interesting how negative I was towards myself due to being so inconsistent in pool. One day hot, the next day not, sometimes it would go hour by hour. I would get so frustrated and outright mad at myself, telling myself such devastating things to try and pick my game back up, but isn’t it funny (not really), that just by learning to stand correctly, hold the cue a certain way, which is the most basic of the things I needed to do – you know, the boring stuff, helped bring my consistency up to a level that I had never imagined possible.

Yes, I still struggled with distraction for a long while, but when you realize there are solutions and they are real and workable solutions, it makes no sense beating ourselves up constantly, because doing that of all things will not help. It’s a matter of knowing what those solutions are.

How could I know my foot was pointing too far inward in my stance? Without a mentor, learning the basics and fundamentals, it may well have stayed that way forever. Oh, it wasn’t just my foot, trust me!

It is never too late to learn the basics and fundamentals!

And if you are properly diagnosed with ADHD and receiving treatment, so much the better to help you focus on mastering them!

~Bryan

(*My posts / opinions on this blog or anywhere should absolutely NOT be used to diagnose or treat anyone. If you suspect ADHD or any condition, please do seek a professional diagnosis and/or professional treatment.)

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I just read a very good article by Dr. Eleanor Rolnick about a decade long Norwegian study involving 23 children with ADHD who were put on milk free and gluten free diets. The theory that milk and gluten interfere with the breakdown of certain proteins was developed by Dr. Karl Ludvig. The theory is a metabolic predicament which seems to be triggered when eating milk and gluten and therefore may accelerate ADHD. 22 of the children in the study showed almost immediate mental health improvement, overall behavior, as well as enhanced attention span with increased learning capabilities!

“Long term monitoring of these children has found their disorders to be manageable while the challenges they once faced have virtually disappeared.” – www.keepmecurrent.com

So, what do I think of this? Actually, I must concur with the results of this study, with the results of my own recent diet change! It has been long noted that after eating is when kids usually have the most problems and so it was noted with me too, when looking back in time. That, I believe, is why we blame so many problems on sugar, even though it has been disproven that sugar is the culprit. Many still believe sugar to be the main issue, but that is because problems seem to occur most frequently after meals! In some cases, with allergies for example, it might not be obvious because symptoms can occur hours or even a day or two later.

I was having more serious issues a few months ago and my symptoms were escalating. I talked about it with a good friend of mine, Gina Pera, and she recommended asking Dr. Charles Parker about it. You may remember a recent post I did with Dr. Charles Parker when I interviewed him. He knew right away that my symptoms went further than ADHD symptoms and were indicative of a metabolic issue. He asked me about gluten and milk specifically. Turns out I am allergic to wheat and dairy products. Furthermore, because of where I live, I was vitamin D deficient!

I have nearly eliminated gluten and dairy products from my diet. And I feel much better. As a matter of fact so many issues I was suffering from have either gone away or have significantly improved! What I appreciate most in this diet is that my mood is so much more even. I am able to think things through much better and see the good in things I might not have noticed before. The improvement from eliminating gluten and dairy products is nothing short of remarkable. Yes, I still have ADHD, but it is far more manageable and the positive sides of ADHD are easier to access now!

A good place to visit and learn more is Dr. Charles Parker’s blog. He has written quite a bit about ADHD and metabolic issues. The original article about this Norwegian study can be found here.

Please, remember that I am only relating my personal experience and it is important to see a doctor before making any diet changes or other health related changes. Milk is also known to be good for those who do not have dairy/milk allergies or other negative health issues concerning milk.

Have you tried any such diet changes? What were the results?

~Bryan

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If you Believe, you can acheive anything!

(click the image for your copy)

Finally, after so much, the manifestation of my life’s story is here, it is in print, it is published and I hope and believe what I have written will help people across the world in a new enlightening way. This is my story, my memories, the good, the bad, the ugly and the wonderful, the successes and the reality that there is more and we can all find it within each of us. This is the story of what I went through and the people around me were subjected to and reacted to. This is the story of a boy who was lost, all over the place, struggled with school, with friends and just about everything, but with all the struggles, there was always something special within and for many reasons I found that something special and believe with all of my heart and my soul, you will find your something special within you too!

No matter what your relation to ADD ADHD I believe my story will give you a fresh perspective and new insight into what it really is and why it can cause so many problems and emotional devastation, but also why it is a good thing and how it can be used as an advantage, if understood and accepted. ADD ADHD cannot be cured, but the talents and traits that are a part of it can be used for everyone’s benefit. If you do not have ADD or ADHD, it is highly likely that you know someone who does; my Memoir will help you understand us better and realize there is so very much more to ADD ADHD than simple excuses.

