Motivational and inspirational writer, Bryan Hutchinson is the author of several books about life with ADHD including the highly acclaimed, best selling "One Boy′s Struggle: A Memoir" and the author of the hilarious eBook that went viral "10 Things I Hate about ADHD"

Impulsiveness meets Passion meets Infatuation meets Love?

So Special – So Sweet.

There comes a moment, a moment in time when you meet someone, someone so special; there is no other who can compare, no words can describe, but inside you, you know that this is the one – oh yes, sweet, delicious, luscious, YES!

Every heartbeat exemplifies. This one, this oh, oh, so perfect one, who’s mere existence explains why the world exists, why the sun comes up and why the stars twinkle.

This person smiles so brightly, has such kind words to say, wants to see you each and every day. Heaven is everywhere, all around you, within you. You can’t sleep, much less think of anything, or anyone, else. The world is new – there is finally reason to the madness and everything, everything is so gloriously clear, finally, at long last.

Have you ever been so lucky? So blessed? To be loved for you, who you are, who you really, truly, magnificently, are? Without criticism, with your imperfections, without deliberate corrections to your manners, with your missteps? You can do no wrong. To trip, to slip, to fall, a hand reaches out so kindly and lifts you up.

Love exists.

The myths, the tall tales, the movies, all are true!

Why can’t others understand the happiness and be happy for you? They are jealous. They tell you to slow down, take a breath, see the steps before you and walk them with open eyes.

Your eyes are wide open. You are aware, far and away more aware than you have ever been before!

Why – why can’t they understand?

Finally, someone understands you. Finally, someone cares for you. Finally, what you have been searching for is right in the palm of your hand and others want to take it from you, want to steal it, want to deny you the happiness you so deserve.

Haven’t you been through enough pain? Haven’t you endured enough? Enough is enough, this time, this special, loving, caring, wonderful time, is, yours!  

To be taken in the arms of love, to feel the warm, sweet, beautiful embrace –

oh, sweet, heaven, on, earth!

Yes! Yes!

YES!

If only others could understand.

Perhaps they have never felt this, this bliss, never had this and therefore cannot possibly understand, cannot possibly fathom what is going on within two hearts kindled by the passion of a fire so hot, so bright, so close and near. Ah, but they will see the truth and their jealously will give way to understanding in time. Yes, in time, they too will see and they will want what I have, indeed, they will see.

Yes, oh sweet, precious – Yes! YES!

Oh, my, in the light of the brightest day, YES!

As it were…

As the leaves turn, autumn comes and goes, winter sets in and the snow falls. For some reason, this year, the moonlight doesn’t seem to dance on the falling snow. It somehow seems so grey, so dull, and so passionless.

This Christmas will not be special, no fire in the fireplace to warm the room and no arms to feel around your heart. It had started out so perfectly, every dream was coming true.

What happened?

The world was so very perfect. It was the summer of ages.

It’s my fault.

It didn’t last because I was finally visible, my imperfections became so clear. I couldn’t find the right words anymore. I couldn’t keep up the charade. I cannot be, and will never be, loved.

In the spring new life will be due,

a baby will be born.

It was thoughtless, it was careless, the warning signs were all there and yet, who could have known?

Should’ve known, could’ve known. It is so clear now, so very clear.

And the guard rises once again, higher than ever before, never to be broken, never to be crossed, never to be deceived, never to be cheated, never to be taken advantage of! No! Never!

Time passes. Time heals all wounds. Time takes the memories and dulls them. And then, finally, thankfully, the time has come…

Once again…

You know me? Yes, you do. You see me for who I really am? You care for me? Truly, you care for me!

Thank goodness you have come.

No, don’t speak, let’s just be, let’s just let the stars lead us where they may. We need not understand, we need not compare, we need not find fault, there’s been too much of that already.

No, my precious, you are perfect, I care not and want not to know of your faults, what you think or believe, whatever is in your mind, it doesn’t matter. Allow our passion to rule, it will lead us to the promise land.

Let’s take this gift and be happy for it and give thanks through our love for it. No, please, don’t speak… Let’s not listen to others.

They are jealous, they know not, they understand not…

And the circle goes unbroken.

In the spring… new life is due…

~Bryan

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sherry October 15, 2009 at 12:00 pm

I like this , this is suppose to be what real love is, It is so special and yes everyone is jeolous , but who cares if your happy that is all that matters. I had that once but, now I have that great big wall up again because, I don’t want to feel that pain when you loose it.It like starting over and just begining again. I just have to have the stregth to bring that wall down when it appears in my life again.

