Have you ever wondered about what success means to you? I mean, what it really means? Not just the definition, but rather what it feels like to be successful, to achieve something of significant relevance to you? I think for people with ADHD, like me and maybe you, the very word and the meaning of success is alien. We have read about it and heard about it and yet, rarely have we identified with it.

Are you successful?

 If that seems like a loaded question, it’s not, but I think to a lot of us, it seems that there may be some hidden implication within the question itself. If you say yes, then you are lying and displaying conceitedness! How dare you! Bow your head in proper shame. That’s not the voice from someone else; as a matter of fact it’s not a voice at all. It’s a perception that many of us have. It’s a rather solid perception too, because without hesitation we can back it up with a long list of failures that will cut us to the quick faster than we can even think. But, there’s more to it.

“Let us not look back in anger, nor forward in fear, but around in awareness.”

~Unknown

It’s a harsh reality in the ADHD world, but let’s face it and put it right out there in the open: insecurities are not attractive, not sexy and in no way come across as positive statements in attracting a loving, caring partner.

Ouch!

It’s a glaring hindrance to fulfilling relationships for many people with ADHD, especially for undiagnosed or untreated ADDers and that is “insecurity”. Insecurities come across in many ways and most of those ways are ‘in disguise’!

Here are a few of them:

• Jealousy
• Acting funny (when the situation doesn’t call for it)
• Teasing
• Arrogance
• Negativity
• Distancing (not calling, staying away or just being quiet)
• Anger

…reach for the stars and I hope you actually reach high enough to put one of them into your pocket…

Should I dream? Should I aspire? Should I want for more? To be more? Should I lift myself up after falling? Should I try again and again?

We have heroes, they inspire us, they motivate us and yet, only a fraction, a measly percentage of people will accomplish even a fraction of what their heroes have achieved and accomplished. The dream then, it would seem, is too big and unforgiving. The challenge perhaps then is to have a dream at all, for we know not how far we will go and along the way there will be many who tell us we are trying too hard, we want it too much, that we will only hurt ourselves, after all, we are setting ourselves up for failure. Remember, and read this well, only a very small fraction actually reach the heights of our heroes.