Lately I have been reading a lot about the strength based approach to managing, coping and, more importantly, striving and thriving with ADHD! It’s a contagious, positive and wonderful new movement and I like to think I have been a small part of helping push this movement into the forefront by writing my blog, my books and eBooks.
I really like his use of ADHD! It’s a new way of looking at ADHD. We can talk about the difficulties, the challenges and the disadvantages of ADHD all day long. We can read about and study what the science tells us and what the statistics show us, but there’s one thing I have noticed, and that is that those who believe in and live by their strengths, whereby one uses what they can do well to their advantage seem to be happier and live more fulfilling lives.
It’s nearing the end of the year and as I do {most} every year, I am going to take a moment to reflect a little. In the past when I reflected back on year’s gone by, I had a tendency to look at the negative things that affected me, but not this time, not this year! I am not going to write about how I survived a terrible bout of Mono, no, not going to do that. Not going to talk about strangely swollen glands or, wanting to sleep, but couldn’t. Nope, not going there, not going to talk about how I had a root removal and synthetic transplant and another tooth pulled, or how taking antibiotics temporarily covered me in a rash due to undiagnosed Mono. The rash was a gift as it helped discover the Mono (ha!). Did I mention when I rushed to the hospital no less than 3 times? Nope, like I said, I am not going to talk about those things. I am not even going to write about some very ugly online attacks towards me because I write positive things about ADHD! Personally, I think those attacks demonstrate more about those writers than it does about me. Nope, not going to write about that either.
True love, with the right person, at the right time, as unpredictable as that may be, can be, and I believe is, the best self-medication the universe has ever created!
The last month or so I have been writing rather frequently about love, relationships and the connection to us ADDers in general, from my point of view. I don’t know exactly why I started this indulgence; therefore, to answer a lot of emails in one post, the answer I come up with, and believe the closest to my true motivation, is that I enjoy it. I take pleasure in writing about love and relationship, probably more than I enjoy writing about anything else. It’s self-indulgence, I know. Forgive me.
It seems though, that many of you have found connections in the posts I write and that means a lot to me.
Here’s a top ten list I have put together of things to do and NOT do with your ADHD partner:
Do not:
Do not play parent (motherly or fatherly)
Do not take on the sole responsibility of trying to correct his or her behavior
Do not blame every aspect of the relationship which might be damaged on his or her ADHD
Do not make statements which are demeaning with the hope that it will spark his or her attention that they must make corrective efforts.
Do not say things like: “This is the right way to do this or that.” Or “That’s not the way things should be done.”
Do not take his or her hyper focusing on projects or people, places or things personally. Hyper focusing is not about your relationship directly or indirectly, it’s a difficult to control or much less, predict, trait of ADHD.
Since I have started this blog and published my first book One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir, the most frequent and prevalent inquires I have received have been about hyper focusing. Most have been from people who want to control it in some way. Anyone, with or without ADHD can control their ability to focus at will. I truly believe that. For those of us with ADHD it is far more challenging; however, when it is achieved at will, it can be repeated and eventually harnessed – if you are willing to take the steps to get there! The ‘willing‘ (motivation) part can get in our way, especially if you have ADHD; therefore, this eBook is written specifically with that in mind.
"One Boy’s Struggle is a real eye-opener. It should be read by all parents struggling to understand how best to support their ADHD children. Adults with ADHD will likely find validation and new hope from reading Bryan’s story.” ~Dr. Edward Hallowell
CHADD Educator of the Year for 2010, Dr. Katherine Nell Mcneil, "Highly recommends" One Boy’s Struggle
“A very brave and moving memoir.” Pulitzer Prize winning journalist, Katherine Ellison, author of 'Buzz'.
"Gripping account of both the struggles and positive polarities of ADD written beautifully in a honest, open and courageous manner." David A. Crenshaw, Ph.D.
"Anyone with ADD or with friends, loved ones or colleagues with ADD will be informed and touched by Bryan’s book." Bryan Robinson Ph.D. author of 'The Art of Confident Living'
Thank you!
It is an honor to have written a book that is meaning so much and benefiting so many. It is my hope that one day ‘One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir’ will be read by every teacher and parent, as well as read by every adult with ADHD. If you own a copy and have read it, please consider passing it on, loan it out to friends, a support group or donating it to your local library.
All material provided within this website is opinion only, and is not to be construed as medical advice, instruction or direction of any kind. No action should be taken solely on the contents of this website. Visit a health care professional before making any decisions about your health.
