Motivational and inspirational writer, Bryan Hutchinson is the author of several books about life with ADHD including the highly acclaimed, best selling "One Boy′s Struggle: A Memoir" and the author of the hilarious eBook that went viral "10 Things I Hate about ADHD"

The End of having a Best Friend?

I found this pic, it may be a little too far off base, but I thought it was funny and relates. It’s all fun and games, until…

Someone recently shared with me an article from the New York Times about the end of having a best friend. My first thought about this was “Are they crazy?” and my final thoughts on this subject are: “Are they absolutely, ridiculously, out of their minds?!?”

I mean c’mon, have we come so far that we are back to burning supposed Witches at the stake? ‘But Jamie doesn’t have a best friend and her older sister does’… And the point is? Jamie will eventually find a best friend and confidant, no reason to try and equalize everything in the world to the point we are just being categorically controlling, manipulating and restrictive to natural growth. Kids can’t even go out to play as we did back in, oh, the 80’s and countless centuries before then.  We complain about kids being on their computers too much and yet, one of the main things that keep kids still going outside we want to take away from them too? In the effort to over-protect, we are creating situations far worse. Supreme control is not the answer, history has proved it time and time again.

I fully understand having sympathy for the child who has difficulty making friends and worrying about bad influences. I was one of those lonely kids for a long while, but eventually I found some very special friends, best friends that helped me overcome, and become a better person – the person I am today, as a matter of fact. I wouldn’t be writing this blog today if I had not had my best friends through my life. If you’ve read One Boy’s Struggle you know the vital roles certain special friends had and most importantly, Phil. I can’t imagine a world growing up without their roles in my life. It is just horrifying to imagine such a world and what could’ve been otherwise.

It’s difficult enough for kids in today’s pressure packed, extremely educational strategized world, but are we going too far by taking away the things that provide some kind of semblance of natural growth? Yes, I most certainly think we are. What about you? I fully agree that kids can get into the wrong crowd and some friends are destructive, but that’s what parents are for, to nurture and watch their child grow and help guide, especially when they are misled. Leave the parenting to parents, where it belongs, I say. When schools become substitute parenting centers, this is what happens. While we are at it, why not go back to slapping the hands of left handers for not using their right hand, and how about forcing kids with ADHD just not to have it – you know, they can do it, if they just apply themselves! Okay, I don’t want to get to heated, but these things get me riled up.

Get rid of best friends? Indeed, have they completely and utterly gone out of their minds?!? That’s the answer to a better society? Ha, wait and see, but don’t say I didn’t send out this warning: If this is the direction we go as a society, we are speeding towards something far more dangerous and disastrous than anything we have experienced so far and we’ve been experiencing some bad stuff.

So, how does this relate to ADHD? It doesn’t have to, but since I brought it up: ADHD is already stigmatized and in certain areas over diagnosed, because, kids are in situations that help mimic ADHD symptoms in their behavior. We might as well expect that type of misdiagnosis to be on the rise. At the same time we should also expect the rise of under diagnosis of those who truly have ADHD , but are left behind because sooner or later the line will become so blurred that no one will be able to tell the difference.

~Bryan

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