Bryan Hutchinson October 16, 2009 at 7:07 am

Hi Sherry,

I tend to think we create our walls because the passion was so intense for us ADDers that we often ignore the messages that do not have to do with our feelings of being ‘in love’, I mean, there’s time later for the details of the relationship (right?)and sometimes we ignore those details to our detriment without realizing we’ve ignored them until it’s too late.

Then, when the relationship ends for not seeing the ‘signs’ or the relevant information that would help keep a relationship alive for the long haul, we don’t realize that and we just think these terrible thoughts about ourselves which are usually not relevant, or true, for that matter.

The wall comes up, we guard our hearts and then as time passes and we are ready to step back into trying again, sometimes we haven’t truly learned why our relationships start fast, hard and intense and always eventually seem to end so abruptly, or in distress and we blame all kinds of factors, except the most relevant, because we were distracted by the ‘ohhh shiny’ of the passion, we were impulsive and thought we were in love and everything was so, so perfect….

There’s always a morning after and what happens then depends on the factors we recognized and paid attention to and nurtured… something I think happens a lot in such situations is that our parents, friends, co-works or whoever, can see we are going too fast, ignoring certain relevant character traits of the ‘new shiney’ person and we dismiss those warnings as jealousy and what have you…

What do you think of this, looking at it in that frame?
:)

Bryan

Brenda October 15, 2009 at 4:53 pm

Bryan, how beautifully stated and so true. Continue using the gift God has given you to reach and touch others as you do me every time I read your articles.

Bryan Hutchinson October 16, 2009 at 7:10 am

Thank you Brenda, very nice of you to say so.

Joan October 15, 2009 at 6:37 pm

Gorgeous! I got you babe…

Bryan Hutchinson October 16, 2009 at 7:12 am

Joan: Sweet!
:)

DJc October 15, 2009 at 9:40 pm

Bryan,

You’ve got it.

This type of writing can’t be taught.

It’s beautifully poignant.

DJc

Bryan Hutchinson October 16, 2009 at 7:15 am

Thank you.

Nicole Etler October 16, 2009 at 5:40 am

Love it,
And you are a lucky man to have Joan.

Nicole

Bryan Hutchinson October 16, 2009 at 7:15 am

Indeed Nicole! I am glad you enjoyed it.

Riri October 16, 2009 at 9:04 am

Aaaaawwwwwwwwww….it’s a beautiful prose but also made me a bit sad….

I’m still single :(

Bryan Hutchinson October 18, 2009 at 8:16 am

Thank you Riri… you know, sometimes I think that it is during times of being single that we learn the most about love and relationships. If we take the time to reflect, but reflecting on the good things that were right too… sometimes we reflect on the mistakes we make so much that we ignore the good and what we did right…

Anyway, I know yours is coming :)

Dana October 17, 2009 at 12:36 am

Oh, my gosh, Bryan! You had my heart simply FLUTTERING with delight! I sat in complete anticipation, excited to hear the love story, the never ending joy shared between two and I totally felt the excitement of new romance!

Have you seriously considered writing a love story? I am not kidding you, Bryan, you are gifted for writing! I think that there is a spectacular fiction hiding inside of you just waiting to get read!

Trust me……Females LOVE reading romance novels and it is one thing that totally grabs our attention, regardless of ADD!

The one phrase that I can relate to as an ADDer is when you said, “Sometimes we haven’t truly learned why our relationships start fast, hard and intense and always eventually seem to end so abruptly, or in distress and we blame all kinds of factors, except the most relevant, because we were distracted by the ‘ohhh shiny’ of the passion, we were impulsive and thought we were in love and everything was so, so perfect….”

Sadly, I have “been there & done that” more times than I would like to remember. The one thing that I have learned through experience & maturity is that the harder, more intense & faster a new relationship begins, the more difficult it is after the relationship suddenly crumbles to a million pieces!

I had to remind myself as I was growing up to WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE! Yet, there I was, once again, flying high, feeling like I was on “cloud 9,” smiling, laughing, waiting for the next time to see my perfect new love of my life! Oh, the joy was ecstatic, I was passionately in love with the most perfect man on earth!

