Seems things are going to get worse before they get better.

I just read another article about ‘the myth of ADHD’ by someone who raised my eyebrows. Mr. Herr, an assistant professor in the Department of Educational Studies, Leadership and Counseling at Murray State University, wrote a recent article titled - ADHD: Has this diagnostic fad run its course?

According to Mr. Herr, ADHD is a diagnostic fad! His article perfectly underscores my recent blog post about how a report in the media can be skewed by the headline (in this case the entire article). I am not going into detail about how accurate a report authored by an assistant professor of economics about ADHD children and misdiagnosis of ADHD at an early age might be (Youngest in class get ADHD label - another headline to go with my previous collection). However, people are paying attention to it and when someone who is an assistant professor in the department of educational studies for a university openly writes that ADHD is a fad of its time, well, there you go. Would you want to be a student with ADHD at his school? Just asking…

I read Mr. Herr’s article this morning and started to feel the shame and guilt of living with ADHD all over again. His article has far more power than he might think and I am not sure if he realizes how many people he may be putting in jeopardy and confusion.

Mr. Herr writes:

“Probably one of the best ways to make sense of children and the rise of ADHD is for adults to focus on some basic questions. Don’t most adults become distracted when they are tired? Don’t most adults become fidgety when they are bored? Don’t most adults lose interest in their work when they don’t see any significance in what they are doing? And when adults wrestle with concerns relating to stress, sleeplessness, frustration, and depression, aren’t the responses often “get some rest,” “exercise” “start eating better,” and “try finding something you’re interested in”?” Quoted from Mr. Herr’s article in The Christian Science Monitor

First, how do you make sense of children by comparing them to adults? Anyway, let’s skip that obvious question. Yes, to all of the assertions above. All of them are true, but those are not the things which in of themselves can be determined as ADHD. They are determined to be ADHD when they cause life problems, are constant and have been present since early childhood.  As an example, if Mr. Herr would read my book “One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir –Surviving life with Undiagnosed ADD” – he would discover that I would daydream daily through my entire day at school, not just when I was tired, or when I was bored or fidgety or stressed or whatever guess, other than ADD. Daydreaming was a constant daily struggle. Not paying attention to the teacher, or being able to read books, or assignments and understand them in time for a quiz was a constant struggle. Actually, assertions similiar to Mr. Herr’s may have been part of the reason I was punished and chastised so much for my behavior.

My mother cooked everyday an excellent, healthy meal for the family. I typically slept at least 9 hours a night. I wasn’t tired from lack of sleep. However, I was bored that is true, bored to the bone and very few things could keep my attention and when I did find something that kept my attention it was usually not for very long. Also, if Mr. Herr would read my book he will find that I often switched things I became interested in. Therefore, to assert that we can just switch someone to their interest isn’t always all that helpful, because if they have ADHD they are highly likely to change their interest out of their control quite quickly and without notice. It’s frustrating and depressing. 

Perhaps it was just depression in my case? Again, if he reads my book he will find that my behavior and the punishment I received because of it by educators, my father and many others was the main culprit for my depression and later PTSD, but my typical ADD behavior came first. Not that I deserved punishment because my ADD came first, but rather it was misunderstood and therefore I needed understanding and a proper professional evaluation of my behavior.

When you have enough people getting on you because you’re doing things out of your control, but in their opinon “on purpose” – let me tell you, it gets to you after a while. I started to believe I was doing it ‘on purpose’ too and punished myself for it because nothing else worked (read my book Mr. Herr). Punishing myself along with other people’s punishment didn’t help for very long, it made things worse. Punishment led to far, far worse. You know what did help? You guessed it, proper professional treatment for Depression, PTSD and ADD! Not any one’s opinion that my condition doesn’t exist or that it is a fad. Mr. Herr’s article really just shows the mentality of a large portion of society which just can’t accept that certain behaviors are out of one’s control. It’s a bully-ish attitude and often keeps people from seeking the help they need, because the stigma and shame can be so overwhelming.

Sorry, if I seem a bit upset here by these assertions, but I would be very careful making broad assumptions about anyone’s condition as not truly existing unless you are indeed their doctor, are treating them and have a very familiar understanding of their issues. However, if you have a predetermined view of conditions like ADHD as just fads, you would not be my doctor.

