New Book in 2010
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~Bryan
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Entries Tagged as 'Love'
Adult ADHD can be Sexy
November 24th, 2009 · 15 Comments · Love
Tags: add · ADHD · couple · danger seeker · exciting · happy · impulsive · Love · new relationship · relationships · risk taker · romance · sad · sexy · spontaneous
ADHD Diagnosis and Treatment is Imperative for Relationships and Self!
November 18th, 2009 · 13 Comments · 01 My Thoughts, Love
I have written posts indicating that ADHD is not always the culprit in a broken relationship. I sincerely do not believe everything and anything is the fault, or should be blamed on an ADHD partner.
However, with that said:
ADHD can have devastating effects on relationships. I don’t think that’s a secret. Still, if anyone with ADHD is in a relationship and has avoided seeking help or proper treatment, or has been uncertain if doing so will help, then my best suggestion is to seek treatment because, yes, your ADHD could certainly be the cause of relationship hardships, or it could be complicating an otherwise beautiful, worth-it relationship.
Diagnosis with proper treatment will not only help make relationships better and more fulfilling, but proper treatment can make one’s entire life more rewarding and satisfying.
Diagnosis with proper treatment equals more out of life!
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Tags: add · ADHD · adult · Help · ideas · if you · life · Love · relationship · Relationship issues · satisfaction · sex · suggestions · tips · Treatment
Goodbye
November 13th, 2009 · 17 Comments · Love
True love, with the right person, at the right time, as unpredictable as that may be, can be, and I believe is, the best self-medication the universe has ever created!
The last month or so I have been writing rather frequently about love, relationships and the connection to us ADDers in general, from my point of view. I don’t know exactly why I started this indulgence; therefore, to answer a lot of emails in one post, the answer I come up with, and believe the closest to my true motivation, is that I enjoy it. I take pleasure in writing about love and relationship, probably more than I enjoy writing about anything else. It’s self-indulgence, I know. Forgive me.
It seems though, that many of you have found connections in the posts I write and that means a lot to me.
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Tags: 5 · done · end · goodbye · helpless · list · loss · over · quit · relationship · top
If ADHD were fully controllable then it wouldn’t be ADHD
November 9th, 2009 · 12 Comments · 01 My Thoughts, Love
In relationships there’s a lot of give and take. You give some, you take some and you give some more. It’s a simple and necessary principle of reciprocation.
The above sentence could just about start out any relationship book, but it’s not a very good starting point for a book about ADHD, love, relationships and sex – you know, together. ADHD brings something to a relationship which is unpredictable, frustrating and exciting and, even a bit intimidating from time to time.
I think it is a good guess that most people would enjoy stability in their relationship, with someone who is dependable, reliable and in this way somewhat predictable. However, although people with ADHD can be dependable and reliable to a degree, they can hardly be predictable, at least not from month to month and especially not from year to year.
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Top Ten 10 Do and Don’t with your ADD ADHD partner
November 8th, 2009 · 20 Comments · 01 My Thoughts, 4 Men, 4 women, Love
Here’s a top ten list I have put together of things to do and NOT do with your ADHD partner:
Do not:
- Do not play parent (motherly or fatherly)
- Do not take on the sole responsibility of trying to correct his or her behavior
- Do not blame every aspect of the relationship which might be damaged on his or her ADHD
- Do not make statements which are demeaning with the hope that it will spark his or her attention that they must make corrective efforts.
- Do not say things like: “This is the right way to do this or that.” Or “That’s not the way things should be done.”
- Do not take his or her hyper focusing on projects or people, places or things personally. Hyper focusing is not about your relationship directly or indirectly, it’s a difficult to control or much less, predict, trait of ADHD.
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Tags: add · ADHD · assistance · do · do and don't · does · don't · Help · list · now · relationships · sex · suggestions · things · tips · yes
Love and ADHD a Bittersweet Reality
November 5th, 2009 · 16 Comments · 01 My Thoughts, Love
To be loved.
Can I be loved? Am I lovable?
Have you ever asked those questions of yourself?
Have you ever stayed up nights, wondering why - why can’t I be loved?
ADHD often seems like a bittersweet reality.
Many of us are creative, we are exciting and we can find things to do when the rest of those around us are bored out of their minds and yet, and this is the part that hurts, no matter how exciting we may be, how much we can liven up a boring moment for others, or how creative we may be, we all too often still feel lonely. So lonely, and then it comes, like a shadow from the dark corner, it spreads so slowly, then wraps itself around us, at first it feels warm and comforting, but it is not an afterglow, it is sadness, which after time may become misery.
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Tags: add · ADHD · be loved · can I love · Help · Love · love issues · love problems · problems · relationship problems
Lost Friends and Lost Lovers and Life Thereafter
October 30th, 2009 · 12 Comments · 01 My Thoughts, Love
Have you ever had relationships, so strong, so powerful, and ever so meaningful, that after that special person, or people, left, parts of yourself left too?
There are times when you can still feel them nearby, as if they are right there – you can almost touch them, but only, only, almost – fleetingly, across the sky, like a shooting star or a floating cloud.
When we are alone, unexpectedly, we may start thinking about them for no reason at all and, we miss them so deeply, so much it hurts ever so painfully, it brings tears to our eyes and we wonder why – ?
