Every now and then I will come across the strangest suggestions and the oddest questions. I am sure you have too. One of the strangest suggestions I came across recently is that people, especially children, with ADHD should not look up to, aspire to be or admire successful people with ADHD. I suppose there may be several potential reasons for this idea: Having goals that are too high, fear they will suffer great disappointment aspiring to such greatness or be hurt if they discover that they can’t necessarily be exactly like their heroes. .
I guess we could call those reasonable reasons, but what I am getting from this are a few things that come directly to mind:
People with ADHD should not be inspired or motivated by people with ADHD who have gone before them and especially not those who have succeeded.
My publishing company’s monthly newsletter came out yesterday revealing the top 3 selling authors for June (pictured above) overall, not just by categories. Suddenly it hit home for me when I saw the newsletter. This isn’t just about my books, or becoming a bestselling author, this is about ADHD books making it out of category, rising above stigma and ultimately, a triumph for people with ADHD everywhere and those who are close to us! I posted about the achievement of my books a little while back when I first received notice, but the full significance had not hit home yet, not entirely, not until now.
When an ADHD book series became bestsellers of a publishing company this last June it was not only a moment to celebrate, but also time to truly think about what this means for us as a community. Consider that we are talking about an ADHD book series! There are significant implications here, let’s consider a few things:
Pick a disorder, any disorder, that you do not know much about. Find someone with that disorder and I’ll bet they wish you would understand the issues they are dealing with a little bit more. They may even wish that you would walk in their shoes for a day or two.
The thing about educating the public about ADHD is that it can be so different for each and every one of us. ADHD is a neurobiological disorder with a spectrum of symptoms. Truly understanding ADHD can be mind boggling just for us, not to mention there’s so much disagreement in our community on how we should talk about it, perceive it and respond to it.
Think about it for a moment and consider that people, like you and me, with ADHD, we are seemingly held to higher standards. I don’t mean higher standards in that we are better than anyone else. I mean that if you have ADHD you are expected to do more to improve yourself. Our responsibility to ‘self-improvement’ is much higher than the average. First we must strive to attain what normal people attain, and then we must compete to be even better. Due to public opinion of ADHD we are constantly proving ourselves. Even so, it’s not the general public that concerns me, it’s the attitude and behavior of ‘a few’ who take it to the next level and are quite offensive towards anyone with labeled imperfections.
I created ADDer World, the ADHD social network not just to create awareness of and about ADHD. - Nearly everyone is already aware of ADHD unless they have been living in a remote area without TV, the Web or Newspapers for the last ten years. The problem is something else. Most do not fully understand what it is or the people who have it. That’s where the real problem is, understanding and relating. I created ADDer World so folks with ADHD can come together and discuss things we ‘get’ together. A lot of times we are not looking for specific answers or specific solutions, we just don’t want to be alone, or worse, feel like we are alone.
The key to making people like you is to be open, honest and forthcoming. Improve one’s self, be nice, caring and forgiving.
Seems like solid advice and to a degree I am sure it is correct, it is the code I live by, but the reality is that not everyone is going to like us. No, no matter how lovable and adorable, or perhaps cool we may be. Actually, statistics indicate that some people are in fact predisposed to not like us and if we spend our time trying to make them like us, we may be wasting a lot of our time. As ADDers, we tend to waste too much time already.
On the radio yesterday, I listened to someone give these statistics:
25% of people are predisposed to like you
25% of people lean towards liking you and could be convinced to like you
"One Boy’s Struggle is a real eye-opener. It should be read by all parents struggling to understand how best to support their ADHD children. Adults with ADHD will likely find validation and new hope from reading Bryan’s story.” ~Dr. Edward Hallowell
CHADD Educator of the Year for 2010, Dr. Katherine Nell Mcneil, "Highly recommends" One Boy’s Struggle
“A very brave and moving memoir.” Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, Katherine Ellison, author of 'Buzz'.
"Gripping account of both the struggles and positive polarities of ADD written beautifully in a honest, open and courageous manner." David A. Crenshaw, Ph.D.
"Anyone with ADD or with friends, loved ones or colleagues with ADD will be informed and touched by Bryan’s book." Bryan Robinson Ph.D. author of 'The Art of Confident Living'
Thank you!
It is an honor to have written a book that is meaning so much and benefiting so many. It is my hope that one day ‘One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir’ will be read by every teacher and parent, as well as read by every adult with ADHD. If you own a copy and have read it, please consider passing it on, loan it out to friends, a support group or donating it to your local library.
All material provided within this website is opinion only, and is not to be construed as medical advice, instruction or direction of any kind. No action should be taken solely on the contents of this website. Visit a health care professional before making any decisions about your health.
