Adult ADHD can be sexy for many reasons, the list is literally endless, and yet the majority of those reasons are not for good behavior. Being generally bad can be sexy too and if there’s one word that is synonymous with ADHD, whether it is spoken or unspoken that word would be: Bad.

Bad Manners, Bad Behavior, Bad Morals and Bad Person and on and on…

Bad, Selfish, Narcissistic, Ill-mannered, lazy, unmotivated, and Stupid, Idiotic, Procrastinator and the ever popular Crazy are just a few of the names which have become staples in the depository of names for those of us with ADHD. In Adult ADHD can be Sexy I address a few of them and yet it is impossible to address all of them, not to mention exhausting too. In the end, they all mean the same thing.

Thank you all so much for your input so far!

You’ve spoken and I have listened!!! I appreciate it and how! The pink covers will NOT be used; those covers have obviously sent the wrong message. The piece of chocolate stays and the line about the chocolate goes. After reading the book the reason for the piece of chocolate will become clear.

Dr. Nancy Irwin, one of our ADDer World Social Network members, was so kind and sent me a quote for use. If you’ve been reading my relationship, love and yes, even the sex related articles (shhhhhh!), then you have a very good idea of what will be found inside the cover of this book, but also with plenty of surprises! For any of our professionals reading this and would like to provide input, such as in the way of quotes, please send me a message for more information.

I have written posts indicating that ADHD is not always the culprit in a broken relationship. I sincerely do not believe everything and anything is the fault, or should be blamed on an ADHD partner.

However, with that said:

ADHD can have devastating effects on relationships. I don’t think that’s a secret. Still, if anyone with ADHD is in a relationship and has avoided seeking help or proper treatment, or has been uncertain if doing so will help, then my best suggestion is to seek treatment because, yes, your ADHD could certainly be the cause of relationship hardships, or it could be complicating an otherwise beautiful, worth-it relationship.

Diagnosis with proper treatment will not only help make relationships better and more fulfilling, but proper treatment can make one’s entire life more rewarding and satisfying.

Diagnosis with proper treatment equals more out of life!

True love, with the right person, at the right time, as unpredictable as that may be, can be, and I believe is, the best self-medication the universe has ever created!

The last month or so I have been writing rather frequently about love, relationships and the connection to us ADDers in general, from my point of view. I don’t know exactly why I started this indulgence; therefore, to answer a lot of emails in one post, the answer I come up with, and believe the closest to my true motivation, is that I enjoy it. I take pleasure in writing about love and relationship, probably more than I enjoy writing about anything else. It’s self-indulgence, I know. Forgive me.

It seems though, that many of you have found connections in the posts I write and that means a lot to me.

Sometimes a relationship needs to end

In today’s world it seems we are obsessed with couples counseling, relationship solutions and even medication that will make a partner behave better for the needs of another. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for improving relationships and finding the middle of the road that may help two people get their spark back, and recover long lost reasons for being together in the first place. And yet, there could come a point when we realize it just isn’t meant to be and we lose valuable time not admitting this.

I know, I have done it and I had a significant amount of emotional and mental investment, which I did not want to give up on. In the end it was the only solution that really, truly worked. To end it. It was the right decision, although one of the most painful and exhausting I have ever made. Today I am happily married and feel very fortunate for it.

Not really. Physical sex that is, it is nearly irrelevant. You wouldn’t think so, because, well, we probably think of sex more than we think of anything else. However, we don’t think of physical sex that much, not in that way. Do you doubt me? Then read on.

Our inherent definition of sex is entirely different than what we think sex should be. I mean to say that what marketers, advertisers and movies, TV and magazines show us what sex should be, isn’t what we define sex to be.  And you know what – sex in of itself is uninspiring for someone with ADHD, and yet, for someone who doesn’t have ADHD, I have heard tell that that having sex, physically and emotionally, with someone who has ADHD can be the best sexual experience they have ever had, the first few times, that is. Have you heard this too?

Have you ever cried? For love’s sake, have you ever cried? The tears of sorrow, the tears of wanting, needing and not having? What could have been?
 
The perceptions of a mind caught in the past, hopes and dreams, of the past so long ago?
 
There was that moment.