At least he was the most perfect man on earth, until he dumped me. In a state of shock, paralyzed that my new love had gone astray, I spent days crying, rehearsing everything that I SHOULD have said, but did NOT remember to say because ADHD was getting in my way!

Slowly, gradually, day by day, week by week, as each new season came and past, my heart would eventually recover from being torn to shreds. Amazingly, new love would ALWAYS find me ready & willing to start new!

Maybe I am just a hopeless romantic? But I still hang onto the thread of hope that “true love” does exist on earth. Perhaps, that is why I so enjoy writing fascinating fairytales about perfect love?

This was one of my MOST favorite posts of yours, Bryan! FOUR STARS and I can’t wait to read more!

Bryan Hutchinson October 18, 2009 at 8:30 am

Dana, thank you, that paragraph you quoted says it all, actually. It’s the hidden meaning behind this post. “Smell the coffee”, as you mention is very difficult for us to do when caught between the arms of love’s intense rapture.

I do plan on writing more of this type of post. I don’t know if I will ever write a full book of heartfelt romance, well, I think I already did, in my first book. I am working on something though ;) If you liked this post then you will certainly like One Boy’s Struggle, it’s from the same ‘well’ sort of speak. I opened up about my relationships in that book unlike any other time in my life and I think those stories have a lot to do with why my book has become so well received and popular. The heart is a special place and we know it well… don’t we?

Katy B. "Miss K" October 17, 2009 at 3:48 am

I have a nice relationship now, but I have to be honest…the impulsiveness, passion and infatuation in my entire life prior to this, truly brought me nothing but danger and misery.

Oh no wait, it also brought crazy, passionate love affairs and hot sex.

Love, not so much. Misery and emptiness: in buckets. Regrets, not really…but pain? Still working through it.

I guess it boils down to this…relationships are great when they work out. And for me as an ADHDer this has been a particularly painful category of life to deal with.

Not saying people shouldn’t go nuts and have some fun, I mean some people really NEED to take more chances, and sometimes the results can be beautiful! I did myself in a bit with it though, and I daresay damaged myself in some ways I WISH I hadn’t, but probably couldn’t have stopped myself from. I think most people would have to go pretty far to catch up though…so heck with it, go nuts, give in, let your impulses go wild once in a while…just be careful to own your mistakes when you make them. Don’t torture yourself…but you’ll learn more if you own them ;)

Bryan Hutchinson October 18, 2009 at 8:32 am

Ah Katy, but this type of torture is the sweetest kind… isn’t it?
;)

Katy B. "Miss K" October 17, 2009 at 3:48 am

I have a nice relationship now, but I have to be honest…the impulsiveness, passion and infatuation in my entire life prior to this, truly brought me nothing but danger and misery.

Oh no wait, it also brought crazy, passionate love affairs and hot sex.

Love, not so much. Misery and emptiness: in buckets. Regrets, not really…but pain? Still working through it.

I guess it boils down to this…relationships are great when they work out. And for me as an ADHDer this has been a particularly painful category of life to deal with.

Not saying people shouldn’t go nuts and have some fun, I mean some people really NEED to take more chances, and sometimes the results can be beautiful! I did myself in a bit with it though, and I daresay damaged myself in some ways I WISH I hadn’t, but probably couldn’t have stopped myself from. I think most people would have to go pretty far to catch up though…so heck with it, go nuts, give in, let your impulses go wild once in a while…just be careful to own your mistakes when you make them. Don’t torture yourself…but you’ll learn more if you own them ;)

Katy B. "Miss K" October 17, 2009 at 3:48 am

I have a nice relationship now, but I have to be honest…the impulsiveness, passion and infatuation in my entire life prior to this, truly brought me nothing but danger and misery.

Oh no wait, it also brought crazy, passionate love affairs and hot sex.

Love, not so much. Misery and emptiness: in buckets. Regrets, not really…but pain? Still working through it.

I guess it boils down to this…relationships are great when they work out. And for me as an ADHDer this has been a particularly painful category of life to deal with.

Not saying people shouldn’t go nuts and have some fun, I mean some people really NEED to take more chances, and sometimes the results can be beautiful! I did myself in a bit with it though, and I daresay damaged myself in some ways I WISH I hadn’t, but probably couldn’t have stopped myself from. I think most people would have to go pretty far to catch up though…so heck with it, go nuts, give in, let your impulses go wild once in a while…just be careful to own your mistakes when you make them. Don’t torture yourself…but you’ll learn more if you own them ;)

Jakob October 17, 2009 at 4:04 am

In truth, I immediately i didn’t understand the essence of this story. But after re-reading all at once became clear. Very sad, but true.

