Every now and then I will come across the strangest suggestions and the oddest questions. I am sure you have too. One of the strangest suggestions I came across recently is that people, especially children, with ADHD should not look up to, aspire to be or admire successful people with ADHD. I suppose there may be several potential reasons for this idea: Having goals that are too high, fear they will suffer great disappointment aspiring to such greatness or be hurt if they discover that they can’t necessarily be exactly like their heroes.
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I guess we could call those reasonable reasons, but what I am getting from this are a few things that come directly to mind:

• People with ADHD should not be inspired or motivated by people with ADHD who have gone before them and especially not those who have succeeded.

But is it helpful? Does negativity help someone gain friends? Is it a likable characteristic or make a person enjoyable to be around? Does it help one find a job or retain a job and become someone who is respected and admired?
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I believe that our attitude is within our control and can be modified.
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(Disclaimer: what follows is only my opinion, read it at your own risk. Take it or leave it as any reader sees fit. I have the greatest respect for those suffering from co-morbid conditions such as ODD or Bipolar and this post does not encompass co-morbid conditions.).

Put a bulletin board on your wall and make it a happiness board.

I’ve always had difficulty with personal “deadlines” and “goals”. I wave at them as they pass by unfinished or, in most cases, not even started. However, I have found a way to turn my wants, needs and desires into visual reminders. I’ve learned that the more my mind is reminded of something in a pleasant, pressure free way, the more likely I am to do it. Because of this I created a visual “happiness board”. It’s on the wall just above my desk where I write every day.

When I was writing One Boy’s Struggle, I created a mock-up cover and pinned it to my happiness board. I set no deadline to complete the book, but somehow that picture reminded me every day that I would finish it and, I did!

It’s wonderful to have friends, especially those who encourage us to be the best that we can be. However, it’s also important to remember that we tend to emulate the people we are around the most. If we’ve fallen into a pessimistic, negative or downbeat group, then perhaps we need to adjust our friendships, especially if we want to move on to happier horizons.

Friendships are incredibly important. Therefore:

Choose friends wisely.

If you truly want to be happy, my experience is to choose friends that encourage and support you, have an optimistic nature and like you for who you are and who you are becoming. Consider the direction you are going and the direction you want to go, and then hang around and befriend people that are as you would like to become. As they say, if you want to be happy, surround yourself with happy people, because they will rub off on you!

Today I would like to pass on my heartfelt thanks to you, the readers! Thanks for the opportunity to write about something that means so much to me! Well, I’ve thought a lot about what I want to write in this post, but there are no perfect words, so please allow me to skip directly to the gift giving!
 
In the tradition of the holidays and to pass on my deepest thanks to you, I am giving away my latest eBook, How to be Happy Every Day – Even if you have ADHD. It is my holiday gift to you. Click Here to download and save it. Nothing is required of you, simply click the link and it is yours.