How to stop striving for perfection and approval, that’s what this post and my latest FREE eBook is about.
Special shout-out to Healthline for awarding my blog, one of the best ADHD blogs on the web! Thank you!
I am a recovering perfectionist.
I’ve never been perfect, mind you, not even close. But that didn’t stop me from striving to be.
I always thought, somewhere in the back of my mind, that if I could achieve perfection then I would also achieve approval.
It’s not that I told myself those things. No. It was behind the scenes of my thoughts that the idea was somehow planted, grew roots and those roots eventually strangled my creativity, my goals, my hopes, my enjoyment and my happiness.
And, I have ADHD, too!
I didn’t know that I was a perfectionist until I was diagnosed with ADHD and quite a ways into treatment. I was diagnosed with ADHD (ADD) at the age of 37.
I then had to evaluate my entire life, why I did things, why I thought the things I thought and I had to learn to modify my behavior deliberately.
It can be done.
It required working through denial, through false beliefs and cultivating a more positive mindset and much, much more (I wrote a book about it), not to mention realizing and admitting that I was a perfectionist.
When it was suggested that I am a perfectionist I had to chuckle, then laugh and then, finally, take it seriously, and eventually, the tears came. Because it was true.
Being a perfectionist does not mean you do anything perfect. Nope. If you have ADHD, it often means you block yourself from completing anything at all.
Anyone can succumb to perfectionism.
Whether you have ADHD or not. However, I believe people with ADHD are much more susceptible.
No one likes to make mistakes, no one likes to do the wrong things and no one likes to get into trouble (Okay, maybe some people like to, but I am going to assume most don’t). And yet, people with ADHD tend to grow up all the while in constant trouble, seemingly always doing the wrong things and forever making mistakes.
Approval is rare. And it’s fleeting, because the next shoe will drop, and soon. Tweet This!
I don’t know when exactly, but at a young age I somehow caught on to the belief that if I could become perfect then I would never make a mistake again and I would gain approval. Clearly, a childish thought. Outlandish, really. But powerful.
Indeed, yet many of us buy into such thoughts without ever actually realizing it. I know I did. Such thoughts, such beliefs, they have devastating consequences.
Ah, to be perfect, to not make mistakes, to not say the wrong things, to be what others want me to be so that I can have their approval, their complements, their pats on the back!
It’s one thing to have ADHD and try to just get something done, anything, but when stuck in the belief that something must be perfect, whether realizing it or not, there’s no way in the world to ever be satisfied or content, much less gain approval.
Know what I mean? Have you been there and done that?
Stop Seeking Perfection and Approval.
Easier said than done. I know.
Do you want to know how I did it? Do you want to know how others, perhaps even you, might be able to do it? Or perhaps you simply like to read thought-provoking, inspiring, eBooks?
Then read my latest eBook. It’s free. Priceless!
You only need to sign-up to our free community ADDer World to download it. It is in the FREE ebook section. You will be joining over 4000 others for great peer support and free content. You will need a valid email address to join and you can create a unique username.
Click Here to join ADDer World and download your free copy of “Good Enough – Stop Seeking Perfection and Approval”. The free eBooks menu is at the top of the website, but is only visible to members. Join. It’s free.
Have you had difficulty with seeking perfection and approval? Tell us in the comments. And after you read the eBook, tell us what you thought of it.
Enjoy!
Bryan