Joy P. October 17, 2009 at 8:09 am

Oh Bryan!…this is my all time favorite posting of yours. It made me giggle and feel a little sad at the same time. Your words ring so true and I love and appreciate the beautiful vulnerbility of how we experience love and passion for another when we open ourself up to it. After reading it a few times, I feel it is better to truly live in the moment and experience the joy and passion of unconditional love for another instead of choosing to keep the wall up as to not get hurt. Which pain is worse?…..Closing yourself up so no one can hurt you or living life large by loving unconditionally and sharing your wonderful self with another with the possibility of getting hurt? Life is truly meant to be lived to the fullest so that we may joyfully experience who we really are and share our wonderful, magnificant, fabulous self with others! I choose love, joy and passion so that I may live “all out” and feel alive and experience a life well lived!! Wa-hoo!!

Dana October 17, 2009 at 9:36 pm

Joy, I LOVE what you wrote, “Life is truly meant to be lived to the fullest so that we may joyfully experience who we really are and share our wonderful, magnificent, fabulous self with others! I choose love, joy and passion so that I may live “all out” and feel alive and experience a life well lived!! Wa-hoo!”

I agree with that statement 100% and I believe that when others bring up the walls around them to protect their hearts, truly they are missing out on fabulous opportunities to grow as a human being and to learn from past mistakes.

There is so much that life offers and so much beauty in having love in our life. Sure, the reality of love is that it may hurt and disappoint us at times, but is that a good enough reason to totally give up on love to choose to never fall in love again?

Like Joy, I choose to live life to the fullest, to take risks even if it may mean that I get hurt or disappointed in the end! I chose joy, passion, giving, sharing and allowing myself to receive all the magnificent, wonderful love, passion and joy in return!

Life is short……Grab onto living life to the fullest right this moment before your life passes you by. If nothing else, I will leave behind a legacy of love for all to remember.

Bryan Hutchinson October 18, 2009 at 8:44 am

Dana: “Life is short……Grab onto living life to the fullest right this moment before your life passes you by. If nothing else, I will leave behind a legacy of love for all to remember.”

The strength of a made up mind! :)

Bryan Hutchinson October 18, 2009 at 8:41 am

Now that IS the question Joy and we all have to make it, and, I think we do, even if we do not fully realize it… don’t you? Keep on keeping on! Like you said: Wa-hoo!! It’s one heck of a ride, but the pain, it never subsides, even later, as the years have passed, those memories, they continue to bite, we remember, no, we never, never ever forget… do we?

Heather October 20, 2009 at 5:10 am

Wow Bryan. You know I always thought there was something really wrong with me falling so deeply “in love” with oh which ever guy didn’t seem to mind showing a minute amount of interest. Being impulsive is one thing but when you impulsively latch on to someone and don’t let go… and they don’t run away screaming…but choose to stick around… well obviously that must mean something, right?

oh, it doesn’t? Now you tell me, now that it’s too late and my heart’s been crushed and I feel like a stupid fool.

But do I learn? No… I swore I would, but then ‘he’ came along and he acted so sincere and I fall crazy in love all over again.

I always thought it was just me.
I’m glad it’s not.. for my sake.
I’m sorry it’s not.. for everyone elses sake.

Bryan Hutchinson October 20, 2009 at 8:00 am

Hi Heather,

You wrote: “But do I learn? No… I swore I would, but then ‘he’ came along and he acted so sincere and I fall crazy in love all over again.” So many of us do that and we tend to hate what we did afterwards and swear to never do it again, but we do and sometimes we get lucky, but usually we don’t. Also, although the guys don’t seem to want to comment on this article, remember I am a guy and I wrote it, so it’s not just an issue for the gals. The comments and emails have inspired me to keep writing about this subject… stay tuned ;)

Bryan

Naga November 27, 2012 at 4:41 pm

Hi Bryan,

you have so wonderfully woven the lines in perfect harmony, that I could feel every word in its totality that makes the heart light. Marvellous piece but about that kind of love, the unsullied, unrequited, selfless love for a lost cause which makes a person drive into madness and craziness every moment since that person felt the warmth of the heart of the other, and even though it may be a lost cause of love but takes that love in the heart till it stops no matter whether the two unite in life.

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