Today I found an online review of my book that touched me so deeply and emotionally. This is part of what drives me to continue writing, to be a voice and meet new people each and every day. To help a mother and daughter bond through the words I wrote, what a humbling treasure that is.
Cixous39, if you happen to read this: Thank you! Seems we have helped each other. I hope you don’t mind that I copied your review of One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir here:
What makes this book special? On a personal level, my Mom and I BONDED over it. While reading it, my mother found me crying and asked what was wrong. I told her what this memoir was about, and let her read it. Once she finished, we cried together. We also laughed because it helped make sense of my own experiences with AD/HD, which went undiagnosed until I was 35. Though Mom had read a few of the “popular”, recommended AD/HD books, she had never before understood my behaviors or my feelings.
This is a must-read for anyone who has ADD, or thinks they may, as well as for parents, friends, spouses, and teachers. Though many excellent books describing AD/HD exist, most are written from a medical or purely self-help perspective, perspectives that create distance from the phenomenon of having AD/HD. Bryan’s memoir provides an invaluable contribution to the field of AD/HD literature because it is written from the perspective of an insider, someone who has ADD. Undiagnosed until the age of 37, the author recalls excruciatingly painful memories from early childhood through the more positive experiences of his present life. His tell-all life story recounts, with an amazing vulnerability, what it was like for him to grow up in his family, his school years, his friendships, his career, and his romantic life.
Perhaps most importantly, he openly describes how his behavior before his diagnosis, and others’ reactions to it, took an extreme toll on his self-esteem. This affected every area of his life, alienated him, and led to the deep-seated belief that he was inherently “bad”. The book also explains how he coped with the overwhelming shame he experienced and how he went about developing the more positive thinking patterns that have led to an extremely successful life.
Bryan provides insight into not only what having AD/HD feels like, but also explains that it is a neurological condition, thereby shattering myths still commonly held about it in our culture. He describes how AD/HDers’ minds work differently than those of non-AD/HDers’, something I wish I’d known before my own late diagnosis, and like Bryan, felt defective as a human being.
As refreshing as it is significant, Bryan focuses on many positive traits, such as the creativity many AD/HDers display, that can be cultivated. His own successes show that while there may be many negatives associated with having AD/HD, that realizing and developing the positive traits can actually be a gift, a resource for achievement.
Bryan shares his innermost thoughts through this raw recollection of his own life experiences, even in a world where having AD/HD remains stigmatized. He urges those who believe they may have AD/HD be evaluated in order to determine whether they have the disorder, maintaining that knowledge of AD/HD is key to overcoming its unique challenges and to creating a successful life and a bright future. For those of us who know we have AD/HD, he stresses the responsibility we must take for improving our lives.
Finally, the book is highly readable (especially for someone who has AD/HD!) due to its short chapters, its vivid descriptions, and the fast-moving story that moves from pain to triumph. I couldn’t put the book down. This book has changed my mindset from one of alienation to one of hope. ~Cixous39
Cixous, again, thank you for reading my memoir and taking the time to express your experience and feelings in such a meaningful review (it means a lot to me). I hope to hear from you on our ADDer World ADHD Social Network.
~Bryan