Lately I have been reading a lot about the strength based approach to managing, coping and, more importantly, striving and thriving with ADHD! It’s a contagious, positive and wonderful new movement and I like to think I have been a small part of helping push this movement into the forefront by writing my blog, my books and eBooks.

David A Crenshaw recently wrote on facebook:
A—adventurous
D—determined
H—hardy
D—dynamic
©David A. Crenshaw, 2011, all rights reserved.

I really like his use of ADHD! It’s a new way of looking at ADHD. We can talk about the difficulties, the challenges and the disadvantages of ADHD all day long. We can read about and study what the science tells us and what the statistics show us, but there’s one thing I have noticed, and that is that those who believe in and live by their strengths, whereby one uses what they can do well to their advantage seem to be happier and live more fulfilling lives.

This is a very special announcement. I have a new book coming out in a couple short weeks. It is my labor of love, the grandest adventure and the most ambitious writing I have endeavored since One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir. The title of my new book is 7 Crucial Tips for Parents and Teachers of Children with ADHD. Don’t let the title fool you though, this new book will be just as important a read for adults with ADHD as it is for parents and teachers. I would even go so far as calling it my Manifesto – at least, that’s what my wife is calling it.

The new book shares with readers what I consider the 7 most crucial tips for parents and teachers. Because of how serious I am about this new book I asked two professional therapists (who you may have heard of) to write Forewords to this new book! You will read them soon.

This article is specifically for those who have been, or, are still on a road that seems blocked.

Have you ever been so frustrated because no matter what you try, no matter what you do or how much you want something, there’s just nothing in the world that seems to work? You cannot get past a certain point. Doesn’t it seem the road is blocked? Actually, I believe the road is blocked, indeed.

Have you ever felt like you are traveling through life with the emergency brake on? In other words no matter how hard you press on the accelerator or how fast you may be going, it just doesn’t seem like you are getting anywhere. It doesn’t have to do with accomplishments or successes, it just seems like everything and anything either doesn’t live up to expectations or just never touches the right buttons. We move on, backwards, forwards, ever striving and creating, but not sure why, for what, or for that matter, for who. However, giving up is out of the question, even when at times we believe we have finally done all that we can do and there’s nothing left to give.

“Dancing with the feet is one thing, but dancing with the heart is another.”

Author unknown

One of the most frequent inquiries that I get is about writing.

It’s a funny thing, writing, you don’t have to be very good at it to do it and I am not very good at it. Some say I am, some say I am not and some are in-between.  It’s nice to hear that someone has enjoyed something I have written, and it is painful to hear that my writing isn’t all that good. Either way, I benefit from my ADHD mind in that I don’t focus on criticism too long (not all criticism anyway). It’s not that I don’t care, because trust me, I do care, but one way or the other I just keep on writing. My thoughts and fingers love to dance.

There’s a certain question or group of questions which are basically the same that I get asked time and time again. The questions are: “What would you tell your younger self if you could go back in time?” – “What message do you have for the youth today suffering from ADHD?” – “What’s the one thing you would tell a student that would help them achieve academic success…?” And many more, but in the end the answers I give relate to all young people with ADHD, regardless of how the question is phrased:

1) Do not rely on trial and error alone.

Thanks to our ADDer World members, we have the final front and back cover for Adult ADHD can be Sexy!

Special thanks to all of our members on our ADDer World Network who were so kind to give input. Interestingly, with this request I soon realized I have quite a few readers who have not become members of our AW Network yet and you wrote me with your opinions – thanks to all who took a little time out, your input has helped a great deal and has influenced the final cover! Here ya go:

Back:

Thanks for the overwhelming suggestion to use picture A, we decided to use it on the back cover, this could change depending on how it looks in print. We still have time to decide which photos to use inside the book, so if you haven’t given your input yet on which photos for inside the book, please feel free to do so at this link.

On our ADDer World ADHD Social Network, I recently re-posted my first Holiday / Christmas message from 2 years ago first posted on this blog, where I started my crusade. It’s hard to believe I have been writing this blog for nearly 3 years! WoW how time flies. With close to 400 blog posts in that time, you may think that I would eventually get tired of writing so much, but no, actually, I have also put together 3 books and 3 free E-books, well, let’s be fair, “The Brilliant Reality of ADHD” is mostly a collection of posts from this blog, so if you would like a souvenir, or want to support my writing or need a great gift idea, there you have it! This leads me to (I enjoy being led from time to time)…

I have written posts indicating that ADHD is not always the culprit in a broken relationship. I sincerely do not believe everything and anything is the fault, or should be blamed on an ADHD partner.

However, with that said:

ADHD can have devastating effects on relationships. I don’t think that’s a secret. Still, if anyone with ADHD is in a relationship and has avoided seeking help or proper treatment, or has been uncertain if doing so will help, then my best suggestion is to seek treatment because, yes, your ADHD could certainly be the cause of relationship hardships, or it could be complicating an otherwise beautiful, worth-it relationship.

Diagnosis with proper treatment will not only help make relationships better and more fulfilling, but proper treatment can make one’s entire life more rewarding and satisfying.

Diagnosis with proper treatment equals more out of life!

The reception of my memoir One Boy’s Struggle by people with ADHD and without ADHD alike, and professionals, has been phenomenal.

As most anyone knows, who has been reading my blog, you know I did not originally intend to publish. It all started as a therapeutic effort on my part to get my thoughts and experiences out of my head and on paper, something I could read back to myself and make sense of it all. Well, while I was making sense of my life I started to include all the things I believed would have helped me had it been known that I had ADD (ADHD), and while I did that, it was then that I decided, or rather, it came to me that I needed to share my life with you. It was not an easy decision, but I know it was the right decision. 

Here’s a top ten list I have put together of things to do and NOT do with your ADHD partner:

Do not:

1. Do not play parent (motherly or fatherly)
2. Do not take on the sole responsibility of trying to correct his or her behavior
3. Do not blame every aspect of the relationship which might be damaged on his or her ADHD
4. Do not make statements which are demeaning with the hope that it will spark his or her attention that they must make corrective efforts.
5. Do not say things like: “This is the right way to do this or that.” Or “That’s not the way things should be done.”
6. Do not take his or her hyper focusing on projects or people, places or things personally. Hyper focusing is not about your relationship directly or indirectly, it’s a difficult to control or much less, predict, trait of ADHD.