How do you define success with ADHD? When I hear the word success I wonder what each person defines it as. I have always said success is what you define it. Here are 6 things I now have the opportunity to define as success with ADHD for me:

1. Paid the monthly bills on time. I have automatic payments, so I don’t have to worry about most of them. There are other payments I have the opportunity to pay on time by making it to the bank on time, and I do for the most part.
2. Made it to most of my appointments on time. It’s awesome when I am there 5 minutes early and have the opportunity to unwind first. The key is using my appointment calendar on my Smartphone and setting multiple alarms and not making appointments I may not need.

I have an extremely vivid imagination. As a child with undiagnosed ADD (ADHD) I used my imagination to escape to somewhere better, somewhere I was special and where I felt appreciated. In my first book One Boy’s Struggle: A Memoir, I wrote of how I imagined I was Commander Mart, a superhero who flew through the skies on the back of a beautiful, incredible flying silver horse I named Pegasus! In my imagination I felt good about myself, I felt whole and I felt well.

The thing is though, sometimes my imagination got me into a lot of trouble because I would escape into it whenever I was bored, uninspired or when I was under pressure and scared. I didn’t know it then, but I used my imagination as a survival skill. I felt comfortable in my imagination, I was in control there and nobody could hurt me because I was Commander Mart and I could fly away on Pegasus.

Should I have a child or should I not have a child, that is the question.

And I have an answer:

Thanks, but no thanks. Or, to be clearer: No, I do not want to have a cute, little adorable one of my own; I do not want to nurture or raise a baby of my own.

This question has come up more times than I can remember and my answer has always been the same. Don’t get me wrong, there have been times when I have felt a little sentimental and thought, oh what would it have been like to raise a small child into an adult, but then as soon as someone says ‘Hey, you’re not too old’ well, that just ruins the whole thing for me and I remember, quite quickly in fact, that I do not want to have a baby. Nope. Yes, accidents happen, but ADHD or not, I am clever enough to not let such an accident happen. There are some things I can focus on quite well.

People of all ages are going to fall to peer pressure, both the good and the bad kind. Yes, there is a good kind of peer pressure, which will enable a person to achieve something better for themselves and possibly for a group. Then there is the bad kind of peer pressure which usually involves getting into some kind of mischief or doing something which one will eventually regret. There are plenty of definitions out there, so I am not going to try and explain all of the types and ways peer pressure exists.

There’s a certain question or group of questions which are basically the same that I get asked time and time again. The questions are: “What would you tell your younger self if you could go back in time?” – “What message do you have for the youth today suffering from ADHD?” – “What’s the one thing you would tell a student that would help them achieve academic success…?” And many more, but in the end the answers I give relate to all young people with ADHD, regardless of how the question is phrased:

1) Do not rely on trial and error alone.

Thanks to our ADDer World members, we have the final front and back cover for Adult ADHD can be Sexy!

Special thanks to all of our members on our ADDer World Network who were so kind to give input. Interestingly, with this request I soon realized I have quite a few readers who have not become members of our AW Network yet and you wrote me with your opinions – thanks to all who took a little time out, your input has helped a great deal and has influenced the final cover! Here ya go:

Back:

Thanks for the overwhelming suggestion to use picture A, we decided to use it on the back cover, this could change depending on how it looks in print. We still have time to decide which photos to use inside the book, so if you haven’t given your input yet on which photos for inside the book, please feel free to do so at this link.

Some days, they pass so slowly and some days, they pass so fast. When we wake, nobody knows which type of day it will be.

There can be no preconceived plans without adaptation. There can be no reality without visiting our dreamlands. There can be no pleasure without intense pain. Everything has its price and it seems to me our price is higher and higher and is too unbelievably excessive!

We know we can – we know… there’s that place… right there – inside each and every one of us. You and me. That Special Feeling inside, inside our hearts, inside our minds, inside, yes, inside our very souls. When we reach it, but… oh, it’s just out of reach and so far away, and right… right there, just right there in front of us. You can see it, you can feel it and some days, on the good ones, you can almost touch it, just almost.