For me one of the best ways to control my impulses, or to find answers, is to believe in, and talk to God, the Universe or something higher using prayer.
If I want to do something, but I don’t think I can: I Pray about it.
If I want to control myself, but feel out of control: I Pray about it.
If I want to slow down, but feel myself running when I should be walking: I Pray about it.
Yesterday I was interviewed by Tara McGillicuddy for ADDclasses.com and we talked about creativity. It was a very interesting conversation and I hope you have the chance to listen to it. There was something that I talked a little about in our conversation and that was about how sometimes the diagnosis of ADHD can lead one to believe all hope is lost, and even start experiencing symptoms that were previously not noticeable or problematic. I am calling this: The side effect of ADHD diagnosis. I’ve suffered a bit from it myself. Of course, I am making up ‘the side effect’ part, but am I really? Read on and make your own decision. Let me know if you have been affected by the side effect of an ADHD diagnosis.
This is a very special announcement. I have a new book coming out in a couple short weeks. It is my labor of love, the grandest adventure and the most ambitious writing I have endeavored since One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir. The title of my new book is 7 Crucial Tips for Parents and Teachers of Children with ADHD. Don’t let the title fool you though, this new book will be just as important a read for adults with ADHD as it is for parents and teachers. I would even go so far as calling it my Manifesto – at least, that’s what my wife is calling it.
The new book shares with readers what I consider the 7 most crucial tips for parents and teachers. Because of how serious I am about this new book I asked two professional therapists (who you may have heard of) to write Forewords to this new book! You will read them soon.
The first rule of shame is not to talk about shame. I think a lot of us believe this unspoken rule. We may also believe that shame is weak, shame is admitting to being lesser than others and shame isn’t acceptable. Shame is something to be kept hidden in the dark. I think shame relates well to ADHD, because a common approach to shame is to state to someone ‘to pull it together’ or ‘quit feeling sorry for yourself’, and those of you familiar with ADHD know full well that neither of those two statements are effective, much less realistic.
I speak from experience here, so please take what I am about to write from someone who’s been there and done that, nothing more. Please read this with caution, or if you are highly susceptible to triggers, please consider if this is the right time to read about this topic.
I have an extremely vivid imagination. As a child with undiagnosed ADD (ADHD) I used my imagination to escape to somewhere better, somewhere I was special and where I felt appreciated. In my first book One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir, I wrote of how I imagined I was Commander Mart, a superhero who flew through the skies on the back of a beautiful, incredible flying silver horse I named Pegasus! In my imagination I felt good about myself, I felt whole and I felt well.
The thing is though, sometimes my imagination got me into a lot of trouble because I would escape into it whenever I was bored, uninspired or when I was under pressure and scared. I didn’t know it then, but I used my imagination as a survival skill. I felt comfortable in my imagination, I was in control there and nobody could hurt me because I was Commander Mart and I could fly away on Pegasus.
I believe creativity is inherent in everyone. No one is born without the gift of creativity. We all have this wonderful ability to be creative in our own special ways.
Many will tell you that creativity in of itself is not a ‘trait’ of ADHD and I do tend to agree with that, because all people are creative in their own ways. But even so, if you combine our symptoms and traits of distraction, out of the box thinking and hyper focus, among many others – we come up with some amazingly creative things that even the most creative people without ADHD would never dream of.
If you’re tired of hearing about all the bad, negative things about ADHD then this post is for you! This post isn’t to downplay the serious consequences of living with ADHD, it’s to take another perspective and reframe it in a positive way which has worked for me. Of course, many of these on my list have serious consequences which I have had to work through. ADHD isn’t curable, but sometimes we let it kick us when we are down and like the boxing coach says, ‘stay down’. I’ve never been one to ‘stay down’, I’m stubburn like that!
