Motivational and inspirational writer, Bryan Hutchinson is the author of several books about life with ADHD including the highly acclaimed, best selling "One Boy′s Struggle: A Memoir" and the author of the hilarious eBook that went viral "10 Things I Hate about ADHD"

Put a Stop to the Blame Game

Stop the blaming! As humans we like to blame things, it’s natural and normal. We like to put blame somewhere, anywhere, somehow, someway. We don’t always do it consciously or on purpose, we just do it. It’s not our fault, whatever that is which is making us use the blame game.

Here’s some common blaming: It’s the system, its ADHD, it’s the people in the group over there and on and on… – Ultimately, everything is out of our personal control and it is not our fault!

The thing about blaming, even if it is ‘justified’ is that it never ends and blamers never truly get better or improve. They don’t have to, they’ve got something or someone to blame. They don’t improve and you know it. It’s not their fault, after all.

Okay, swallow hard. I am not saying anything is anyone’s fault, breathe. Now, explore for a moment how the above statements and suggestions made you feel emotionally. Angry? Sad? Lost? Wanting to give up or give in?

The mere mention of fault raises awareness to so many emotions, doesn’t it? Most of which do not feel good, do they? In those feelings and emotions created by fault, that’s where blame is born, but the reality is that blame is even worse than fault, because blame allows us to be self-inhibited and self-defeated and most importantly, it’s not our fault. Blame is self-protection and self-preservation at its worst!

Fault and blame are the core problems with the saying ‘You are what you think you are.’ and are major reasons so many people fail to thrive or even fail to want to thrive. Who wants the responsibility to be who they truly think they are? Do you? Some do, no matter the issues they face, no matter their mistakes or continuous obstacles in their path.

It’s all about responsibility.

That’s one major difference in those who overcome and those who don’t, but the key to responsibility is that there is no one and nothing at fault and there is no one and nothing to blame, not even yourself! That’s the most well guarded secret there is. It’s such a well guarded secret, because few want to believe it.

If we can remove who or what is at fault and remove any blame, then responsibility comes naturally and life begins to improve by looking for valid, workable and achievable solutions for our personal situations and conditions. Fault and blame are the most self-defeating and self-limiting factors of human nature, they blind us from finding what could work in reaching our own true potential. How many times has someone told you that you have so much potential, but yet you never seem to achieve it?

Think about it.

If, for example, we believe that we can never reach our potential because of ADHD, that’s okay, because ADHD certainly is real and challenging. But is it really okay? Think about it, if we place fault and blame on ADHD, then workable and achievable solutions may always be out of our reach. Does using fault and blame really make us feel better though? Yet we do it naturally and sometimes without realizing it. By taking control of fault and blame, not allowing them to work within us uninhibited, we can then remove those blinders and see things differently. Sounds easy right? Okay, no it doesn’t, but it could make all the difference.

Remember though, I am not saying ADHD is not a reason for many of our behaviors. That’s not what I am saying at all. Reasons are quite different from fault or blame.