There’s a downside to ADHD that spirals many of us out of control and that is the power of hecklers and naysayers who will do and say anything and everything to get others to see the worst in themselves, their situation and life in general. You know the one’s I am talking about (hint, they are not those people who see, or point out, the best in you). They are the people who agree with everything you can’t do and explain in every way imaginable, as scientifically, historically and logically possible that because you have ADHD the challenges you face are impossible to overcome, much less to succeed in whatever endeavor you might attempt.
The hecklers and naysayers want you realize that because of ADHD you can’t do anything and because you have ADHD you will never be able to do anything. As a matter of fact, the research suggests you might as well never try crossing a street, driving a car, nor having any meaningful relationships.
Oh, and did I tell you, it gets much worse than that! Don’t you dare try to think anything positive about yourself, because, every time you take a step forward, you will take 3 steps backwards (see, you’re nodding your head and that’s where it starts). There are successful people with ADHD? Oh, you’re talking about many of the most successful people of our time! Forget about them, they are anomalies. Sure, they have been diagnosed with ADHD, but what you should realize and focus on is that most people in prison have undiagnosed ADHD. It’s been proven (ignore the undiagnosed part, please), because research suggests it. Learn to focus on the things that matter, take ADHD seriously, so seriously that you can see absolutely nothing positive about having it, which really encompasses everything about you and there’s nothing positive about you either, just so we are clear. In short, you suck, so get used to it.
Here’s my suggestion – avoid the hecklers and naysayers like the plague. Walk away and do not engage in their doomsday talk. Take a good look at them, who they are, what they are about, and how well they are doing – then ask yourself one question: Do you want to be like them? If you do, that’s fine and your prerogative, good luck with that. But who really wants to go to the desert, put their head in the sand while waiting for the world to explode? (Well, the hecklers and naysayers don’t want to go either, they are more interested in making everyone else give up, so that they are not alone.)
If, on the other hand, you want to go another way and see things in a more advantageous light to discover and use the gifts you possess to live the best possible life that you possibly can: Find those who support you, motivate you, encourage you and truly care about you. Those people exist, too.
The problem with finding a good support network is that we usually search for, and find, what we are focusing on the most and then seek confirmation. If you believe the worst of having ADHD you will find support that confirms your inner most fears and worst nightmares, and they will accept you with open arms. They will let you know that any of those who believe otherwise are disillusioned and any success they have had in life is just an illusion, eventually any success must blow up in their face. Listen to them closely, because if ADHD hasn’t ruined you yet, those new supporters of your worst nightmares are going to take you to the next lower level.
Keep in mind, though, that attitude has nothing to do with it, so it’s okay to have a bad, negative, defeated attitude, as pessimistic as possible. Attitude is irrelevant so feel free to give up.
ADHD is difficult enough, but when you fall prey to the hecklers and naysayers, well, let’s just say ADHD will no longer be the most difficult of your challenges. My advice: recognize and avoid them.
Okay, final words of what I am trying to say here: We can’t ignore the challenges we face with ADHD, no, ADHD itself won’t let us. But, we have possibilities, too, and we shouldn’t ignore those either, or allow ourselves to be talked out of striving to thrive. Don’t let anyone make you believe you can’t achieve, you can’t dream or that you can’t make something wonderful of your life, because you can!