Just this topic alone, it brings up their memories so vividly.
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Tags: add · ADHD · forget · lost friends · lost moments · lost relationships · memories · sensitivities · sensitivity · the past
Who doesn’t want to fall in love forever?
October 20th, 2009 · 17 Comments · 01 My Thoughts, Love
Just a fantasy?
Who doesn’t want to fall in love forever? Who doesn’t want to meet that perfect person, that person who makes us feel whole, that person who makes us feel wonderful and beautiful?
Who doesn’t want to meet that person, you know who I am talking about, that person who understands who we are inside, who understands our ways of doing things, who understands the whys, the how’s and the frustrations, the temptations and the never ending contemplations?!
Who doesn’t? Who doesn’t want to meet that perfect, accepting person?
Out there, in the word, somewhere, that person is there, looking too, for acceptance, understanding and compassion, sympathy and reliability. We believe that, we have to - if we don’t – what else is there? Nothing else seems to matter, but then…
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Tags: adult ADHD · experience · in love · Love · lovers · relationships · romance
Download ADHD eBook – share it plz
July 20th, 2009 · No Comments · 000 Brilliant Reality of ADHD, 002 Boy's Struggle, 002 Boy's Struggle reviews, 01 My Thoughts, 4 Men, 4 women, Love
Wow, what an overwhelming response from the new PDF I sent out yesterday! Thank you to all of you who responded with comments and suggestions!! Okay, I changed up the document because many of you had nearly the same suggestions. I included some of the more ‘controversial‘ articles and what seem the current favorites: Is it ADHD or bad luck & Is Sex important to someone with ADHD?. Those of you that wrote me mentioned these articles would make you more likely to share the file with others. I also included the quote that I have on my blog – it was interesting that several mentioned it; I didn’t realize it was so popular 
Here’s the updated file:
ADHD_A_Real_Life_Story_Bryan_Hutchinson (download)
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Sex Love Marriage Affairs and ADHD
May 25th, 2009 · 28 Comments · 01 My Thoughts, Love
Why does it seem that too many people with ADHD come to a point in their relationship that they seek an affair, or simply find themselves in the midst of overly fantasizing about having an affair? This doesn’t apply to everyone and yet, there seems to be a growing number of mid-aged ADDers fooling around while married or in a long term relationship. What gives?
It seemed like a good relationship. Yes, it had some ups and downs, what relationship doesn’t?
I have a theory about some affairs and people with ADHD. Actually, I have several theories, but in this post I am going to try to keep it to just one of them. Remember though, it’s just my theory and, like I said, it doesn’t cover every affair.
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Is Sex important to someone with ADHD?
May 9th, 2009 · 38 Comments · 4 Men, 4 women, Love
Not really. Physical sex that is, it is nearly irrelevant. You wouldn’t think so, because, well, we probably think of sex more than we think of anything else. However, we don’t think of physical sex that much, not in that way. Do you doubt me? Then read on.
Our inherent definition of sex is entirely different than what we think sex should be. I mean to say that what marketers, advertisers and movies, TV and magazines show us what sex should be, isn’t what we define sex to be. And you know what – sex in of itself is uninspiring for someone with ADHD, and yet, for someone who doesn’t have ADHD, I have heard tell that that having sex, physically and emotionally, with someone who has ADHD can be the best sexual experience they have ever had, the first few times, that is. Have you heard this too?
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The Harshness and Disasters of ADHD Relationships
August 28th, 2008 · 6 Comments · Love
Not all relationships with an ADDer are harsh and not all relationships are doomed to failure. However, there seems to me to be a relating factor in most the messages I read across the internet by other ADDers. It goes like this – the relationship starts off great and then after a while the sparks and fireworks tend to wear off and the ADDer becomes bored. We say things like the other person didn’t help me, motivate me, validate me and the number 1 complaint is that he or she did not excite me anymore.
Correct me if I am wrong, but isn’t a relationship about two people? Isn’t there more involved than just the other person pleasing us all the time, doing what we need and want? Yes, relationships do change after a couple years as two people get relaxed around each other, that is natural, and yet difficult for some ADDers to transition into.
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Tags: ADHD ADD love relationships couples therapy help partne
That Relationship
February 22nd, 2008 · 1 Comment · 002 Boy's Struggle, Love
The complete story to this article is within the pages of my
I write about relationships quite a bit, I like to write about them and I hope what I have written has meant something for those who read my articles.
The ADD ADHD mind is very complex and not everyone is the same, we can relate on a lot of levels and in a lot of situations and I believe when it comes to relationships we relate quite well with each other too.
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The ADD ADHD Ghosts of Relationships past
February 14th, 2008 · No Comments · Love
A frequent question I am asked is how to get over past relationships, especially the relationships which never make it off the ground. That’s a tough question. First of all, I don’t know if ‘getting over’ the past is the right way to look at this. I am sure you, just like me, have been told time and again to just get over something, let it go or forget about it. Don’t you just love that? Not too helpful is it? “Just get over it” and presto it’s gone, wiped from your mind never to rear its ugly head ever again! If you have ADD ADHD you know it is not as simple as that, it’s not and frankly I don’t think it’s that simple for anyone when it comes to a past situation that has significant emotional impact.
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