I am pleased, proud and thankful to announce the publication of my new book: The Brilliant Reality of ADHD!
In many ways The Brilliant Reality of ADHD is a continuation of my first book One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir and in many ways it set’s itself apart.
When I started writing openly on the Internet, on this blog, I wrote strictly from my experiences, my life, my lessons learned and most of all, from my heart. I still write from all of those things and my writing has become enhanced by you, the readers. Thanks to your emails, your comments, your encouragements and yes, also your critique, my views and opinions have broadened beyond what I could have ever imagined. Thank you!
A brief history:
When I began writing my first book One Boy’s Struggle I had no intention of publishing it. It was an effort to get my thoughts into print for myself. After years of professional therapy to overcome depression and PTSD, I was finally diagnosed with ADHD and with the diagnosis came a rush of understanding that was both exhilarating and maddening – I was upset, frustrated and initially my depression set back in with the oldest question of questions: Why me?
A special thanks to Dr. Gary! He helped me learn how my experiences gave me a special set of survival skills and he helped me see how the ways I created to cope with undiagnosed ADD were used to survive, but not only simply survive: also to rise and to thrive beyond the expectations of anyone, especially myself. Like too many others, I did not have any advantage that may come with early diagnosis or medication or specific consideration. Through it all, I had to make it, find ways and it all depended on me with no regard to the underlying condition of ADHD. With my life story One Boy’s Struggle I decided to revise it by explaining, the best I could, how my survival skills came about, how they eventually worked to my advantage and why – hence the eventual subtitle Surviving Life with Undiagnosed ADD. – With this, it became obvious how important and helpful my book could be for others who have suffered and, in many cases, are still suffering from undiagnosed and diagnosed ADHD, my books and efforts are for people with ADHD of all ages and parents, educators, professionals, everyone.
A Brilliant Reality:
I am making it and I believe you can too, anyone can, we just have to find our way and it is my hope, as it has been, that my stories and experiences, lessons learned and tribulations endured and happiness found will help you and others find a way. You can, I can, we all can!
Let’s be there for each other and lift each other up, congratulate each other, praise each other and console each other when needed, but most of all: Let’s care. That is what I have found in the ADHD community, along with those who support us – I like to call this:
You and me
—–
ADHD
Is it a Gift? Or is it a Curse?
I am a positive thinker. I do not believe in doom and gloom, – well, let me be candid here, I should put in there “not anymore”, because, I used to be. I used to hate myself and hate my confusing habits, but, you know what? In order to even be diagnosed properly with ADHD my therapist needed almost a decade to sort through and help me understand my pessimism, my self depreciation, loathing and disrespect of my own life, before, the reality of my underlying condition could be properly recognized and treated. Once ADHD was clearly diagnosed I was finally able to get the proper assistance I needed, along with the therapy I was already receiving. Diagnosis gave me a better understanding of why. It seems all of my life I was always asking that confounding question “Why me???” Diagnosis gave me direction, awareness and pride – pride for not being stupid, lazy or crazy! What’s so wrong with that?
Since the early days of therapy Dr. Gary (my therapist) made clear to me that negative thinking, and stress there from, could possibly be the most damaging aspect of one’s overall health. I had many symptoms of illness that it was ridiculous and I couldn’t get past any of them. I truly believed that I deserved to be sick, it was my fault – I couldn’t live up to anyone’s expectations. “You could be so much Bryan, if you just want to be.” I know, I know, but, really, I can’t and I won’t, so just go away, leave me alone. Self pity much? It was pathetic. It was my Pathetic Reality. That’s how I thought of it.
Today is a different day for me. I consider anyone and everyone to be Brilliant in their own special way. The Brilliant Reality of ADHD is that we are not alone, people care and there is help to be found. The Brilliant Reality of ADHD is that we are alive, breathing the crisp morning air and have a chance to be something more than what we thought we could be. Tomorrow is another day, tomorrow can be a better day and today isn’t so bad anyway. The Brilliant Reality of ADHD, or even LIFE, is that we can be loved and we can love. I am damn proud to be me and I am damn proud in how far I have come in my own self awareness and ability to live a positive fulfilling life in the way that I want to. I tried ever so hard to be what other people wanted me to be and I failed constantly, and with that failure I just could not measure up. In being who I am I can be better for others too. What’s wrong with “Yes we can!”? There is no problem in “Yes we can!” The problem is for those who haven’t found their way yet and can’t or won’t believe that there is a way and they want others to believe that too. It becomes:
The Curse of ADHD!
Oh, that’s positive, that’s a step forward, oh, the accomplishments indeed. I feel valued and alive in such a statement. Well, maybe not! My mother often said to me “Nobody ever did anything with ‘I can’t’” and at the time I couldn’t. Yes I can! Yes I will and Yes I have. ADDers do this can’t stuff to fellow ADDers: Okay, now it’s time to get a grip before you seem narcissistic or egotistic. Step forward to be knocked back a few steps. The support system is geared to get you there and then once your there, to knock you back before you inspire anyone or give them any false hope. Maybe that’s not entirely the case, but, that’s how it comes across. Can’t be everything to everyone. There’s that word again ‘can’t’ and who doesn’t agree with that? Should I title my new book The Sad Reality of ADHD? I can, but I ‘won’t’.
When there is a will there is a way. There really is. But that’s the problem with ADHD, the ‘will’ part seems to be missing. However, there is treatment available, there are people who care, there is a way and maybe, just maybe there is a step forward, a light at the end of the tunnel. There is no cure for ADHD and yet it can be managed. It will always be there and it will always provide challenges, but if you think for a moment that anyone else on earth doesn’t have challenges to overcome with or without ADHD you are way mistaken. The grass is always greener. The air is always better over there. Challenges can make us or break us and with ADHD, the breaking part is way too often the case. It doesn’t have to be. With a proper diagnosis and proper treatment – whatever that might be for the person with ADHD – things can be better. For some they haven’t gotten there yet and that doesn’t mean they won’t get there. If they think they ‘can’t’ they won’t.
The Brilliant Reality of ADHD is that when there is a will, there is a way – yes we can and yes we will! The Brilliant Reality of ADHD is that you and me, we are not alone in our struggles and our challenges. The Brilliant Reality of ADHD is that when properly treated, even with ADHD, great things can be achieved! And who defines what is great? Each individual for him or herself. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you are worthless and that ADHD will hold you back from a fulfilling life or that your child will never be able to grow up successful to raise a family or care for others. Nobody ever did anything with ‘can’t’ and nobody ever will. If you’re not there yet – keep on keeping on. You do not have to do it on your own, find the ones who care, who understand, and above all, who are supportive.
You are The Brilliant Reality of ADHD – even if you do not have ADHD and you are supporting those who do have ADHD, then yes, you are indeed The Brilliant Reality of ADHD! The Brilliant Reality is not about having ADHD, it is about LIFE and being in it!
Have a delightfully brilliant day!
~Bryan