With all this said, I can understand where Mr. Herr is coming from, as I mentioned it is an all too common belief in our society and, unfortunately, it is these types of beliefs those of us with ADHD and our families must live with daily. Mr. Herr’s article may help reinforced the stigma of ADHD and what’s more he is an educator. Let’s hope the ‘left hander’s’ are not the next target of such an article (is there a blood test for truly being left handed?). I guess such beliefs are part of the reason behind laws to protect those with disabilities, which does include mental disabilities such as ADD / ADHD by the way. It’s also important to note that ADHD is a part of the The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition (DSM-IV TR) - it is my opinion that “Fads” are not included in this manual published by the American Psychiatric Association, used by clinicians and psychiatrists to diagnose psychiatric illnesses. *

- If you would like to read an article that at the least accepts ADHD as a condition, but thinks TV is partly to blame: Let’s blame ADHD on too much TV - at least this author is looking for a legitimate reason! The problem with his theory is someone like me. When I was growing up we were allowed only very limited TV viewing and I certainly didn’t have a TV in my room as a young kid. Therefore, this theory doesn’t work for why I have Attention Defecit Disorder.

*This article has been about my concern for Mr. Herr’s opinion about ADHD being a fad in the article he wrote here. My concern is for how damaging such an open opinion article by an educator can be to those of us living with the mental disability ADHD, and our families – not to mention students struggling with this disorder. Mr. Herr has the right to his opinion and to write about it. I have the right to discuss his openly written opinion and share mine about it.

What’s your opinion?

~Bryan

About a year or so ago someone wrote me and told me that One Boy’s Struggle would become a cult classic. As per the usual with me I didn’t pay that complement much attention (yep – A.D.D.). It was a complement, right? Then a few weeks ago someone else wrote me and said nearly the same thing and then again, just last week yet another person called it a cult classic. The latest person didn’t even say it would be or could be, she said it is a cult classic! She was pretty much a-matter-of-fact about it.

Okay, now I am starting to pay attention. I decided to look up ‘cult classic’ in the dictionary, or rather, Google, and this is what I found:

Cult Classic – allwords.com: ‘A work of fiction that is extremely popular with a select audience but may or may not be successful at the time of the work’s original publication.’ also: ‘has acquired a highly devoted but specific group of fans’ Wikipedia

The first thoughts that came to mind when I read the definitions is that One Boy’s Struggle is not fiction and the word ‘cult’ doesn’t seem complementary. One Boy’s Struggle is a memoir and therefore, non-fiction and it isn’t a movie. I know, a bit picky of me, but we ADDers tend to be perfectionists to a fault.  However, if I ignore my uncertainty for the word ‘cult’ and get past the ‘fiction’ part and put in ‘non-fiction’ the definition is pretty much true.

There really is no other book like One Boy’s Struggle either. Not dealing with ADHD, PTSD, a child’s struggle into adulthood and beyond, or much less anything else for that matter. How could there be? It is the story of my life, after all. It is a story of hope, spawned from tragedy, but it is not a novel or a character driven play. It is the assemblage of real life notes of a life that was in jeopardy, from someone who was trying to figure it all out and put his life (back) together.

Still, I have discovered something else and because of what I have discovered I can no longer be entirely certain that it is the story of my life anymore. No, I haven’t gone crazy, in fact, quite the opposite. Things are clearer for me today than they ever have been and I must admit, I give special thanks to the readers of One Boy’s Struggle, because, it is not simply my story anymore. It is your story too. So many people have written me asking if I am their long lost twin or relative. Even people who do not agree with everything I write concerning ADHD, or, my ideas, but they relate to the situations I lived through, my actions and my reactions and the actions and reactions of those around me who were affected by my ADD (odd) behaviors. Behaviors, which are all too common in those of us who have ADD or ADHD!

In other words I have found that, like me, a lot of other people are discovering themselves through a series of notes about a person’s life that were put together to form something of a book, but it isn’t really a book at all. And, if it is not actually a book, what is it then?

It is me and perhaps, in a chapter or more, or a few pages, or a few sentences, it is you too?

I am humbled and honored for the consideration, but I ask you: Do you think One Boy’s Struggle is a cult classic? I guess time will tell and you will be part of that telling.