Most of all One Boy’s Struggle is a story of inspiration for everyone and anyone. Even when certain failure is seemingly imminent, we can overcome, we can achieve and we can become happy and successful. We can have our cake and eat it too. Everyone, at some time or another must learn to control his or her thoughts and actions and in One Boy’s Struggle it just so happens that I had a little extra to overcome, so if I can do it – you can too! 

It is worth it ~ In so many ways~

 Thank you everyone!

~Bryan~

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Do you ever have the problem of reading an article, a paragraph or pages of text and then suddenly realize that you don’t remember anything that you just read, or simply have a hazy recollection. That used to happen to me all the time. It was especially noticeable when I reached a place in a novel that was riveting and I became confused at how such a situation was reached when it was clearly explained in the pages which proceeding it, but I didn’t remember them. This seems to be common amongst those with ADD or ADHD.

It’s frustrating, it’s just plain maddening to go back over and over the same words trying to get them to sink in and at times it just seems we are going through the motions of viewing the words. When I was in High School (I write extensively about this in my Memoir), I had a teacher who refused to believe me when I told her I had read the chapters assigned, but just could not remember anything in them. She told me I was lazy and not interested in the class. In all honesty, she was right that I wasn’t interested in the class, but she was wrong that I didn’t read the chapters—I did, over and over again. The harder I tried to get the words to sink in, the less I seemed to understand.

Here are some tips I have used over the years to help me remember what I have read:

• I read what interests me.
• When possible I read aloud.
• When an audio book is available I try to read along with the audio book. This has proven to be very helpful and creates a sort of atmosphere I really enjoy.
• I have read aloud and recorded my reading to listen to in the car or at other times.
• When I was a kid, my Mother was insightful and had me either read to her or a tutor and have me go over what I read with them. Very helpful!
• I find people interested in the books and/or subjects I am interested in and discuss what we have read.
• Never had a problem reading and remembering comic books!!! Seriously, something about having pictures with characters relating to each other was very stimulating and interesting to me. Especially Spiderman. I learned a lot about morals when reading Spiderman growing up! Big X-men fan too, so let’s not discuss the last X-men movie because that could get heated!
• Reading marker, or ruler to use under each sentence while reading. This helped keep my mind more alert to what I was reading and helped me not drift over sentences.
• In school I think it’s great when reading a chapter aloud and passing between students to keep everyone alert. After being caught trying to find my place in a chapter or two I learned to keep up with the reading and flow right into my reading portion and I made it sort of a challenge for myself to do that. Even those without ADD ADHD can get lost while following the class, so I liked the silent competition.
• I don’t read more than I know I can. Sort of like not eating more than your stomach will allow. Reading on the internet is okay, especially blogs and forums—short stuff, not too long and not too dreary and on a subject I am interested in.

Those are just some of the things I use and have tried with some success. What about you—what has worked or is working for you?

~Bryan

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Here we are, born to be kings,
We’re the princes of the universe,
Here we belong, fighting to survive,
In a world with the darkest powers,
And here we are, we’re the princes of the universe – Queen

Are you the most important person to you? Are you the only one you think about all day? When you go out to buy Christmas presents do you think of what others would like to have, or do you think of what you would like to give them, or better yet, what you would prefer to have? Do you interrupt others questions with questions of your own that concern you? Do you interrupt in general before others have expressed all they have to say on a subject? Do you consider the ramifications of something before you know the complete story? Do you think you know how a movie is going to end before you have seen it? Do you judge a book by its cover? Do you have an opinion about everything and you believe your opinion is always the right opinion? Do you…

I think you know where I am going with this… right?

Okay, if you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above questions, then it is official. We need to talk and we need to talk about me, myself and I! It’s not all about you, it’s just not and it’s not all about me either—even though I would prefer it to be. It is about being the Center of the Universe.

We (you and me) tend to think we are the end all, be all and even though we probably should be, we are not. Don’t tell that to Simon Cowell, he really does think it’s all about him and you’re not going to convince him otherwise! And who is going to convince him otherwise? I mean, he does make a living at it! Okay, maybe we should hand it to him; he has it figured out, but since we are not rich because of our inconsiderate selfish egos, let’s analyze ourselves. I love doing that—it’s all about me after all… sorry… moving on…

Here is a clue I discovered recently: It’s about the BIG picture. It is not all about me, it’s not all about you and it is not all about any one single person in the Universe. Together we make up the Universe, separated we just decorate the sky like stars, some sparkling brighter than others alone, some grouped together, some way off in the distance. As much as it pains me, I am not the Center of the Universe. Maybe if I write that some more, I will believe that? I am trying hard, really, I am.

We miss social cues, you and me. We miss those things others seem to understand so clearly, we miss the meaning behind the meaning and we just can’t read between the lines to save our lives, or our careers, or our education, or our relationships. We are the Center of the Universe and everything revolves around us.

