On The Fence
Being on the fence allows me to view things from a perspective where I can take in both sides and make decisions, choices and base beliefs on the facts all sides present (what I can make of them). Personally, I think it is a mistake to join one particular side of an issue and allow it to consume everything – life isn’t that simple and wars get started by this way of thinking, due to anger, resentment and inflexibility.
Typically, each side of an issue has both merits and faults. My experiences have taught me that nothing is as clear cut as it seems when it comes to human beliefs and relations.
My position(s) are as simple as they are complex. Here are a few or more:
- I believe we all have the power within us to improve, become better and fulfill our wants, needs, desires, – our dreams.
- I believe whichever way that brings you to a happy, fulfilling place in your life is the right way for you.
- I believe we each have the right to consider ADHD a gift and the right to consider ADHD a curse (or parts of ADHD, either way). I also believe that what one believes tends to direct their life in that direction. Positive thoughts and beliefs can lead to empowerment, and likewise, negative, self-defeating thoughts can lead to despair and ultimately, catastrophe.
- It is not my place to tell anyone what to believe or not to believe.
- I freely present my experiences, with my solutions and allow anyone to take ‘em or leave ‘em. There is no charge to read my blogs or join the ADDer World ADHD Social Network. Purchasing my book is an option and I absolutely love it when a reader loans it out to others! If you own a copy of my book, please do loan it out to anyone you think will benefit. I have asked this before and many are doing it – thank you!
- I want to inspire you, I want to encourage you, I want to motivate you and I want to help you reach a level of bliss and acceptance of life with or without ADHD. Not everything I write is just about ADHD, if you break down article by article here, you will find that each ADHD trait in of itself, alone, is an integral part of the human condition – it’s when all (or most) of the traits get together and have a party, that we have problems to resolve and overcome, that’s ADHD, friends and neighbors, as I believe it to be.
- My stance on medication is simple: That’s between you and your doctor. Period. I know people who have had great success thanks to medication and I know people who have suffered, as yours truly has, due to side effects and discontinuation syndrome. I only advise that you seek the advice of a doctor who specializes in ADHD and the corresponding medication. Personal experiences are hard to gage, because, each person can have a different experience with the same medication.
- Also, about medication, I do not believe that the same coping skills one learns while on medication can be used as effectively without the medication. Raw un-medicated ADHD is quite different than successfully medicated ADHD, therefore, the coping skills will be different, if they weren’t, then that would, I guess, mean the medication isn’t working. However, I do believe vice-versa does work. I have met and talked to too many people who have come off medication and returned to their old ways, which shouldn’t necessarily be a surprise, because, if they didn’t, well, then the medication would have cured their symptoms, and too many of these folks find that they are unable to continue to fully utilize the coping skills they learned while medicated. Regardless, coping skills learned while medicated are better than no coping skills at all. (I hope that made sense)
- Thanks to my experiences, which may be different than yours, I believe psychotherapy is a good place to start treatment. Medication may come after a full analysis and several discussions. If you have read my book then you know the value therapy had on my life and changing my belief system, especially when considering how I perceived and allowed the past to control my thoughts – this is based on Adult ADHD. There is too much going on in our thoughts to be discounted and overcome by medication alone, past experiences and our perceptions of them do not change with medication alone.
- Personal experiences of someone with ADHD, yours truly included, do not take the place of a trained medical professional. Again, I advise a specialist. I do not buy into anyone declaring that ADHD medication is very bad, or, likewise, anyone claiming that ADHD medication is the ultimate answer. In my opinion ADHD is neither very bad, nor is it the ultimate answer. This isn’t about nuances or grey areas, or being on a fence, this is about the fact that each person is different and considerations need to be taken on a case by case basis, medical histories etc… etc… hyperbole doesn’t help anyone.
- One thing which seems rather clear to me is that no matter the amount of coping skills, proper, working medication and further education of ADHD, we will always have challenges. It can be those challenges which keep us suffering or it can be those challenges which keeps us ever moving forward, improving, enhancing our lives – what I attempt to do is take those challenges, talk about them, based on what I have learned and experienced, and give optimism not only to you, but, also to myself. I am of the mind, if we think we can, we can! That’s me.
- I do not believe in a cure for ADHD. There are no perfect solutions or one size fits all.
- I am not everything to everybody. I can’t do everything myself and I do not feel the need to.
- I have very little tolerance for crass, malicious and/or disrespectful attacks or comments towards anyone for any reason, including from yours truly. Venting, to me, isn’t an excuse, it is immature and rude. With that said, we all make mistakes, but, we should own up to them and try to correct them. ADHD can be like improving in sports, reducing our errors will improve our game. Having ADHD doesn’t mean we do not know right from wrong, there’s another title for that.
- I reserve the right to repeat myself, and I tend to change my mind from time to time. That’s life, not just ADHD!
These are my top ten (did I write more than 10?) clarifications on what I am about. As you see I do take certain stands, in certain areas, but, they are my stands and might not be yours. You may have some areas in which you agree and you may have some areas which you disagree. That’s up to you. Am I on the fence in certain areas? I certainly hope I am, because, like I said, that way I can see most sides and make an informed choice for me. You make your choices for you – maybe some of my choices help you make your choices and maybe some of yours help me make mine. You can join me on the fence, if you like, there’s plenty of room…
~Bryan out!