In the last few years I have read thousands of emails from readers all over the world. Many love what I have written and thank me for going out on a ‘limb’ to share my life experiences. You, the readers are my driving source for writing, sharing and you inspire me to keep on keeping on, to continue sharing – it’s a very positive, uplifting and learning experience each time I read a letter or email from someone that has been touched by my writing. And what’s just as special is our ADDer World Social Network is nearing 2000 members! Originally, I had foreseen a couple dozen members of blog readers where we could get together and communicate a bit easier. Seems I am not the only one interested in finding a positive outlook, no, not by far and that’s awesome! Together we are never alone, no, never alone and finding ways to move forward positively, constructively and manipulate our experiences to our wants, needs and desires, ever hopeful and encouraging each other. That, my friends, is what it is all about. Ecouraging each other, motivating each other and, giving each other hope in the midst of the fog. There’s enough discouragement in the world already.
With that said, from time to time I receive a frustrated email, comment or letter. Some are quite angry, in fact. These types of emails seem to have one connecting factor: Positivity. Many of the writers are simply frustrated that thinking positive doesn’t work for them and yet, there are others, who are simply angry that anything positive is being connected to ADHD in any way whatsoever. Some of the latter emails try their most to get me to change my perspective and see how doomed we are because we have ADHD and that life with it will always be chaos and ruin. Uh… no. And then there are other emails I get where I pay a little less attention to because there seems to be some kind of ulterior, hostile motive that I don’t fully understand. Tip to any would be writers in this category. Insulting emails are never successful and I am not available for debate, but you can debate with yourself all you like or someone else.
If you are in a relationship, especially in a marriage and you have ADHD, or your spouse has ADHD, or even if both of you have ADHD, Melissa’s book is one of the best books I have read for solving and overcoming relationship issues which are caused by, or influenced by ADHD. ADHD isn’t going away, but it is manageable and it doesn’t have to be the end all, be all of any relationship. However, to deny ADHD or try to ignore it, that my friends and neighbors leads to a never ending spiral of confusion, disillusions and heartbreak. Melissa’s book The ADHD Effect on Marriage can and will help you.
"One Boy’s Struggle is a real eye-opener. It should be read by all parents struggling to understand how best to support their ADHD children. Adults with ADHD will likely find validation and new hope from reading Bryan’s story.” ~Dr. Edward Hallowell
CHADD Educator of the Year for 2010, Dr. Katherine Nell Mcneil, "Highly recommends" One Boy’s Struggle
“A very brave and moving memoir.” Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, Katherine Ellison, author of 'Buzz'.
"Gripping account of both the struggles and positive polarities of ADD written beautifully in a honest, open and courageous manner." David A. Crenshaw, Ph.D.
"Anyone with ADD or with friends, loved ones or colleagues with ADD will be informed and touched by Bryan’s book." Bryan Robinson Ph.D. author of 'The Art of Confident Living'
Thank you!
I just want to add a special thank you to all those who have read ‘One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir’. Thanks to you it has become one of the top selling books for my publisher, this means that it is reaching people all over the world.
It is an honor to have written a book that is meaning so much and benefiting so many. It is my hope that one day ‘One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir’ will be read by every teacher and parent, as well as read by every adult with ADHD. If you own a copy and have read it, please consider passing it on, loan it out to friends, a support group or donating it to your local library.
All material provided within this website is opinion only, and is not to be construed as medical advice, instruction or direction of any kind. No action should be taken solely on the contents of this website. Visit a health care professional before making any decisions about your health.
If you are in a relationship, especially in a marriage and you have ADHD, or your spouse has ADHD, or even if both of you have ADHD, Melissa’s book is one of the best books I have read for solving and overcoming relationship issues which are caused by, or influenced by ADHD. ADHD isn’t going away, but it is manageable and it doesn’t have to be the end all, be all of any relationship. However, to deny ADHD or try to ignore it, that my friends and neighbors leads to a never ending spiral of confusion, disillusions and heartbreak. Melissa’s book The ADHD Effect on Marriage can and will help you.