So here’s my point and as much as it pains me to write this, I have to. The only way you and I are going to make it and overcome our self-centered ways, is to realize that we are being self-centered. It might not be any fault of our own, but if we are tired of missing the cues of others and just plain old not getting along with others, we have to step out of our comfortable sense of self. I mean that sense of self we insistently think about. Me, myself and I.

We start thinking about ourselves from the earliest age, we are just crawling and it is already all about us. We are distracted, we are impulsive and we have difficulty focusing on those things ‘others’ want us to focus on. But, get this, if ‘we’ (you and me) become interested in something we develop what is called “Hyper-Focus”, it is not hocus pocus, it really works, but only on what our mind wants it to work on, not what ‘others’ want it to work on. Taking all this into consideration, we are seemingly, no, we really are predisposed to be the Center of the Universe!

If you and I want to have good relationships, good sex, love and a good job, we have to step out of our comfortable place within our Universe. We have to realize that we are not the center of all that is and could be. We have to take what others say and do and want into consideration. We have to stop asking ourselves why can’t I, why shouldn’t I, and what about me questions. We have to step out of the box and listen to what others are saying, get opinions from others and not simply rely on our own opinion, because believe it or not, this is going to be hard, we are not always right, our thoughts are not the only consideration. Take the time to just pay attention to others. Take the time to ask others how they feel and ask why they feel that way, ask why they formed that opinion.

Okay, that’s it for today. I am going to have Joan read this article. She went and bought cookies for me yesterday and she ate them all! Even the double chocolate one that I was just eating a bit at a time, savoring, half of it was left and she ate that too! Man! What about me???

~Bryan

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The reason I created Adder World was and is to help spread understanding and awareness of ADD ADHD. I speak from experiences I have had, what I have researched and the experiences others have shared with me. I do not claim to be a doctor or any other type of medical professional. If my experiences and what I have observed and therefore write about help bring awareness and inquiry to others, then I am achieving my said goal and hopefully more.

You can help me!

Read on if you really, really want to help…

Yes, indeed you can! Your experiences are valuable to all of us. We can learn from you and at the same time your comments can help spread awareness. Please, share your experiences with the rest of us by commenting on any article you relate to, most especially if you relate to more articles. Do not under estimate the value of your voice and how it might help others in similar situations as you. Many of you visit from ADD ADHD forums and you share your ideas there and no, you shouldn’t stop that—only enhance that by allowing others to hear from you from across the internet. Not everyone visits the same sites and many might not have read your experiences yet. I do appreciate the emails I receive and that has helped me along greatly—let’s spread the knowledge and give our visitors more than just my opinions, experiences and research! Everyone can become part of the solution and help reverse the overwhelming denial and negative opinion of the general public. Not only that, but many medical professionals have visited Adder World, by writing your experiences, you could very well be helping these professionals discover new treatments! I don’t think that’s too far fetched… do you?

Thanks for visiting Adder World… Your world, my world… OUR world!

~Bryan

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The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) and the American Psychological Association (APA) have created and made available online a new 27-page guide to assist parents in understanding ADD ADHD — along with a very informative video. The guide is very helpful to parents, teachers, and clinicians, adults with ADD ADHD and just about anyone who wants to learn more and have better understanding of the condition ADD ADHD. I am very impressed and I think it is a testament to the need for such information on a wide scale that the AACAP and APA have made this informatively helpful guide available for free! What I find very useful is that the guide provides good, basic information for parents about finding proper care for their ADD ADHD child.

The AACAP – APA ADHD Guide can be found here (be sure to watch the video):
 
ADHD – A Guide for Families Developed by the AACAP

~Bryan

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“A place to find ADHD news, message boards, medication information, resources and testimonials for families coping with ADHD.” ADHDNews is a site with much to offer and is both a great place to start looking for information and a place to come to meet people and learn about each other through dialogue. It is a well rounded site and to really get an idea of what is offered visit the site’s sitemap: http://www.adhdnews.com/site-map.htm 

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This is an article about self help strategies for Adults with ADD ADHD. I found the tips to be useful and provided good information about memory triggers which help time and task management. Very interesting and informative article overall.

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http://www.adhd.com

Very in-depth website designed for both parents of children and adults with ADD ADHD. I found the sitemap especially useful http://www.adhd.com/sitemap.jsp

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http://www.understandingadhd.com/

Understanding ADHD is a resource for anyone affected by ADHD-Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. Whether you are seeking ADHD information for yourself of a loved one, this site offers sound advice on how to diagnose, treat, and overcome ADHD. Welcome to Understanding ADHD.

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http://www.additudemag.com/

One of the most comprehinsive sites on the web concerning ADD ADHD. A great place to find out almost any information about ADD ADHD. Sign up for their news letter, join their forum or even ask questions and get expert advice. This site also has updated news. Well rounded. 

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