I have decided to go back and write a new afterward for One Boy’s Struggle, called: 4 years later. I had also considered rewriting the book itself, a bit, to add some things people have asked me over the last few years, but after some serious consideration I have decided to allow One Boy’s Struggle to be what it is without any modifications. Besides, the rest of my story continues to be written in the books that follow and online here on ADDerWorld.com.

Thank you, dear reader, for reading my writings and being a part of my self-restoration, and perhaps yours, your partner’s or your child’s as well. I was seriously worried when I published One Boy’s Struggle that I would be cut down, criticised and further ridiculed, and to a lesser degree that has happened, but for the most part feedback has been out of this world better than I ever could have dreamed of!! THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH!!

Bryan

It’s true that with acceptance for who we are, and all which that encompasses, can we learn, overcome and thrive to achieve whatever kind of wonderful is for us. Far too often I read or hear people with ADHD berating themselves, putting themselves down and cursing ADHD, which is as much a part of who they are as anything else. Now, I am not saying ADHD doesn’t give us reasons to be ticked off, upset and feel dejected. Oh, it clearly does! But, you know what? No amount of self-deprecation will take ADHD away or force one’s self to be better or different or, heaven forbid, normal. It’s somewhat along the lines of a teacher scolding a child with ADHD with the intent that he can make the child realize that she is just lazy and, if she wants to enough, she can be normal and function in normal ‘accepted’ ways.

The most important thing I have learned through years of therapy is that anger, resentment and self-deprecation are ways we deal with our situations, thinking that somehow if we get upset enough that we will finally break the invisible barrier. However, in reality these behaviors and beliefs simply draw one deeper into a void. It’s not intentional; it is just the way the brain acts in a normal way in self-defense for survival. We also know that stimulation works wonders for the way our minds work and anger is very stimulating, but ultimately is also very damaging.

I have noticed that people who find good and acceptance within themselves, ALL of themselves, even the ADHD part (which let’s face it; ADHD is a part of everything we do), those people seem to thrive more and live happier lives. It’s a choice, but an extremely difficult choice to accept and allow in. Why? I think when we consider opening up and accepting ourselves as we are, it seems as though we are giving up, that we will lose some kind of vital invisible control that we think we have. It’s quite deceptive really. My personal understanding and accepting of the deception first, was also the key to unlocking my mind from the grip of anger, resentment and finally, guilt.

ADHD is neurobiological, it’s not on the sidelines as a wart is and also, unlike a wart, it cannot be removed with surgery or any other remedy. So what are the options? Give in to it and allow it to rule our lives? Or come to accept it and rule over it without fighting it, learning enough about it to use it as much as a tool as we use our emotions and feelings, or as we use our eyesight and sense of smell. When we accept who we are, all parts of who we are, the scars too, and even if it is a part called ADD or ADHD we can finally move forward and love all of ourselves in a healthy affirmative manner. And then, and only then, can we thrive in happiness and love.

An accepting, positive, self-affirming mindset isn’t going to cure ADHD, but the alternative can, and does a heck of a lot worse. One of the problems of having grown up with ADHD is that we learn to wait for the other shoe to drop. We stand on guard day and night, constantly worried that if we release our control for even a second we will fall down and get hurt, or, worse. The truth, though, is that this constant sense of distress is far more damaging and even more so, it doesn’t help.  It’s a mind trick, deception of the most intimate and lasting kind. Being aware of it, accepting this truth and we gain the chance to free ourselves from it.

What I am trying to say is that YOU are AWESOME and BRILLIANT, yes, even with ADHD! Now, you discover that, if you haven’t already, and watch the world change before you.

If you have ADHD or ADD, please know that you are more than any label, but also know that without your ADHD or ADD, you would not be who you are. That’s a simple fact we tend to overlook when searching forevermore for a cure, or, cursing it. Because when we curse it, we in affect, curse ourselves. Acceptance is about as close to any cure as any of us will find and let me tell you, from my own experiences, acceptance is the most powerful antidote in existence.

Remember, you are absolutely, unconditionally awesome!

Yes, indeed, you are! Believe it.

(you can download this article in a nicely formated PDF <- Right click and save target as.)

~Bryan